Hop's Thoughts

So the snow fell and the power went out.  To be perfectly honest, I didn't expect it to be as bad as it was.  I had planned an evening of bouncing around, checking out some Halloween costumes, then off to bed, with the hopes of a full day of football.  Then the lights went out.  I went out to see if any of my watering holes were open to shed some light on the evening, but the signs all read "closed."  I came back to the dark confines of my apartment and quickly my phone died and then my computer, my lone source of light, started to fade.  I turned it off and laid in bed.  For five hours, I sat in sheer darkness.  Alone, like so many other nights, with my thoughts. I thought about how maybe a mile away, a young girl sips her vodka and tonic as a man across the bar stares, wondering what she might be like in bed.  How an older couple, decided to hop in the car and take refuge at a restaurant with hopes the power might be on when they came hom...

OK, this will probably irritate or embarrass some, but I have hit the wall on ideas for my blog.  So I've decided to go back to Sunday morning and look at all the people who took time to comment on my Facebook wall and I'm going to comment on all of them.  I'll keep their last names hidden, but it will be obvious who they are.  If you are offended by anything I write, ask me to take it off and I will.  Other than that, here it is.  In order of posts. Susanne - a good friend from years back.  Someone I actually liked a lot back in the day, but she was dating a friend of mine at the time.  Haven't seen her in years, but still consider her a good friend. Christina - wise beyond her years. If I was 15 years younger or she was 15 years older, I'd definitely try and make her boyfriend fall in front of a car (JK, Justin).  Very intelligent, which means she'd probably argue with me and then dump  me anyway.  Thank goodness she's too young! ...

I know people are tired of hearing about my relationship and job woes.  I'm tired of hearing about them.  I also think people are probably thinking I'm obsessed with politics, but the reality is I'm not.  I just hate all the random posts that aren't true.  I'd defend the opposite of my beliefs if I believed it to be true.  I have learned a few things over the last few weeks and for the sake of time, I'm going to list them....as I'm known to do.  In no order, here they are. Despite not being someone I normally hang out with.  Despite being older.  Despite having more pressing issues with their own life.  I realized that someone I see often, but sometimes take for granted is one of my best friends in the world.  No matter where I am in my life. A five year old child, who I have only met four times in my life, is the person that brings me the most happiness in my life.  His innocent exuberance towards everything is so refreshing. ...

So Halloween falls on a Monday this year, but you want to celebrate the entire weekend with a film festival of scary flicks.  Well, you can get anything, but I think there are some essentials and some rules to follow.  One is that the movies can't just be scary.  They have to have some scary character that couldn't technically looks like anyone you know.  For this reason, movies like Jaws and Pan's Labyrinth, while great, aren't really this holiday's theme. People who go crazy are good, but not realistic enough.  We need someone behind a mask or in some sort of disguise. So the Omen, The Shining, and Audition are out.  Van Helsing has all the characters associated with horror, but it is pretty much fluff, so it's out too.  So are Candyman, Hellraiser and Phantasm because the majority of them just aren't that scary.  So let's go with five movies.  Double features on Friday and Saturday and a solo flick to top it off Sunday.  This will get...

I haven't written a blog in a few days.  It's not because I don't have anything to say, it's actually the opposite.  I wrote a blog the other night and it was about a few things.  It was about my being out of work and the pain it causes me when I talk to people making $100,000+ a year who can barely put a sentence together.  It was about about friends whose indiscretions I have let slide and how it's come back to bite me in the ass.  It was about the rampant infidelity running around the Eastchester area and the Catch-22 it puts me in.  Do I lose a friend to do what's right?  And at the end of the day, is it right?  I also wrote about my botched recent relationship and the differing opinions on what went wrong and my inability to make it right.  I spoke about my recent political debates, both in person and online that sometimes get heated, but always respectful, until one person decided to call me out on Facebook and make it personal.  T...

