Hop's Thoughts

Day 64: Why do people who always go to the same place say that they love to travel? I don't claim to have any love for travel, but I do like experiences. I like waking up in a new place, setting out without any list or brochure and just finding things. I remember, long before the internet going on vacation and getting into the car with my parents and not knowing where we were going, not sure when we'd be back and getting lost. Stopping for lobster or clams in a coastal town. Asking for directions, not to a town, to a destination, but to a highway. Sure we went back for a second summer, two years later and we went right instead of left and never once visited the same places. We swam in the same river at dusk and saw a few of the same faces, but the experiences changed every day, every summer. I've never understood how anyone can stay in the same house, in the same town, on the same beach, year in and year out and enjoy it as much as before? I did the Jersey shore two years i...

I always laughed as a child when someone would say "read between the lines." It always sounded so silly. As an adult, I can't stand cliches, sappy metaphors and overused catchphrases. I think that is my daily struggle. My educated friends have mastered reading, even skewing the lines, but true intelligence is all about viewing what lies between. Not metaphorically, but literally. Today I saw a very long post, filled with self righteousness and pride. The likes piled up and comments of support came from many, especially family members. I sat and read, then read again and again. I read until the lines no longer mattered and what was between them shined through. Apology, guilt, excuses for not being the person one wants to appear to be. A fake, fixing his mask like it's Halloween. The facade is well known and well documented. The chuckles come from all sides, even those closest. So many who are quick to judge also fall victim to the charms of those who seem so sincere. I...

Day 62: A Sunday, nobody will read this, so I can really get saucy on here. I could talk about my first sexual encounter or maybe that time I robbed a bank, got chased by cops and ended up dying while surfing the big one. I think I'll talk about simple things. Like appreciating what you have while you have it. I don't think I did this much of my life, but now with Facebook, it seems so much more important. Sometimes while I'm making a sandwich, I truly stop and think about how for so many, that moment would be the highlight of their week. I sit and sip coffee on a cool morning and despite all my physical woes, I can stand up and hobble to the pot for a second cup, while others rely on so many others. I don't want anyone to think this is meant to rain on anyone's parade, but when I see pictures of engagement rings, new cars, maybe even a new home, I wonder why it's posted. Sure, you've worked hard or you've found love, but shouldn't that be about ...

Day 60: I don't know what has me more worried, women who care about the movie 50 Shades of Grey or the ones who publicly admit to mentally demoralizing themselves by reading all three of the novels. This has nothing to do with the content, because Erotica is the number one selling genre among female readers. Yes, us dopey ass men can't visualize sex in our minds, which is why our idea of romance started with an ice cream and the backseat of a car. Women like to be mentally stimulated, which makes the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon even more disheartening. Not only was it poorly written and poorly edited, it's not even the least bit erotic to anyone with higher then a fourth grade education. I mean how many times can someone repeat "my inner goddess," before any self respecting woman throws the book against the wall? Listen, I myself read quite a few excerpts from this piece of trash, just to see what it was about and I can honestly say, I got a bigger boner ...

Whenever I am up in Ithaca, I get to truly relax, but I also get to reflect. This time has been much different, because I have some serious questions hanging over me and they are and will continue to have an enormous impact on my life. Those questions will not be asked on this page. What will be asked are questions I've found myself asking based on what I'm seeing from the world from afar.  I do not have answers I wish to share at this very moment, but they are things I will share in the future. If the world were to become blind, would your perception of beauty change? If a mother/wife who is surrounded by her family, continuously claims to be alone, are they really a mother/wife? Is it normal to rarely grieve? Think of the five people you know who have the most education. Now think of the five people who are most financially successful. I'm assuming right now, you have pretty much the same list. Now think of the five most intelligent people you know.  Any matches? ...

