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First Thoughts: Waking To Insanity

Despite being an insomniac most of the time, I am a morning person.  I like to jump out of bed immediately and start my day.  What troubles me, is that my first thought of the day is usually one that not only makes me question my sanity, but at times, my love for my fellow man.  No jokes aside, the morning after the big vote on marriage equality, I awoke to a vision of a NY Post headline saying "Cuomo's Homos!"  That is pretty tame by my standards.  Usually, it isn't connected to a current even or even anything that might have been suggested the day or week before.  I am completely serious and I'm not making these up.  These are a list of the some of the first things that popped in my head as I lay in bed, eyes barely open to embrace a brand new day.  Some are sick, some are funny, some are just plain, wtf?

Michael J. Fox may be the first known serial killer to have the perfect alibi, because all his murders were a result of shaken baby syndrome.

Has anyone ever seen a squirrel at night?

Isn't the fact that eggs are traditionally eaten in the morning and chicken at night, somewhat end the which came first debate?

Why do single girls get so horny at weddings?

I can't be certain, but if I remember correctly, the oldest Von Trapp girl was kinda hot in the Sound of Music.

Why do people put Parmesan from a can or jar on red sauce when it does absolutely nothing to the flavor?

and here's what I woke to this morning - Why is it the mornings I can't sleep anyway, there are no birds chirping?


That's the sort of thing that pops in my head in the early am.  Not a craving for coffee and scones, not eggs and bacon or a desire to be on time for work.  No, I think about completely inane stuff, bordering on horrific at times. Well, there's a short list.  Time for some coffee.

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