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Two & Half Hours

This morning I had to go to the IRS office in White Plains.  I had waited til the last minute and had to get my stuff done by the end of the business day.   The office opens at 8:30, so I wanted to get there in the morning.  Here is a detailed report of the (odd) day.

8:25 - walking up hill to bus stop.  See bus leaving.   Story of my life.
8:30 -  girl walks up and reads bus schedule which says the next bus is at 8:34.  She asks "how long ago did the last bus leave?"  I say five minutes.  She says "you sure?"
8:34 - get on bus and pay with 22 dimes and a nickel. 
8:35 - woman gets on bus.  Stands in front and laughs to herself until she gets off three stops later.
8:39 - woman gets on wearing plaid mini skirt, white button down shirt (aka school girl look).  She has a huge baby bump.  All I hear in my head is "oops I did it again."
8:42 - A Spanish girl get on the bus with arguably the nicest skin I've ever seen. 
8:45 - I reach for my phone and the kid next to me leans over and looks at my screen.  He looks like an outcast from the Revenge of the Nerds.
8:52 - get off the bus, when it takes a turn the driver told me it didn't make when I got on.
8:58 - walk into IRS and fill out necessary form.  I'm given a ticket and told to wait. My ticket number is 001. 
9:05 - woman walks in and is told there is an hour wait.  I'm still waiting.
9:18 - 001 is called.  I feel oddly like it's old school Baskin Robbins
10:08 - woman helping me says we are done - never seen someone with so many Obama pictures.
10:16 - get to bus stop and woman with two front teeth that are very odd (and two totally different colors) looking feels compelled to converse with me. 
10:23 - about to get on bus, when an Indian (dot not feather) gets off the bus.  She is absolutely gorgeous.  I'm in the mood for chicken vindaloo and lamb phall.   Instead I smile and it was probably a lamb fail.
10;24 - I realize everyone on the bus is staring at me.  I wipe my nose, check my zipper and then realize why.  White is the new black on buses (that isn't racist, that is fact).  I feel like Rosa Parks with less ambition.
10:32 - driving through Scardale I have a dirty thought...glad I didn't get an erection.  And no, you filthy minded freaks, this wasn't while passing the High School.
10:52 - get off the bus and walk home.  Look in the window of the new dance studio...no hot ass.
10:58 - walk in my door and make coffee. 

And this would classify as an exciting morning for me.  I need to get a life.

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