I consider myself lucky. I am viewed by most as a funny person. I am viewed by those who know me well as someone with a wonderful sense of humor. Being funny, appreciating humor, and having a sense of humor are very different things. I assume, those without a sense of humor, don't realize this.
There are times in life when our humor gets us in trouble. Most of the time, it's because we assume most people can decipher humor with seriousness, not that they are mutually exclusive. I've often wondered what life must be like for those without a sense of humor. Sure they can laugh at a TV show or movie, enjoy a comedian, even laugh at a joke, but that's all a reaction to an outside stimulus. A sense of humor comes from within. It's the ability to view any and all situations, if the moment allows it, with a touch of farce, sarcasm, irony, and quite simply, humor. I assume there's something wired differently in people who can't do this or maybe it simply boils down to cognitive abilities. I also believe that those without it find the task of understanding others too arduous and would rather respond with scorn or malice.
Much of humor comes from being able to laugh at one's self. Self-deprecation is one of the highest forms of humor and I think this is tied into self-esteem, When one lacks cognitive abilities and fails to understand much of the world around them, it has to be difficult. When daily things others view as common are a challenge to equate, it must be even more difficult to decipher the difference between seriousness and humor. Not being able to laugh at one's self must give a person the complex that others must be laughing at them. This is not entirely false. As those of us with a deep sense of humor find humor in our own shortcomings, we salivate at the chance to mock others, again, assuming they're like us and can take it. When they can not, it is an instant and deep strain on the relationship and when those of us with a sense of humor realize that a person doesn't have one, we tend to tread carefully, dumbing ourselves down to conversations about the weather, traffic, and familiar things, where humor rarely enters in and confusion of intent is absent.
I miss my friends from Westchester mostly for the attacks. We all believe we're funny in some way and we are able to take it, but over the years, when new people were introduced to my inner circle, they mostly came away with questions such as "Do you people even like each other?" The answer was always "No," because we love each other. We love each other for the ability to call each other out on anything and everything, always with just enough humor, to keep it from being hurtful, although not always. It was actually those times when our bonds grew closer, but that's another blog.
My humor and my appreciation of humor, the darker, more sarcastic the better, will never change and my internal sense of humor will always define me. I've had to curb it over the past few years, as it's not something everyone can understand upon our initial meetings. Those who are willing to get to know me, understand who I am, my intentions, and that if I'm not teasing you, I don't like you. If this sounds rude or if you feel slighted, please understand, this is what has made small children embrace me as one of their role models for almost thirty years. Maybe more if I count my brother and his friends, who I was merciless to as young kids; always with a smile.
One last note: My sense of humor is probably why I am alive today. In my darkest times, my ability to laugh at the worst aspects of my own life, and to joke with others, as if nothing was wrong, got me through it. The world around me is still dark, but those who make me smile, and those who I can make smile, my way, is the light that shines brightest. Making others laugh, when their days were coming to an end, are memories I cherish and while I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, I'd like to think, if they exist, those who I once made laugh will look down and laugh when I'm jumping in the flames and getting poked with a pitchfork. At least I'll have some wonderfully hilarious company.
There are times in life when our humor gets us in trouble. Most of the time, it's because we assume most people can decipher humor with seriousness, not that they are mutually exclusive. I've often wondered what life must be like for those without a sense of humor. Sure they can laugh at a TV show or movie, enjoy a comedian, even laugh at a joke, but that's all a reaction to an outside stimulus. A sense of humor comes from within. It's the ability to view any and all situations, if the moment allows it, with a touch of farce, sarcasm, irony, and quite simply, humor. I assume there's something wired differently in people who can't do this or maybe it simply boils down to cognitive abilities. I also believe that those without it find the task of understanding others too arduous and would rather respond with scorn or malice.
Much of humor comes from being able to laugh at one's self. Self-deprecation is one of the highest forms of humor and I think this is tied into self-esteem, When one lacks cognitive abilities and fails to understand much of the world around them, it has to be difficult. When daily things others view as common are a challenge to equate, it must be even more difficult to decipher the difference between seriousness and humor. Not being able to laugh at one's self must give a person the complex that others must be laughing at them. This is not entirely false. As those of us with a deep sense of humor find humor in our own shortcomings, we salivate at the chance to mock others, again, assuming they're like us and can take it. When they can not, it is an instant and deep strain on the relationship and when those of us with a sense of humor realize that a person doesn't have one, we tend to tread carefully, dumbing ourselves down to conversations about the weather, traffic, and familiar things, where humor rarely enters in and confusion of intent is absent.
I miss my friends from Westchester mostly for the attacks. We all believe we're funny in some way and we are able to take it, but over the years, when new people were introduced to my inner circle, they mostly came away with questions such as "Do you people even like each other?" The answer was always "No," because we love each other. We love each other for the ability to call each other out on anything and everything, always with just enough humor, to keep it from being hurtful, although not always. It was actually those times when our bonds grew closer, but that's another blog.
My humor and my appreciation of humor, the darker, more sarcastic the better, will never change and my internal sense of humor will always define me. I've had to curb it over the past few years, as it's not something everyone can understand upon our initial meetings. Those who are willing to get to know me, understand who I am, my intentions, and that if I'm not teasing you, I don't like you. If this sounds rude or if you feel slighted, please understand, this is what has made small children embrace me as one of their role models for almost thirty years. Maybe more if I count my brother and his friends, who I was merciless to as young kids; always with a smile.
One last note: My sense of humor is probably why I am alive today. In my darkest times, my ability to laugh at the worst aspects of my own life, and to joke with others, as if nothing was wrong, got me through it. The world around me is still dark, but those who make me smile, and those who I can make smile, my way, is the light that shines brightest. Making others laugh, when their days were coming to an end, are memories I cherish and while I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, I'd like to think, if they exist, those who I once made laugh will look down and laugh when I'm jumping in the flames and getting poked with a pitchfork. At least I'll have some wonderfully hilarious company.
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