I awoke at 5:40 this morning and oddly enough I was able to drift back into the dark abyss we call sleep. I had dreams of surfing brought on by some lovely photographs I saw on Facebook, posted by a friend I haven't seen in at least five years. I had dreams of dining with Eric Ripert, brought on by a recent reading of Bourdain's A Cook's Tour. If you like Bourdain or hate him, it need not matter. Pick up this book and read the second half of the chapter West Coast. In it, he describes a twenty-two course tasting menu prepared by Thomas Keller. It's an absolutely amazing segment of the book and a must for all foodies.
I officially rose at 7:32. I went to the bathroom and then shuffled down the steep staircase to the kitchen to feed the cat. He was happy and I presume we're "good." At least for today. I took his rubbing his neck against my ankle of a sign of solidarity. I made myself a large cup of coffee (there is no "Vente" in my world) and in a rare moment grabbed some food. I normally do not like to eat right after getting out of bed. I also never eat sweets in the morning. Today, I changed that and had a tiny slice of apple pie, which I then wrapped inside a slice of cheddar and a thick slice of ham. None of these things scream out delicious on their own, but combined had a complexity that can't be described. Nice snack to start my day.
Well I've been on a blog tear in the last two days, but it's really been a while since I've sat down and just listed some things that are on my mind. Some are serious, some are frivolous, and some are just inane. So here it is. Enjoy, scoff, or disregard, it doesn't bother me. This is more for me than for you. Although if you do choose to indulge, I hope you enjoy, or a least, get some insight into my inner workings.
Thankfully for Senator Wiener, he learned a valuable lesson from Brett Favre. Oh wait!
One Life To Live is being taken off the air. The show has been on for something like 50 years and has given single mom's pleasure in the hour before the kids got home for years. Inevitably it will be replaced with a daytime talk show. My suggestion is that they give Lady Gaga a talk show. She's trendy and despite her outlandish outfits, actually has a positive message.
If you love your kids, buy them a dictionary. I remember when I was a child I got one as a gift and was thrilled. I was thrilled, because in my mind I had every word at my fingertips. In retrospect, I'm thrilled because my parents cared about my intelligence. A misspelled word on a resume or an application can be the difference between getting a job or not. Don't trust the Internet, because it won't always be there for you.
There are so many charities out there, but may I make a plea to everyone to donate, as little as they want to charities such as Share our Strength and City Harvest. Restaurants throw out so much food, we at home are no better. Let's feed the hungry. It's the least expensive charity with the biggest reward per dollar. Please look at your loved ones and imagine them hungry.
Some people say I get nasty when I'm drunk. Some say I'm hilarious. Some say these two things on the same night.
I don't do drugs, but if I did, I would do peyote. Not that I want to hallucinate, but it is one of the few words that rhymes with coyote.
People that say that life is the most valuable gift you can give have obviously not seen that diamond skull.
When I drive by a cemetery and see all the headstones I'm in awe. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in the deserts in Egypt. It's like the worlds largest cemetery.
I was as happy as the next person when they killed Bin Laden, but not for the same reasons as everyone else. I looked at it financially. Do you know how much money it would have cost to "try" him?
I'm a poor manager of money. The other day, I was throwing out everything that was keeping me close to being called a hoarder. I found $2.74 on the floor. I had $2.35 in my savings account.
I have a friend, who is caring and only wants the best for me. She told me that something I was eating was bad for me and I shouldn't eat it anymore, because it will kill me. Later that week she jumped out of a plane.
I have another friend who said if I lost 100 lbs she'd sleep with me. I've lost 53 lbs in one year and on Tuesday I'm having my left leg removed. I guess I stumped her.
Why is it that the only women that ever hit on me are married or in a serious relationship and I'm the one guy who doesn't want to go there?
I wrote this on Facebook, but what's with college girls on the bus cuddling with Teddy bears? I think back to when I was that age, I'd have run away from girls like this. After sleeping with them of course. I just can't help but think that during sex, I'd have these weird menage a trois visions. It'd be like a cross between a porno and Where The Wild Things Are. Inevitably I'd ruin it by asking the girl to call me Max.
They recently came out with a whipped cream flavored vodka. This is quite nice, but I'm waiting for a mayonnaise flavored vodka. Speaking of Vodka, can someone Italian tell me if it's Penne Vodka or Penne a la Vodka? No Italian restaurants seem to be in agreement.