Trying to keep it light, because of because of what today means to me. We'll see how long that lasts. Day 58: Keeping it light, because of the heavy mo(u)rning. A few thoughts to get you through the struggles of life. I will admit that a few of these are adapted from other people's jokes, but I tried to make them original. Remember: It takes just one moment to show someone how much you love them, but indecent exposure charges vary by state. If you have a teenage son, hand him a Capri sun, if he's drinking that bad boy in less than five minutes, it's time for "the talk." If you have a daughter and her boyfriend can, might be a good time to tell him about that time you stabbed a man just to watch him die. The next time someone tells you that Facebook is stupid, bring up that time they were busy feeding their tamagochi. I'm 44, so this goes for people my age. Showing someone you care:  1974 - Card 1984 - Candy 1994 - Flowers 2004 - Jewelry T...

I love reading social media and seeing all the comments about a variety of topics regarding parenting. This parent is going to let their kid do this and this kid isn't. This parent thinks it's OK for their nine year old to have a cellphone and this one doesn't. This one thinks it's too early to have "the talk" and this one is a grandmother. It's fucking ridiculous. Who are you protecting your kids from anyway? Other places in the world, kids know about antisemitism at four and are ducking bombs, because they are Palestinian at three. Some are even dying. There are kids in our country who see fat kids at school eating donuts and slurping down soda, but don't understand why they haven't had a meal in two days. There are kids that see dad is in jail or mom has a black eye and they figure this stuff out.  So why do parents in suburbia think their kids can stay so pure? Everyone knows the average kid in the suburbs spends half their lives on the pho...

Day 57: There is nothing I get a bigger kick out of than people thinking their Facebook persona isn't really them and that people don't know the real them if they are basing it on status updates. When people come up to me and say "Hey, you're the opinionated, liberal-minded, insomniac jackass who thinks he knows good food, likes to party too much and is having problems with his landlord. Oh yeah, you also like to call everyone on their shit, but more often than not throw your own ass under the bus from time to time, aren't you?" i say, you missed "Die Hard Sox & Broncos fan, musically insane, honest to a fault, terminally lazy and suffering from more aches than you can imagine." They go, "hey, nice to meet you....please don't write anything about me you dick!" Then I tell them I can't make any promises and inevitably write about them without them realizing it's about them. So here's the deal all you ca...

Day 55: Never put off what you must do, but never choose what you need to do before doing what you want to do. If you are ever granted the opportunity to do that which makes you happy, regardless of whether or not it means delaying what needs to be done, grab that opportunity. Some will use the excuse that they are suffering now so they may enjoy the fruits of their labor at a later date. Now is guaranteed, later is not. Happy Sunday. Enjoy! #100DaysOfHopper Day 56: Water parks, theme parks, specialized camps depending on the sport or fad of the moment. Beachfront condos, oceanside resorts or gated communities. Instructors, teachers and so-caller directors. By plane, by boat & sometimes a limo. This is what constitutes a "normal" childhood summer these days. I wouldn't trade what I looked forward to for anything in the world. Sure, I went away and we did the vacation thing. Bacon and eggs, antiquing, hikes, museums, swimming in the lake and a ga...

Lately, I've strayed from the format of giving myself a time limit on these.  So tonight, I'm giving myself exactly three minutes and then I'm stopping...no matter what or where I am. The last three weeks has been spent in deep reflection. Relaxed and soothed by good food, great company and more sleep than I'm used to, I've been able to free my mind of what ails me, but the reality is that it is only multiplying. There may be changes on the horizon. Monumental changes in regards to my life, but they aren't all the changes I want. There is a realization that loneliness and depression are going to increase and that terrifies me, being that I'm not in the right place emotionally to take on that burden. That being said, I have my family and I have a minute group of friends, especially one, who has been there. I am excited about moving on, but I greatly fear it may be two steps back or more, before that step forward is taken.  I am also conceding victory and fo...

Here are some some lame, some obvious, some startling and some things you all should know to be facts that most don't. The first two are strictly my very strong opinion....the rest are facts that can be confirmed by research. It is becoming very hard to support Israel while it continues bombing Gaza. The state of American television & radio is the worst it has ever been. One in four Americans believes the sun revolves around the earth. Quinoia's popularity is decimating farmers and the environment in Peru and Bolivia. Pretend the number of Facebook friends are the US's population. Divide that by six and imagine six of your friends going to bed hungry every night. That is the state of hunger in the US. Since World War II, the national debt has risen by 4.8% per year under Democrats and 8.2% under Republicans. The average 16.9oz bottle of water sold in America is 2000x the cost of the same amount of tap water and twice as much as a gallon of gasoline. Obesi...

