Handling Things

We all have times in our lives when things get tough. Often, how we handle these events shape us. I've often thought about how losing a sister (a reversed adoption choice), the addition of my wonderful brother, my jobs, my ups and downs, and my recent surgery has made me what I am. I left out the sickness and the death of my mother, not because it didn't shape me, but because it is too important to be lumped into a group. The aftermath of her death is still shaping me to this day.

There are others I know and I wonder how those who treat daily life as a burden, despite no trauma or true weight on their shoulders, handle big things. It is these people, filled with cliched lines about their struggles and the need for constant approval,  acknowledgment, and sympathy (these people do not believe one could be empathetic, because they are so self-absorbed and delusional, they truly believe nobody in history has ever faced and persevered through what they've experienced, even if it is no more than working outside in the cold rain. I often notice similar characteristics in these people, such as they are often ill, sleep a lot, despite claims of insomnia, waking up late, then announcing they're running late. They procrastinate, claiming victory when they succeed "under fire," and blame others for their failures. This blame carries over to nearly every facet of their lives,. Even when things are good, they choose to find fault in others, comparing their good to others' bad. They project pride, confidence, even smile, but their words and body language tell another story. They tend not to smell, taste, or see what is acknowledged by most, then claim to be too busy to have noticed.

So, it's a legitimate question for any who wish to honestly answer, but I doubt anyone who acts this way sees themselves as the world sees them. Yes, to see your own flaws is a burden, but I'd like to think, even when we do make excuses, deep down, we're just saving face in public. I've experienced these types a lot lately and the constant excuses, lack of accountability, bloated appearance of self-confidence coupled with incessant negativity is the tell. I'm not saying we should all share our flaws with the world, because people, in most cases, will use them and feed off them. Nature is survival of the fittest, but humanity is simply survival. Our unfit makeup, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional, makes it almost impossible for us to be truly kind, understanding, and empathetic to others, especially when we are taught to believe we're special. None of us, until we do so much for others without reward or acknowledgment that we become martyrs, and sadly, there are no more martyrs in the modern world. Imagine the strength it takes to handles all life throws at you daily, adding the unforeseen pitfalls one gets through, then facing the challenge of trauma without letting it negatively affect you, and still have the fortitude to brush it all aside and think of others first. Is there this much benevolence in the world, let alone in one person? In a society, where people are owed others doing their dishes, taking out their trash, cleaning their clothes, and telling them how much harder they work than those who do their chorss, I say no. We have a hard enough time handling traffic, gossip, and the weather to be bothered with real burdens; like our fellow man and woman.