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#100DaysOfHopper Day 15 -19 (sort of) Facebook deletes a lot of stuff

Day 16: Remember when you were a teenager and your parents did that one thing that sent chills down your spine? You know that single moment of horror, where you wished you'd never been born, because you thought everyone was going to tease you. That moment when they would pull out the album and show embarrassing photos of you naked in the sink, walking in high heels (boys), picking your nose, etc etc. Remember how much that sucked?

Yeah, so about this posting your child's entire life on Facebook. While I admit it too, I love seeing your children grow up, the repercussions of having your life an open book is potentially traumatizing. Not a day goes by where a child star isn't pictured on social media, sulking somewhere, appearing to have hit that rock bottom we hear about so often. When confronted later on in life, almost all point to the lack of personal space and privacy. These are children who made lots of money and are arguably set for life.

So how will this affect our generation's Facebook stars? How is the child coping with adolescence going to cope knowing that everyone who knows them, saw them crying over nothing on vine or playing in the tub. How about the kids who are struggling with esteem issues or sexual identification? Can you imagine internally seeing yourself as one of the boys, but constantly having to see yourself in that silly dress with the pigtails? Or that little league picture your parents titled "our little slugger," forgetting you didn't have a hit in two years and the mere mention of baseball stirs up horrible memories.

But what if it's deeper? What if the constant photos and mentions of your happiness isn't reality. What if your child sees you and your spouse fight every day? What if they are the target of abuse and you use social media to mask it, because you are ashamed? What if you think you're honest and post "Joe's not a happy camper," while he's truly at the brink and your advertising his sorrow isn't a cure?

Family photos, videos and such have been around for years and I'm not saying most kids will be negatively affected, but it might be wise to look back before posting. I think about my adolescence and how due to skipping a grade, I had huge physical insecurities, which led to me hating, even today, being photographed. I think about how at 43, I despise photographs due to my rosacea, but I'm expected in today's selfie world, to accept it.

I spend so much time worrying about how people view me, because of something I can't control. I think of that child, who didn't feel comfortable or happy that one day, but because of that one Facebook picture, has to relive that traumatic day over and over, while adults who don't understand, laugh and laugh about it.

Think about that one thing that haunts you and maybe something as simple as the shirt you were wearing, stirs up those memories. Now imagine it's public property. Maybe it's still a secret, but maybe your insecurities don't allow you that logic or ability to accept it. Now imagine others enjoying it. I know from my experiences working with kids, not all can handle that. Think first before posting every second of your child's life. Without being over dramatic, it might save it. #100DaysOfHopper


 Day 19: I think the next time I hear someone talk about how much they love their mother, I'm going to follow them around for a week and watch how they treat other women. Maybe I've turned into a full blown feminist, but I can't recall one day where I haven't seen a handful of men disrespecting women. What troubles me even greater is the acceptance of this behavior by both the other men present and of the subject of this behavior themselves.

Not every woman thinks you are "the one," just because you have a penis. Trust me, when you meet an empowered woman, you'll soon realize, that might be the only thing she needs you for and that can be quite a wake-up call. Women also don't need your hand on their hip or below to have a conversation with you. While it might be cute if you're in a relationship, it projects poorly on her to others, even if it is consensual. Would you want someone's hand on your mother's ass, even dad's, out in public? I doubt it. So why is it ok for you to do?

I could go on and on, but here's a simple rule. If you wouldn't speak in the way you speak to women to your mother or sister, stop. If you wouldn't appreciate your mother or sister being groped by their beau in public, don't do it. If you'd be willing to kill someone for raising a hand to them, don't do it to your love. If you would be devastated if your girl cheated on you, don't feel it's a different set of rules for you.

You don't need to love someone to show them respect. I might not even know your mother or sister, but I know that if I met them, I'd treat them like I'd treat my own and how I'd expect anyone else to. #100DaysOfHopper

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