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Have These Ever Been Said?

These are the best fortune cookies ever!

I hate Sunday Brunch.

I love Thanksgiving, just wish there was more food.

(Referring to starving kids in Africa) - I wish I could be that skinny, but without all the flies and stuff.  _ oh wait, Mariah Carey actually said this.

Wow, your kid really isn't very cute.

Smoking pot makes me feel smarter.

Goldschlagger is the champagne of cordials.

That's a beautiful spray on tan.  It looks so natural.

Sarah Palin...now that's one bright woman.

I don't think Casey Anthony did it.

I can't believe they took Cop Rock off the air so soon.

Josh Hartnett will win an Oscar one day.

Rosie O'Donnell is one hot mama.

I read the NY Post because I want to appear smarter than everyone else.

A-Rod is so clutch.

Today's a nice day for removing wallpaper.

I'm half Greek/half Turkish (OK this might be possible).

Ah, Monday, can't wait to get to work.

I find Facebook and Twitter make me much more productive.

I hate receiving oral sex.

I hate that Liberal propaganda on FoxNews. 

Vanilla Ice is probably my favorite rapper.

Taking pictures of yourself with your phone making a duck face is so much cooler in your 30's.

What I like about celebrity sex tapes is how dignified it makes them look.

Godfather III is my favorite of the Trilogy. 

Under the Cherry Moon had a much better soundtrack than Purple Rain.

George Clooney is so ugly.

Officer, honestly, I have no idea whose blood that is.

Herpes of the eye.  Winning!

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