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R.I.P. Johnnie Mac

For a dear friend

Sometime later today, a good friend of mine is going to a memorial service for her best friend, Johnnie Mac.  I never met John, but from what I can gather, he was a special person.  He was a friend and a great person.  On one visit to Cavalry, she had to give way to players from his hockey team who wanted to see their coach.  She cried.  She visited him frequently during his short stay and treasured those final days.  He left this world, those kids and his friend too soon.  He didn't have a choice.

Cancer rarely let's us decide how long we can stick around.  My mother and both my friend's parents were taken by the disease.  We all have lost people to this awful disease and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.  Every time there is a lull in life, someone else's seems to be cut short from this disease.  It never fails. 

I remember the morning my friend found out.  It was the first time I saw her break down.  She's a strong woman.  Independent and feisty.  Cancer doesn't care about the strength of who it attacks or the strength of those it affects.  I'm a very strong person, but thoughts of my mother have brought me to tears recently.  In the past few weeks I've seen times when my friend has become overcome with grief because of her love for him.  On Wednesday, September 28th, Johnnie Mac passed away.  Personal problems had to go by the wayside, because my friend needed me.  What she needed more was time with Johnnie Mac.  It's something I can't give her.  I'd offer time from my life to give to her if I could.  I can afford it. It's not to be.

Tomorrow and Friday will be days of uncontrollable grief for my friend and the friends of Johnnie Mac.  They will be days of grief for me, because I know I can't do anything for her, her friend and I can't bring back my mother.  I can't talk to her about this.  My friend wanted one last time to say goodbye.  We all do.  It's important that we make sure we never leave people angry.  I thought about this the other night during an argument.  I thought about this, when I was mad at someone I care about.  I thought about this while I was mad at a family member who didn't even know it.  I called them just to say hello.  Still angry, but you never know.  When will the last day be? 

I didn't know Johnnie Mac, but if he was good enough to be my friend's best friend, he must have been a hell of a person. He must have been special.  I would have been honored to have met him.  My only connection is a band around my friend's wrist and our friendship.  She never met my mom and I never met her parents.  Our bond is cancer.  It's a strong bond.  Something we both understand without words.  I remember one of the first times we met out for a drink, we spoke about our losses.  It was supposed to be a happy go lucky, let's have fun date.  We both were teary-eyed in seconds.  We both understand.

Today, is going to be a tough day for someone I care deeply about.  At some point during the day,  I might shed a tear.  My mom will be in my thoughts.  So will my friend...and a friend I never met.  R.I.P. Johnnie Mac

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