These are the best fortune cookies ever!
I hate Sunday Brunch.
I love Thanksgiving, just wish there was more food.
(Referring to starving kids in Africa) - I wish I could be that skinny, but without all the flies and stuff. _ oh wait, Mariah Carey actually said this.
Wow, your kid really isn't very cute.
Smoking pot makes me feel smarter.
Goldschlagger is the champagne of cordials.
That's a beautiful spray on tan. It looks so natural.
Sarah Palin...now that's one bright woman.
I don't think Casey Anthony did it.
I can't believe they took Cop Rock off the air so soon.
Josh Hartnett will win an Oscar one day.
Rosie O'Donnell is one hot mama.
I read the NY Post because I want to appear smarter than everyone else.
A-Rod is so clutch.
Today's a nice day for removing wallpaper.
I'm half Greek/half Turkish (OK this might be possible).
Ah, Monday, can't wait to get to work.
I find Facebook and Twitter make me much more productive.
I hate receiving oral sex.
I hate that Liberal propaganda on FoxNews.
Vanilla Ice is probably my favorite rapper.
Taking pictures of yourself with your phone making a duck face is so much cooler in your 30's.
What I like about celebrity sex tapes is how dignified it makes them look.
Godfather III is my favorite of the Trilogy.
Under the Cherry Moon had a much better soundtrack than Purple Rain.
George Clooney is so ugly.
Officer, honestly, I have no idea whose blood that is.
Herpes of the eye. Winning!
I hate Sunday Brunch.
I love Thanksgiving, just wish there was more food.
(Referring to starving kids in Africa) - I wish I could be that skinny, but without all the flies and stuff. _ oh wait, Mariah Carey actually said this.
Wow, your kid really isn't very cute.
Smoking pot makes me feel smarter.
Goldschlagger is the champagne of cordials.
That's a beautiful spray on tan. It looks so natural.
Sarah Palin...now that's one bright woman.
I don't think Casey Anthony did it.
I can't believe they took Cop Rock off the air so soon.
Josh Hartnett will win an Oscar one day.
Rosie O'Donnell is one hot mama.
I read the NY Post because I want to appear smarter than everyone else.
A-Rod is so clutch.
Today's a nice day for removing wallpaper.
I'm half Greek/half Turkish (OK this might be possible).
Ah, Monday, can't wait to get to work.
I find Facebook and Twitter make me much more productive.
I hate receiving oral sex.
I hate that Liberal propaganda on FoxNews.
Vanilla Ice is probably my favorite rapper.
Taking pictures of yourself with your phone making a duck face is so much cooler in your 30's.
What I like about celebrity sex tapes is how dignified it makes them look.
Godfather III is my favorite of the Trilogy.
Under the Cherry Moon had a much better soundtrack than Purple Rain.
George Clooney is so ugly.
Officer, honestly, I have no idea whose blood that is.
Herpes of the eye. Winning!
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