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Ten Random Thoughts About The Last Few Weeks

I know people are tired of hearing about my relationship and job woes.  I'm tired of hearing about them.  I also think people are probably thinking I'm obsessed with politics, but the reality is I'm not.  I just hate all the random posts that aren't true.  I'd defend the opposite of my beliefs if I believed it to be true.  I have learned a few things over the last few weeks and for the sake of time, I'm going to list them....as I'm known to do.  In no order, here they are.

Despite not being someone I normally hang out with.  Despite being older.  Despite having more pressing issues with their own life.  I realized that someone I see often, but sometimes take for granted is one of my best friends in the world.  No matter where I am in my life.

A five year old child, who I have only met four times in my life, is the person that brings me the most happiness in my life.  His innocent exuberance towards everything is so refreshing.

I have not fulfilled any of my resolutions from 2010 in the last two years.  That being said, before the year is out, I want t a pet.  I need unconditional love.  Since I don;t seem to be able to find any conditional.

In the same week, one person threatened to come after me physically and one person promised to stop speaking for me.  I'm deathly afraid of the latter.

Some people don't realize I'm not their friend anymore and some people don't know how much our chats, texts, games of WWF and Hanging with Friends mean.

Having to rely on other people so much lately has made me realize if I ever get sick, I'm ending it...for them, not for me.

Recently I've wanted to write some very personal blogs, but I don't know who reads them and they might mention people I'm friends with on Facebook.  One might even implicate me in something I'd rather not be associated with, but is still an odd lasting memory.

I'm greatly worried about someone I rarely speak to.  It's kept me up many nights and I wish I could somehow take her pain away.  She has so much more to live for than so many.  Life is not fair.

In four weeks, I'm going to go to Ithaca to spend Thanksgiving with my father, grandmother, brother and sister-in-law.  Part of me doesn't want to come back here.  A huge part.  Pretty much all of me, but the part that sees a group of kids for five hours a week.

In the past five or six weeks, I've been called blind, obsessive, bi-polar, crazy, naive, silly, immature, compulsive, needy, too compassionate, loving, miserable, intelligent, patient, impatient, caring, sensitive, manipulative, manipulated, jealous and angry.  Somewhere in there middle of all that is ME.

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