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Conversation With A 98-Year-Old Grandmother

Setting: 9:30 Thursday morning. Coffee is made, her yogurt mixed with banana, topped with cut strawberries is waiting with a half a bagel. She arrives at the table.

GM will be GrandMa
Me will be Me

GM: Oh look everything is ready.
Me: Yep, did you want the half a bagel or a waffle?
(whispering under my breath) A waffle because you've already made a bagel.
GM: A waffle! This coffee is iced cold.
Me: OK, it was out about two minutes, I'll microwave it.
GM: Why don't you just microwave it.
Me: OK
GM: Do you want the sports section?
Me: Sure
GM: Here's the sports section.
Me: Thanks.
GM: (with me still making breakfast for myself) Did the Phillies win?
Me: I don't know I'll let you know in a second.
GM: Let me know if they did.
Me: OK. Can I get you anything else.
GM: Yes, when you go upstairs can you sharpen my eye liner?
Me: Yes. Do you want anything else to eat or drink?
GM: No. Later we'll go to Kim's house and see the kids and go swimming.
Me: We'll see, plus, why don't we wait for the weekend when the kids are home from school.
GM: When we go later, you can swim.
Me: That's OK. I think it's going to rain later.
GM: It's only ten minutes away, it doesn't matter.
Me: We'll see, I don't want to go and be stuck in the house.
GM: (looking through the paper) It's going to rain today.
Me: I know. Oh the Phillies won.
GM: I miss Philadelphia they always had the games on, here, ehhh
Me: They are five games ahead of Atlanta. You like golf, the U.S. Open is on from today until Sunday.
GM: Tiger isn't playing an I don't know any of the other guys.
Me: Mickelson is playing.
GM: I'm going to watch the view...even though it's stupid.
Me: Ok, maybe we'll watch it Sunday when it's the last day.
GM: Those kids were great last night.
Me: What kids?
GM: The kids in that movie we watched (Night of the Hunter).
Me: They were. Did you know the guy who played the young husband was Peter Graves from Mission Impossible?
GM: You have to drive me to McKinley's drug store later so I can get my great grandaughter a graduation card.
Me: OK, once Heather leaves.
GM: Why not now?
Me: We're eating.
GM: Go get the Adirondack chair out of the garage.
Me: I will when you go outside.
GM: I'm finished with my coffee.
Me; Did you take your pills?
GM: No, can I have some juice (I get up and pour it). Not so much.
Me: (I start doing dishes). Do you need anything else?
GM: Yes, I need my eye liner sharpened and you have to take me to the drug store before we go to Kim's.
Me: I'll sharpen the eye liner in a minute and we'll go to get the card after Heather leaves.
GM: I'm going outside.
Me: OK.

about an hour later

GM: Watch me go down the stairs.
Me: Can you wait til Heather comes?
GM: OH OK (she starts to walk down the stairs).
Me: Grandma, please wait til Heather gets here.
GM: Why should I?
Me: (A knock at the door - it's Heather) Grandma wait two seconds.
GM: Get me the adirondack chair.
Me: I will later. (I go to get a drink and see Heather getting the chair).
GM: Jonathan!!!
Me: Yes, Grandma.
GM: Do you want to sit in the Adirondack chair?
Me: Maybe later.
GM: OK

two minutes later

GM: Jonathan!!!
Me: Yes.
GM: We're walking to McKinley's to get the car since you don't want to go.
Me: I said we'd go later. After Heather leaves (Heather assures me it's a few blocks away and not too far).
GM: OK, well get ready to go to Kim's.
Me: We'll go when the kids get home or maybe when the weather is nicer.
GM: OK, but the kids don't have to be around, you work with kids, you don't need to see them.
Me: Let's play it by ear and see if it's raining.
GM: OK. See if there is a movie on tonight.
Me: (Whispering to myself) We're watching Se7en! What's in the box!!!!!

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