Day 54: Do some people just completely ignore their friend's posts? Complaining about a minor problem that happens to you once in a blue moon, that others struggle with every day of their lives, isn't only nonsensical, but somewhat inconsiderate and selfish. #100DaysOfHopper Day 54: When I was a kid, the best pizzeria in Brooklyn was right next door to an X-rated movie theater. The place had posters everywhere and the titles were raunchy as one would expect. Romancing the Bone was my favorite as a teen. Nobody thought twice about this being offensive, because it wasn't anything odd or unnatural. Today parents go ape shit if their kids see a pair of boobs on screen. Which probably leads to their kids having odd thoughts about the opposite sex and leads to fears and misconceptions, which in turn leads, most likely to sexual dysfunction and misogyny. We all know what that can turn into. When our generation was younger we played with fire crackers, lawn darts and sneaked ...

You ever want to write something, because you really can't put into words what you're going through? I wrote one blog about my apartment and deleted it, because I worry my words of anger might come back to haunt me. I wrote another about a situation I'm feeling that I deleted as not to anger someone I care about. Yet another was deleted as not to embarrass or compromise my relationship with someone. Lastly, I deleted a fourth, because it didn't seem fair to air my dirty laundry about things, I may in fact have a huge role in, but seem blinded by my own frustration. I am very open as anyone who has read this or actually knows me will tell, but the last few months have generated such negative emotions within me, about people I care about, that I'm at a loss for words. Something that has been a rare occurrence over the years. I'm not looking for sympathy, empathy, apathy or any other word ending with the letter "Y," but I am looking for a break. A break...

Day 52: People really need to open their eyes and stop this nonsensical defense of this moron reporter in NJ. The officers death is an immense tragedy and the neighborhood's reaction was disgusting, but the reporter's racist opinion should not be commended for its accuracy & courage. Had he committed race in his comments, he may still have a job, but would his comment have been any more righteous? No! I have signed petitions to have the memorial removed and have looked into what is being done for the officer's family, so don't think this is about being anti-cop, because you're wrong. This is about my mental fatigue from dealing with people and a society that feels racism in certain situations is ok. Don't forget when you write things in anger, that hate breeds hate. This outpouring of support for the officer is beautiful and I stand with you, but this outpouring of support for an ignorant reporter only increases the dissent that minorities h...

Day 50: I figured I'd write now, catching those early birds, so often scouring the net for some words or pics of inspiration. Despite my mockery, whether they be about relationships, fitness, family or connecting with God, they all contain one key element. The word(s) I, Me or You. They all convey selfish ideals to bring ones self to a better place, whether it be finding a partner, looking better in a bathing suit, having their family appreciate them or being somehow blessed by an omnipotent power. Each morning I wake to a barrage of these, many of my friends posting five, six or even seven. All, really nothing more than complaints, hidden in faith and hope for a better self and it makes me realize, that life, love and even faith is lost on these people, because a better you is only achieved by making those around you better. ‪#‎ 100DaysOfHopper‬ Day 51: While I know it's summer and some of you are frustrated, agitated, bored and angry that some of your friends ...

Day 47: Funny how I'm always being abused for my music choices. I've been playing Robin Thicke for ten years and then Blurred Lines comes out and everyone's a fan. I was playing Let's Dance before anyone knew what a Gaga was and I got ridiculed for playing an Elton John cover by this girl named Ellie. But because I don't like the hipster trinity of DMB, Vampire Weekend & Arcade Fire (btw, even hipsters can't stand DMB anymore), I don't know music. Yes, I genuinely like the Spice Girls, Hanson & Justin Timberlake, but I was saying Justin Timberlake was the most talented performer on the planet in 2002. But what do I know? #100DaysOfHopper Day 48: How much do we really care about our friends, our family and our loved ones? My guess would be a lot. But what about when they resort to Facebook for attention, good or bad? Do we take their cries for help or their claims of bliss as seriously? I joke often about people claiming the world is ...