"In a soulmate we find not company but a completed solitude." ~Robert Braul I recently found this quote by chance, at a time I was sitting alone thinking about my future and how much time will be spent in some form of solitude.  I've always been someone who cherishes their alone time.  I revel in it.  I also know the importance of human interaction and especially on an emotional level.  It dawned on me that being alone has its advantages, but the disadvantages highly outweigh them.  The other night, I stopped out for some Chinese food.  I had ordered it and arrived at the restaurant a little earlier than anticipated.  As I sat and waited for mine, I saw person after person walk in.  They all received their tiny single servings and were off.  Nobody made eye contact.  There was a young heavy set woman in her 20's.  A gentleman in his late 50's.  A very attractive woman in her late 40's.  A few others were less noticeable....

This morning I had to go to the IRS office in White Plains.  I had waited til the last minute and had to get my stuff done by the end of the business day.   The office opens at 8:30, so I wanted to get there in the morning.  Here is a detailed report of the (odd) day. 8:25 - walking up hill to bus stop.  See bus leaving.   Story of my life. 8:30 -  girl walks up and reads bus schedule which says the next bus is at 8:34.  She asks "how long ago did the last bus leave?"  I say five minutes.  She says "you sure?" 8:34 - get on bus and pay with 22 dimes and a nickel.  8:35 - woman gets on bus.  Stands in front and laughs to herself until she gets off three stops later. 8:39 - woman gets on wearing plaid mini skirt, white button down shirt (aka school girl look).  She has a huge baby bump.  All I hear in my head is "oops I did it again." 8:42 - A Spanish girl get on the bus with arguably the nicest skin I've ever se...

Adultery:  I think while this is much more prevalent than anyone wants to admit, I think it's differently viewed.  Men who cheat on their wives always seem to say they are bored or their wives aren't sexy any more.  Women say their husbands aren't romantic anymore.  Men who cheat with married women, always say that they woman came after them.  Women who cheat with married men, usually go after the man, because they want sex with no strings.  They always justify this behavior with "I'm not the one who is cheating." Bargains:  A guy sees something he doesn't need that normally costs $50, but is on sale for $25, he will buy it.  A female sees something she doesn't need that normally costs $50, but is on sale for $25, she will buy two of them. Coffee:  Men get coffee to wake up or to drink something with a bagel/donut.  Women think it's an event. Driving:  Men drive too fast and sometimes get into accidents.  Women think driv...

A friend of mine says "Happy Days" every time he makes a toast.  I like this toast.  To me, it says, here's to our time together and to many more.  May they be always as good or better than this .  Sometimes they are, but sometimes they are not.  Recently, someone told me that I was a miserable person.  That I'm always down. I look down.  I act down.  Basically, I bring people down who are around me.  They went on to say that I wasn't this person a short time ago.  This is true. I'm an emotional person.  The good times make me high on life and the downs make me retreat like a turtle hiding in its shell.  In the past month, a combination of things have gotten to me.  Many contribute to bad moods, bad decisions and all these things contribute to bad days.  It's a vicious cycle that I thought conquering one demon might cure.  It hasn't helped one bit.  I'm realizing now that the demon I'm fighting isn't one a...

So last night I'm sitting at one end of the bar and a woman sits down to the right of me and a man joined her soon after.  I had just received my Eastchester burger and was ready to chow down.  As I took the first bight a conversation broke out that was pretty entertaining, if for now other reason than the guy turned out to be the most egotistical douchebag I've ever listened to.  No, the guy was not me.  Thanks though.  So for the dialogue, I will list the man as D, for douche bag and W for the woman.  D: I can't believe you.  You obsess over everything. It doesn't even matter.  Nothing you ever get like this over matters.  I don't care.  Nobody cares.  It's stupid.  W: OK, drop it. D:  Oh now you're mad.  You're mad at me?  It's my fault?  OK, it's my fault. The woman then spoke for about 30 seconds in a low voice which I couldn't pick up.  This gem followed. D: Nobody in this town is as big...

Last night, someone told me I'm miserable.  I'm crazy, bordering on bi-polar.  I'm always unhappy and I am so worried what people say about me that I don't realize that not everyone is talking or doing something behind my back.   While I disagree with all the above statements, being out of work, dealing with some outside stressors out of my control and generally always thinking about others well being before my own has made me less than thrilled about the current state of my life.  That being said, I decided to make a short list of the things that have made me happy in the past month. Being back at the school in the afternoons with the kids.  Smiles are infectious. Speaking to my grandmother the other day.  She sometimes says things that can be viewed as hurtful, but her honesty warms me.  I'm not like you.  A sugar cookie and a pat on the head isn't what I need. Being told to get off your ass and find a new job and a new girlfriend is fa...

