A friend of mine says "Happy Days" every time he makes a toast. I like this toast. To me, it says, here's to our time together and to many more. May they be always as good or better than this. Sometimes they are, but sometimes they are not. Recently, someone told me that I was a miserable person. That I'm always down. I look down. I act down. Basically, I bring people down who are around me. They went on to say that I wasn't this person a short time ago. This is true.
I'm an emotional person. The good times make me high on life and the downs make me retreat like a turtle hiding in its shell. In the past month, a combination of things have gotten to me. Many contribute to bad moods, bad decisions and all these things contribute to bad days. It's a vicious cycle that I thought conquering one demon might cure. It hasn't helped one bit. I'm realizing now that the demon I'm fighting isn't one aspect of my life, it's a combination. This combination seems to always have an end result of me being alone. This makes for Happy Days being a rarity.
Today started off like many others. I woke up, made some breakfast and had some coffee. Some Internet which involved a debate, which was interesting for about a half a second. Some think I went overboard, but I don't like debating topics when people fight with other people's opinions. I don't think it's worthy of a debate. That being said, this didn't detract from my day. I felt kinda crappy when I woke up, but soon after, I felt a little alive. By the time I got to the school I was charged. The class was so well behaved and so cute that the first hour flew by without incident and with many smiles and lots of laughter. My second class, usually a bit of a hassle, also went well. I probably didn't teach as much as I should of, but the kids were absorbing the lesson and it was pretty fun to watch. I left the school, chatted with a friend, then entered into me evening with nothing to do routine. The TV on for some white noise and some Internet BS. I struggled to decide what to eat and then decided on a nice veggie sandwich. Finally some ripe avocados at Stop & Shop! It's been a while.
All day today, I've felt good. I don't know why. Under the circumstances, I should have been slightly depressed, but I wasn't. I felt refreshed and renewed. Especially after seeing the kids. As the night wore on and the memory of the day started to fade, the happiness faded to. Thoughts of the monotony of tomorrow's IRS meeting loomed large and I was a little bit saddened that this would dampen my spirits. This wasn't why I was sad. My friend texted me to tell me of his brush with wildlife while driving home. He hit a deer. He is OK, but he worries the deer might have been badly hurt. This wasn't why I was sad either. The reason why I was sad, was because I was alone. I didn't have anyone to share the highlights of my day. The person I wish to share them with, isn't interested. Not that she isn't interested in my happiness, but not in the sense that recounting these stories would take place while laying next to each other in bed or nestled on the couch. Not even while speaking on the phone. She cares for me. I know this. She wants me happy. This I am sure of, but it's not the same. Sure I can tell others and it feels good, but there is something about sitting and telling someone about the good things in life. Seeing that smile on their face. Knowing that your happiness means so much to them. Hearing the eagerness in their voice to hear your joy. That is what makes us love people. Knowing that our happiness brings them joy. Being able to tell them the highs you've experienced and waiting to hear of their successes.
Tonight I got to put it in a status update. Maybe in a tweet. I put it in my blog. All I really want is to look to my right, one arm underneath a pillow and one around her waist. Look into her eyes as I tell her my tales. See that slight rise from her cheek and lips as she cracks a smile. Letting me know that she understands that it's the little things in life that make us who we are and bring us such joy. Watching those eyes as they look inside me. Leaning in to kiss her goodnight. Knowing that this is a Happy Day. Hoping the next time we're here, it'll be just as good. Maybe better. Sometimes a toast is just a wish. A wish that all that went wrong will disappear and the one day, every day will be a Happy Day. A Happy Day you can share with someone who cares. With someone you love. With someone who understands just what it is that make each day so happy. If even for a few seconds, before you drift off to sleep to face the uncertainty of tomorrow.
I'm an emotional person. The good times make me high on life and the downs make me retreat like a turtle hiding in its shell. In the past month, a combination of things have gotten to me. Many contribute to bad moods, bad decisions and all these things contribute to bad days. It's a vicious cycle that I thought conquering one demon might cure. It hasn't helped one bit. I'm realizing now that the demon I'm fighting isn't one aspect of my life, it's a combination. This combination seems to always have an end result of me being alone. This makes for Happy Days being a rarity.