I saw a cab from Morningstar Taxi with a stencil on the side that read (no space where a letter might have been) Moningstar? I couldn't help but think that the driver was going to pull up wearing black face and call me Massa! This is not racist, this is a generalization of how blacks talked in slave days based on old films I've seen.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you are dating someone and they utter the words "I don't like films that are in black and white." You should run as fast as you can away from that person.
I had cold cuts three times for lunch this week. In the past three months I've had them two other times. It got me to thinking about the things I've avoided or neglected. I've sat down and eaten a bowl of pasta one time in the last two years. One of my favorite things in the world is escargot, but I've only had them once in about ten years (at the Kilt). I've eaten about four onions and three heads of lettuce in the last two weeks. I'm not supposed to eat either because of my gall bladder. I have only had Buffalo wings once since football season ended. I had them every week during. In the past two days, I've eaten half a quiche. I still feel like a man. I'm dead broke, but have a $200 gift card to Morton's. Cajun Rib Eye, here I come!
Being away from home makes me realize that there is nothing keeping me there. I adore my friends, but in the end, they are connected to their homes due to family or relationships. I have neither. It may be time for a change. I wish I had enough money to pick up and leave, but even then I'd probably just buy a round of shots and go back to my dreams.
I always wonder when I'm in the supermarket how many chickens there are in the world. You see whole chickens, breasts, drumsticks, legs, thighs, cutlets, wings. It's crazy. Then I realized that chickens don't wear condoms and they must all go to that College Inn Chicken Brothel.
Ithaca is a college town. Being in a college town during the summer is like watching a vampire movie that only takes place during the day.
You know how you have hot friends, but their friends are always hotter? Ever wonder what their friends look like?
Why is it that all the people I know who are huge homophobes are the ones I think are gay?
I kind of want there to be a football lockout. I want to hear my married friends excuses for still needing to go out on Sundays. "Honey, Michelle Kwan is making a comeback and the guys wanna see if she can nail the triple lutz this time around." "I always loved golf." Plus, tailgating sure will change.
It's funny how we take for granted horrific things we've seen on TV, even when they depict actual things that happened. The other day, while beating someone in a game called cornhole (it's not what you think, although you do end up with your beanbags close to the other hole), I said "there hasn't been a beating like that since Roots." After I said it everyone laughed and while I would never make fun of the plight of blacks during the slave era, it dawned on my what we joke about in person and how it pales to what is deemed insensitive in the media and on TV.
Finally, if you haven't seen Debbie from EHarmony aka the crazy cat girl, you must see it. I'm pretty sure it isn't real, but it's classic. The girl is actually kinda cute, which makes it all the better. Plus, in the first five seconds you're pretty sure she's going to flash her boobs, but trust me, it's better.
I officially rose at 7:32. I went to the bathroom and then shuffled down the steep staircase to the kitchen to feed the cat. He was happy and I presume we're "good." At least for today. I took his rubbing his neck against my ankle of a sign of solidarity. I made myself a large cup of coffee (there is no "Vente" in my world) and in a rare moment grabbed some food. I normally do not like to eat right after getting out of bed. I also never eat sweets in the morning. Today, I changed that and had a tiny slice of apple pie, which I then wrapped inside a slice of cheddar and a thick slice of ham. None of these things scream out delicious on their own, but combined had a complexity that can't be described. Nice snack to start my day.
Well I've been on a blog tear in the last two days, but it's really been a while since I've sat down and just listed some things that are on my mind. Some are serious, some are frivolous, and some are just inane. So here it is. Enjoy, scoff, or disregard, it doesn't bother me. This is more for me than for you. Although if you do choose to indulge, I hope you enjoy, or a least, get some insight into my inner workings.
Thankfully for Senator Wiener, he learned a valuable lesson from Brett Favre. Oh wait!
One Life To Live is being taken off the air. The show has been on for something like 50 years and has given single mom's pleasure in the hour before the kids got home for years. Inevitably it will be replaced with a daytime talk show. My suggestion is that they give Lady Gaga a talk show. She's trendy and despite her outlandish outfits, actually has a positive message.
If you love your kids, buy them a dictionary. I remember when I was a child I got one as a gift and was thrilled. I was thrilled, because in my mind I had every word at my fingertips. In retrospect, I'm thrilled because my parents cared about my intelligence. A misspelled word on a resume or an application can be the difference between getting a job or not. Don't trust the Internet, because it won't always be there for you.
There are so many charities out there, but may I make a plea to everyone to donate, as little as they want to charities such as Share our Strength and City Harvest. Restaurants throw out so much food, we at home are no better. Let's feed the hungry. It's the least expensive charity with the biggest reward per dollar. Please look at your loved ones and imagine them hungry.