Watched a movie called Bug tonight.  Starred Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon and Harry Connick, Jr.  At first Bug seems like a simple story about a lonely girl who is desperate for companionship and fears her ex-husband who has just been released from prison.  Then it becomes a bit of a sad love story about two broken people in search of something to fill a void.  It soon turns into a psychological horror movie.  In the end we see, the disintegration of two people's grip on reality and the affects of paranoia.  The movie doesn't truly fit into one genre, so it's hard to categorize.. On the outside it's a simple story about how people's need to believe in something can manifest itself into a psychosis, but when you really watch carefully, it's a sad tale about how being alone can affect one's life.  We all want to feel something.  Some of us resort to drugs or inflicting pain on ourselves just to know we're alive.  Some of us find love or a hob...

Have you ever thought back to things from your childhood that now make no sense at all?  They could be anything, but as time goes on, they seem to make less and less sense.  Listed below are a few things from the late 70's/Early 80's that truly make no sense now that I am older. Bubble Gum Cigarettes - what the fuck were people thinking?  This is why everyone I know smokes. Slinky - fun for about a minute. Etch-a-Sketch - yeah I sucked at it too. Light Bright - making things with light...and then choking on the pieces. Cap Guns - They would break immediately and then you'd bash the caps with a rock an get burned. Silly Putty - yeah, look at the comic on my silly putty.  Yeah, can I take a nap now? Alphabet Soup - still around, but this was always like a word jumble for maniacs. Remote Control Racetrack - did these ever work for more than Christmas morning? Shrinky Dinks - let's use the oven while mom is upstairs cleaning.  Many a house was burn...

I'm a going to start an ongoing blog and will update it about once or twice a week with the new qoutes and repost it on Facebook and Twitter.  I wish I had done this years ago, especially for two years when I had this kid who every week said something so incredibly outrageous that even the other kids in the class couldn't wait for what he would say. That being said, the all-time classic was when I was working at summer camp and I had just returned from a night off and was laying in bed.  The kids were whispering and one kid said "Jon is really cool.  He's like my dad.  Only difference is my dad doesn't go out and get drunk every other night." Week 1 Me: Nice to meet you I'm Jon Hopper. Parent: I know I'm Nate's mother. Me: Oh sorry, I knew you looked familiar. Parent:  Nate loved your class and talked about it all summer. (Nate is not in my class this year) Michael (1st Grade) (talking to his friends babysitter): I lost my jacket. baby...

I love going to the supermarket.  I love the looks I get when they see a single guy actually buying food that doesn't come in a box (aside from my new favorite pizzas).  I love doing things in the supermarket that make people notice me.  I don't make a scene like the mother who was yelling at her kid at the top her voice today, because he didn't want to be there.  I don't wear clothing that makes me look like a photo op from the peopleofwalmart.com.  I don't do anything over the top, but I do enjoy myself.  I like to stare at people, preferably younger women, while I squeeze produce. I like to stand right behind people and wait for them to move, even though I can go around them.  if they question it, I say, I didn't want to cross the imaginary double yellow line. I like to stand by the frozen food section and hold the Ore-Ida french fries and make Slingblade comments in the Billy Bob Thornton voice. I like to read the nutritional information ou...

I rarely discuss this, but I think it's relevant in my life right now.  I've mentioned it once before in a blog, but it wasn't really a huge part of the piece.  I discussed it today with someone and it's something I've thought about recently and possibly have come to a realization about myself and one of my true faults.   It's through thinking, reflection and time alone that many things come to us.  Sometimes the act of sitting or laying in the dark with no companionship other than our own thoughts, that we arrive at conclusions about ourselves that we may never have realized.  I don't know when this hit me, but it's definitely in my mind now, as I struggle with the imminent loss of something desired. When I was 9, possibly just turned 10, my parents adopted a baby girl.  I loved my sister dearly and she was the highlight of my life.  Every day I fed her, I held her and I kissed her.  I fantasized about her growing up and me protecting her ...