Too tired to concentrate on film or a book, but wasting away, reading misspelled and incorrect words, damaged relationships, sadness abound. I sit, possibly worse off than most, but yet I stifle it. Hidden under a robust smile and glassy eyes. The torture of reality, feels like lashes on my soul.  I drop hints, like bait, but there isn't a nibble. Sharing my secret with a few, for no reason other than to share; at times a common bond. The little girl next door whistling, calling for her cat to come home. It's midnight and she can't be more than ten. Alone in a big world, riding her bike by day, searching endlessly by night. Her cat, her companion. Too young to be living in this solitude and yet I envy her. Free from judgement. Riding her bike, playing in the dirt, sitting alone, contemplating a future I pray is brighter than mine. I gaze at photographs, the smile big and bright as I run naked through the weeds, contracting ever so slightly with each passing year. No fault b...

I moved in 1985 and I stayed in touch with nobody.  I'm not blaming anyone, because I'm the one that moved and it was on me to keep those relationships alive. I reconnected with a few on Facebook, but that is it. I've spent a lot of time in Ithaca over the last four years. Much of it spending time with my aging grandmother, but also, because my father is one of the few people in the world who I enjoy spending long periods of time with.  Over the years, he and my grandmother have taught me a lot about the world, myself and how people act within it. Over the last few, I've grown a lot as a person mentally, but I've grown apart from relationships and friendships and I see that today more than ever.  The past ten days I've been in Ithaca and my birthday passed, while I was here. It dawned on me the morning after, that while I received plenty of wishes via Facebook, I only received about ten texts and not a single phone call. Not one. I'm not losing any sleep...

Day 46: With summer in full swing, I hope all of you able bodied friends take full advantage of what's out there. Especially those of you with kids. Without beating the drum for my own personal pity party, I'm asking you all not to take your ability to enjoy life for granted. Physical limitations not only deprive the body, but they wear on the mind. People who are lucky enough to only read my ba nter and not have to deal with me in the physical world, might not realize that things aren't as they once were. No longer am I the chiseled Adonis you once knew, but a doughy , limp-legged, much larger shell of my former self. Think of Humpty Dumpty with a lot more yolks and a lot more jokes. I currently sit in ithaca, enjoying the serenity, but surrounded by paths, waterfalls and swimming holes, I don't get to enjoy. Wineries, farms and markets, that I'd love to.peruse, but pain ruins their wonders. A bustling little city, praised for its activism, commu...

Day 44: Serious question: Isn't Yoga, Cross fit, Running, Spartan Races and simply going to the gym supposedly a great stress release? Just asking, because all the people that bore the **** out of us with these posts always seem to follow it up with negative, misinformed posts throughout the day. How about you take a little of your early morning feel the burn time off and read a book, maybe over a cup of chamomile tea and exercise the only muscle that really matters. Quite possibly, your mood, chi, Zen or Namaste or whatever you call your "state," might improve on the inside and do more than simply garner likes from friends on Facebook. #100DaysOfHopper Day 44 Part 2: (Told you I was ready) Why the hell are the same morons (yes, some of my friends are really dumb) who believe that guns don't kill people, people kill people, the same ones ranting and raving about the parents leaving their kids or pets in cars? They are using arguments like "you ...

Day 42: Some people think I just pick and choose people to go after, when the reality is actually the complete opposite. I wanted to write about someone of low intelligence who keeps beating the same drum, thinking it would sink in after a while that he might be wrong. I wanted to point out how disturbed I was to find so many pictures of the recent holidays showing children holding sparklers, whic h burn at over 1100 degrees. I wanted to ask people who go to concerts, the reasoning and their enjoyment in taking two thousand pictures. Who are they for? You were there, aren't your memories sufficient? I worry about senility too, but a photo of every song doesn't really make sense to me. I wanted to rip to shreds the numerous idiots who take pictures from their drivers side seats (I still might). All these things I wanted to do, in great detail, but didn't want this to become about one or two individuals. So I'll talk about friendship. I recently stated ...

