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#100DaysOfHopper Day 57

Day 57: There is nothing I get a bigger kick out of than people thinking their Facebook persona isn't really them and that people don't know the real them if they are basing it on status updates. When people come up to me and say "Hey, you're the opinionated, liberal-minded, insomniac jackass who thinks he knows good food, likes to party too much and is having problems with his landlord. Oh yeah, you also like to call everyone on their shit, but more often than not throw your own ass under the bus from time to time, aren't you?" i say, you missed "Die Hard Sox & Broncos fan, musically insane, honest to a fault, terminally lazy and suffering from more aches than you can imagine." They go, "hey, nice to meet you....please don't write anything about me you dick!" Then I tell them I can't make any promises and inevitably write about them without them realizing it's about them.

So here's the deal all you caped crusaders; what you put down for the world to see is you. If 90% of your posts are about your job sucking, we assume your job not only sucks, but the misery it causes is spilling over into your social world. been there, done that, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you value materialistic things more than peace of mind, you'll continue down this path, develop stress related disorders and eventually die young from some ailment you didn't see coming. Don't worry, none of your misery laden Facebook posts will be included in your eulogy. We'll do what we always do and forget that you were an alcoholic womanizer and talk about the great dad you were.

Listen, if you go to an event and you post every six seconds and complain about everyone around you, we're assuming you're not there to see the band or the team, but to let people know that your life isn't as sad as it seems online. Sure we're completely tricked by your smiling selfie, but your obsession with getting a picture of the fat fan singing the wrong words or sleeping at the game, tells us you're really not that into the same thing the other observers are there for. And when there are more posts about the commute to and from the arena than those retelling of your experience, please spare us the philosophical babble about it being about the journey. We all know you'r(e) not that bright anyway,

I know more about people's real self from Facebook than I do from real life. When I sit and listen to someone call another every name in the book and then two hours later see that they are best friends, hanging out at some random meat market on a "girl's night," I know more than any words in person can express. If I spent five years hearing about someones despicable behavior and see you arm and arm with the caption "best person ever," please save me the explanation when we run into each other.

There are people out there and here who truly do not like me, because I have no problem calling people on their shit. In return, I expect nothing less from them and let me tell you, it's liberating to have someone say some of the shit a few of you have thrown my way. I take it personally and it makes me better, whether it's positive or negative, as long as it's true.

So for all you people who think this Facebooking is silly and doesn't matter, I suggest you go back and delete the five straight days of boss bashing, husband hating and magnificent friend MF'ing, because people read it. As I told you once before, a complete stranger made an education diagnosis of my life a while back and she was on the money. She hit a bulls eye and said that my negativity over a given weekend had changed her view of me and she wanted to distance herself from having to see it, because she liked the person she knew and wanted to keep it that way. We parted ways, but still comment on each others tweets from time to time and their is no animosity. You know why? Because she based her feelings on the only thing she knew and that's what I chose to share. And she was right. #100DaysOfHopper

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