These are the best fortune cookies ever! I hate Sunday Brunch. I love Thanksgiving, just wish there was more food. (Referring to starving kids in Africa) - I wish I could be that skinny, but without all the flies and stuff.  _ oh wait, Mariah Carey actually said this. Wow, your kid really isn't very cute. Smoking pot makes me feel smarter. Goldschlagger is the champagne of cordials. That's a beautiful spray on tan.  It looks so natural. Sarah Palin...now that's one bright woman. I don't think Casey Anthony did it. I can't believe they took Cop Rock off the air so soon. Josh Hartnett will win an Oscar one day. Rosie O'Donnell is one hot mama. I read the NY Post because I want to appear smarter than everyone else. A-Rod is so clutch. Today's a nice day for removing wallpaper. I'm half Greek/half Turkish (OK this might be possible). Ah, Monday, can't wait to get to work. I find Facebook and Twitter make me much more p...

1.  Steve Jobs was the most beloved human being alive....once he was dead. 2.  The more you care about people (and don't read into this and think it's only about you) the less they care.  The more you ignore them, the more they crave your love and affection, the more you do for them, the more years you devote to them, the more you show them you care, the less likely they are to respond when you need them. 3.  Yankees fans are the loudest and most devout fans in the world....for varying amounts of weeks in October...only! 4.  In the last six months, I think I've missed some sign of Facebook flirting.  All these people are now taken and seem to have serious concerns about my well being.  Either I misread these signs initially and am realizing to late or I know even less about women than I originally though. 5.  I do not need therapy.  Therapy is for those who have trouble expressing their feelings and have hidden demons.  I have a ...

The is only in jest...I realize there are holes in my theory. I have tried fad diets and while I truly believe that Atkins fellow was on to something, I still have an issue with a diet that supports the use of bacon as a healthy snack.  I once lost 34 lbs in 3 months on Atkins with a healthy diet of eggs and bacon, cheese, burgers, steaks and Absolut Mandarin.  I realized this wasn't healthy when I couldn't remember not eating. So, I'm switching gears and I've come up with the ultimate inexpensive diet.  I will watch as the pounds melt away.  My diet will also include two cheat breakfasts, two cheat lunches and two cheat dinners.  The breakfasts will include bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches or bagels with cream cheese.  The lunches will consist of sandwiches of lettuce, tomato, avocado and cheese or peanut butter.  The dinners will include pretty much anything on the Piper's Kilt, Burrito Poblano or East Bamboo menus (Chop Stix is an option if I g...

For a dear friend Sometime later today, a good friend of mine is going to a memorial service for her best friend, Johnnie Mac.  I never met John, but from what I can gather, he was a special person.  He was a friend and a great person.  On one visit to Cavalry, she had to give way to players from his hockey team who wanted to see their coach.  She cried.  She visited him frequently during his short stay and treasured those final days.  He left this world, those kids and his friend too soon.  He didn't have a choice. Cancer rarely let's us decide how long we can stick around.  My mother and both my friend's parents were taken by the disease.  We all have lost people to this awful disease and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.  Every time there is a lull in life, someone else's seems to be cut short from this disease.  It never fails.  I remember the morning my friend found out.  It was the first time I saw her...

In the last two weeks I've been traveling the clean and sober road.  While probably not as exciting as the drunk and stupid road, I have had some insights.  Pretty much I've learned (or finally recognized a few things along the way) a few things.  Being I'm in a bit of a rush, I'm going to list them instead of elaborate on them.  Especially since elaborating on the issues has been one of the issues affecting me.  So while hardly exciting, here is what I have learned. 1.  I am not an alcoholic, despite what my writings have shown.  I let drinking affect friendships and motivation recently, but they were for the most part misunderstandings and things are back to normal. 2.  Most of you girls are right.  Pro Football is painfully boring if you aren't hammered and covered in wing sauce. 3.  True friends reach out in times of needs.  Those that don't.  Well. 4.  Don't ever try to be someone you're not while drinking, be...