Forty-Four years old they tell me, but I feel like I'm 90 physically, 35 mentally and the maturity of a 7 year old. I guess if you took an average, it's pretty damn near spot on. I never thought it would be like this. Playing basketball with friends, grabbing beers and asleep by midnight only to wake early and bust my ass all day. Coaching kids, making new friends, falling in and out of love.  It was life as it should be.  No worries they said. You'll learn from your mistakes. Life is a long journey. Blah Blah Blah. Changes. Sickness. Injuries. Death. Relocation. Unemployment. Mistakes. Contentedness. Lethargy. Happiness. Sadness. Pain. For nearly half my life, I've been in limbo. Confused by what I think I want and what I really want. What I think I need and what I really need. What I think is right and wrong for me and what is actually right and wrong for me. I've made a few wise decisions, but in the end, it's been a series of poor decisions.  I've al...

  Day 40: As we all try to fit back into our pants after a day of overeating and drinking, let's all take a moment to be thankful for what we have. Whether or not you feasted or not, if you have the ability to read this, you're better off than most people in the world. Remember that always. Facebook was relatively quiet yesterday, for obvious reasons. Most put down their phones long enough to look at the person talking to them, hold their nieces and nephews and to shovel copious amounts of food into their face. Not all though. Some treated it as any other day. Posting horror stories of battered dogs, hate crimes and an absolutely insane number of posts about kids left in overheated cars. Which had me scratching my head. Who are these posts for? Are you sharing them for educational value? If so, can you let me know which parent you believe might do this, so I myself can call CPS. Are you posting them for the sake of relaying news you think is important?. If so, ...

Day 39: Happy Independence Day to a land that is more dependent now than it has ever been, due to the inequality our system has created. Our "great" nation torn apart by two parties who can not comprehend the philosophies of our forefathers and who, like religious pontificators, imbed their own personal values while defining its terms to the lazy and less informed. I spent the early morning reading the letters of Thomas Jefferson, one of our nation's brightest minds and one of our founding fathers. A man, who I assume by all of us, is held with high esteem and reverance. A man, who is undoubtedly the most misquoted and misunderstood of our founding members. A man, with such insight, that he not only prepared the text that would become the blueprint for our nation's government, but also quite accurately predicted its failures. As we celebrate our nation's "birthday" and our two parties fight, neglecting our needs; we have one who misinterprets each an...

Day 38: Funny how the world sees me lately. I am for women's rights to choose, despite my personal feelings on abortion. I am for marriage equality, despite thinking the act is flawed I am for pay equality, despite having a past coworker make the same as me, in a similar job, yet she did half the work. I am for immigrant's rights to health care and education, despite thinking our border patrol is the single biggest problem in our country. I am for freedom of religion, despite thinking any man made deity or book is absolute horseshit. I am for freedom of speech, despite the fact that 140 million Americans are less than average intelligence. I despise Racism. I despise Prejudice. I despise Homophobia. I despise bigotry on any level. I believe everyone deserves the level of respect they give others and even though it pains me, I usually show more to others than they show me. I believe debate is the healthiest form of conversation, because you learn more about a topic, the situatio...

Day 36: Just three simple questions. I don't expect replies, but just throwing them out there. I'm on a bus and nobody is speaking to each other. Nobody is even looking at anyone. I see you older woman trying to converse with the bus driver and he's ignoring her. When did we all stop being social? Knowledge of religion tells us that faith is a personal relationship between and individual and th eir chosen higher power. Advertising ones faith, whether it be in print, vocally or adorning oneself with tattoos or jewelry is actually frowned upon by most religions. So, why do people post religious memes and quotes on Facebook and who exactly is it for? With age comes responsibility, family, work, etc. That being said, if Facebook has taught us anything it's that we have way too much time on our hands. Yet that time is spent on a phone, computer, in front of a TV. Why, when spare time is supposedly lessened, does it seem like our day to day lives are so mun...