Some people say I get nasty when I'm drunk. Some say I'm hilarious. Some say these two things on the same night.
I don't do drugs, but if I did, I would do peyote. Not that I want to hallucinate, but it is one of the few words that rhymes with coyote.
People that say that life is the most valuable gift you can give have obviously not seen that diamond skull.
When I drive by a cemetery and see all the headstones I'm in awe. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in the deserts in Egypt. It's like the worlds largest cemetery.
I was as happy as the next person when they killed Bin Laden, but not for the same reasons as everyone else. I looked at it financially. Do you know how much money it would have cost to "try" him?
I'm a poor manager of money. The other day, I was throwing out everything that was keeping me close to being called a hoarder. I found $2.74 on the floor. I had $2.35 in my savings account.
I have a friend, who is caring and only wants the best for me. She told me that something I was eating was bad for me and I shouldn't eat it anymore, because it will kill me. Later that week she jumped out of a plane.
I have another friend who said if I lost 100 lbs she'd sleep with me. I've lost 53 lbs in one year and on Tuesday I'm having my left leg removed. I guess I stumped her.
Why is it that the only women that ever hit on me are married or in a serious relationship and I'm the one guy who doesn't want to go there?
I wrote this on Facebook, but what's with college girls on the bus cuddling with Teddy bears? I think back to when I was that age, I'd have run away from girls like this. After sleeping with them of course. I just can't help but think that during sex, I'd have these weird menage a trois visions. It'd be like a cross between a porno and Where The Wild Things Are. Inevitably I'd ruin it by asking the girl to call me Max.
They recently came out with a whipped cream flavored vodka. This is quite nice, but I'm waiting for a mayonnaise flavored vodka. Speaking of Vodka, can someone Italian tell me if it's Penne Vodka or Penne a la Vodka? No Italian restaurants seem to be in agreement.
I saw a cab from Morningstar Taxi with a stencil on the side that read (no space where a letter might have been) Moningstar? I couldn't help but think that the driver was going to pull up wearing black face and call me Massa! This is not racist, this is a generalization of how blacks talked in slave days based on old films I've seen.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you are dating someone and they utter the words "I don't like films that are in black and white." You should run as fast as you can away from that person.
I had cold cuts three times for lunch this week. In the past three months I've had them two other times. It got me to thinking about the things I've avoided or neglected. I've sat down and eaten a bowl of pasta one time in the last two years. One of my favorite things in the world is escargot, but I've only had them once in about ten years (at the Kilt). I've eaten about four onions and three heads of lettuce in the last two weeks. I'm not supposed to eat either because of my gall bladder. I have only had Buffalo wings once since football season ended. I had them every week during. In the past two days, I've eaten half a quiche. I still feel like a man. I'm dead broke, but have a $200 gift card to Morton's. Cajun Rib Eye, here I come!
Being away from home makes me realize that there is nothing keeping me there. I adore my friends, but in the end, they are connected to their homes due to family or relationships. I have neither. It may be time for a change. I wish I had enough money to pick up and leave, but even then I'd probably just buy a round of shots and go back to my dreams.
I always wonder when I'm in the supermarket how many chickens there are in the world. You see whole chickens, breasts, drumsticks, legs, thighs, cutlets, wings. It's crazy. Then I realized that chickens don't wear condoms and they must all go to that College Inn Chicken Brothel.
Ithaca is a college town. Being in a college town during the summer is like watching a vampire movie that only takes place during the day.
You know how you have hot friends, but their friends are always hotter? Ever wonder what their friends look like?
Why is it that all the people I know who are huge homophobes are the ones I think are gay?
I kind of want there to be a football lockout. I want to hear my married friends excuses for still needing to go out on Sundays. "Honey, Michelle Kwan is making a comeback and the guys wanna see if she can nail the triple lutz this time around." "I always loved golf." Plus, tailgating sure will change.
It's funny how we take for granted horrific things we've seen on TV, even when they depict actual things that happened. The other day, while beating someone in a game called cornhole (it's not what you think, although you do end up with your beanbags close to the other hole), I said "there hasn't been a beating like that since Roots." After I said it everyone laughed and while I would never make fun of the plight of blacks during the slave era, it dawned on my what we joke about in person and how it pales to what is deemed insensitive in the media and on TV.
Finally, if you haven't seen Debbie from EHarmony aka the crazy cat girl, you must see it. I'm pretty sure it isn't real, but it's classic. The girl is actually kinda cute, which makes it all the better. Plus, in the first five seconds you're pretty sure she's going to flash her boobs, but trust me, it's better.
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