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#100DaysOfHopper Day 27-29

Day 27: i realize this won't be popular with my more thin-skinned friends, but hey, it's my honest feeling.

Kids are soft. Kids don't understand what hard work is. Kids don't know what struggles are. They get participation trophies. They get awards for everything these days. They....

Above is what I read all the time. Sometimes from people with kids, sometimes from those without. So it's June and that can only mean one thing: Graduation, moving up and other promotional type posts and pics. You know what I got after kindergarten? A bunch of books to read. 3rd grade? More books. 5th grade? You got it, books. 8th grade? A shaving cream fight and then a big ole piece of paper called a summer reading list. No fanfare. No "diploma." No party. Did I have mean parents? No. Did I go to some crazy school that frowned upon ceremony? No. I grew up in a time and in a place where accomplishing what is expected is not a cause for celebration. Today, that has changed.

Now, I'm all for a good party and I truly believe in positive reinforcement, but 5th grade graduation? 8th grade graduation? Kindergarten graduation? How about we start giving out caps and gowns every Friday for getting through the week? Although with all these school shootings, that might be a good idea. That discussion is for another time.

I'm not saying parental pride isn't wonderful, but this constant fanfare for fake achievement is getting out of hand. Unless you're dodging bullets from drive-bys, dealing with hunger pains due to poverty or battling illness, getting from one grade to the next is not an achievement, it is expected. Oh yeah, it's also the law until a certain age.

While I love my friends and their kids and I myself beam with pride when I hear of honor rolls and president's lists, I think the pomp and circumstance bestowed on these kids is ridiculous. This, in my opinion, is why stress related illnesses and suicides are on the rise. Imagine for yourself, had you been praised like this your entire childhood and didn't get into the school of your choice. Didn't get that job. Didn't get the girl of your dreams. I know if I had been coddled the way kids are today, I'd have folded when adversity struck. It's a poor message.

Love your kids, teach them well, pick them up when you can, but for their own good, stop praising everything. One day that praise is going to stop and the reality that they haven't really done anything quite as spectacular as they thought is going to hit. When it does, your constant praise might actually be the one thing that hurts them the most. #100DaysOfHopper


 
Day 28 Part 2: Do you ever think about the people you would consider your best friends and those you consider just friends? Then a series of random, unconnected events happen and you step back, realizing you might have had it backwards in your head.

Overcome by joy and sadness this weekend, with both instances making me think, Who would be there for me in those situations? Realizing my emotions were stronger for friends than for "better" friends dealing with good and bad. Truly made me reexamine relationships.

I've also come to the conclusion that people that tell everyone that they love them are incapable of loving anyone, but themselves. I think people think because I'm a guy, I'm a joker and usually seem happy on the outside, that I don't get hurt. Telling me you love me and miss me one day and not thinking one of my true friends will tell me you're badmouthing me to anyone who will listen. Lying about my actions and my words. You can hurt me with words or even physical violence and I will forgive you, but betray my trust? You, my dear old best friend are now nothing more than an acquaintance. #100DaysOfHopper


Day 29: Life is precious. It's so cliche, but we take for granted so many of the little things, that when they become difficult, we crumble. I've watched loved ones deteriorate due to age, senility and disease. I feel lucky, as they are all common, almost natural events that we can somewhat prepare for. What if these things are sudden? What if your or a loved one's ability to do this or that changes overnight? How would you react?

One year ago, I used to go for walks to clear my head in the middle of the night. Today, the pain I feel is too great. It's so bad, I can't tie my right shoe without taking it off. I'm lucky. I recently found out a friend's brother was in a car accident. It is serious and while I don't know the specifics and not wanting to speculate, his life will change drastically. I'm not a prayer person, but my heart goes out to him and his family. Nobody is prepared for this. Nobody wakes up in the morning and says, this is the last day I walk or talk or in the most extreme cases, live. I won't even pretend to know how he or those around him feel. I just hope, from the bottom of my heart that he can one day do all the things we all, even he I assume, take for granted. #100DaysOfHopper

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