Today started off like many others. I woke up, made some breakfast and had some coffee. Some Internet which involved a debate, which was interesting for about a half a second. Some think I went overboard, but I don't like debating topics when people fight with other people's opinions. I don't think it's worthy of a debate. That being said, this didn't detract from my day. I felt kinda crappy when I woke up, but soon after, I felt a little alive. By the time I got to the school I was charged. The class was so well behaved and so cute that the first hour flew by without incident and with many smiles and lots of laughter. My second class, usually a bit of a hassle, also went well. I probably didn't teach as much as I should of, but the kids were absorbing the lesson and it was pretty fun to watch. I left the school, chatted with a friend, then entered into me evening with nothing to do routine. The TV on for some white noise and some Internet BS. I struggled to decide what to eat and then decided on a nice veggie sandwich. Finally some ripe avocados at Stop & Shop! It's been a while.
All day today, I've felt good. I don't know why. Under the circumstances, I should have been slightly depressed, but I wasn't. I felt refreshed and renewed. Especially after seeing the kids. As the night wore on and the memory of the day started to fade, the happiness faded to. Thoughts of the monotony of tomorrow's IRS meeting loomed large and I was a little bit saddened that this would dampen my spirits. This wasn't why I was sad. My friend texted me to tell me of his brush with wildlife while driving home. He hit a deer. He is OK, but he worries the deer might have been badly hurt. This wasn't why I was sad either. The reason why I was sad, was because I was alone. I didn't have anyone to share the highlights of my day. The person I wish to share them with, isn't interested. Not that she isn't interested in my happiness, but not in the sense that recounting these stories would take place while laying next to each other in bed or nestled on the couch. Not even while speaking on the phone. She cares for me. I know this. She wants me happy. This I am sure of, but it's not the same. Sure I can tell others and it feels good, but there is something about sitting and telling someone about the good things in life. Seeing that smile on their face. Knowing that your happiness means so much to them. Hearing the eagerness in their voice to hear your joy. That is what makes us love people. Knowing that our happiness brings them joy. Being able to tell them the highs you've experienced and waiting to hear of their successes.
Tonight I got to put it in a status update. Maybe in a tweet. I put it in my blog. All I really want is to look to my right, one arm underneath a pillow and one around her waist. Look into her eyes as I tell her my tales. See that slight rise from her cheek and lips as she cracks a smile. Letting me know that she understands that it's the little things in life that make us who we are and bring us such joy. Watching those eyes as they look inside me. Leaning in to kiss her goodnight. Knowing that this is a Happy Day. Hoping the next time we're here, it'll be just as good. Maybe better. Sometimes a toast is just a wish. A wish that all that went wrong will disappear and the one day, every day will be a Happy Day. A Happy Day you can share with someone who cares. With someone you love. With someone who understands just what it is that make each day so happy. If even for a few seconds, before you drift off to sleep to face the uncertainty of tomorrow.
what was discussed yesterday was not an "opinion" argument. you would know that if you knew the definitions of the terms used by those who work in that field and whose job it is to forecast what's coming next in fashion. as for what you said yesterday about me pawning off other' people's beliefs.. you're half right. not only do i do my own research online and read books, but i talk to people whose job it is and who know more about it than i do. i learn from people who can teach me something, but that's not to say i don't come up with my own conclusions. the expensive, high end clothing that i invested in, i know will not go out of style any time soon. they're not trendy, they're classic. if i wanted something trendy, i'd buy it at H&M. i eat what i do because of what i've learned about certain foods and their affect on the body- through documentaries, books, what i've learned in class and journals that i'm perscribed to. having said that, obviously i need to reach my own opinion because there's a million different articles all saying something different. i also eat what makes me feel good, and try to avoid what doesn't. i don't think this is arguing someone else's belief, i think it's making an educated decision. the only reason why i'm responding to this is not because i care whether or not i "win" the argument, but because i feel as though i need to defend myself and what i am trying to do as an aspiring nutritionist from someone who uses social media (maybe even more than one form whats ^ about anyway?) to what? prove me wrong? try to embarrass me? try to make me feel uneducated? whatever.
ReplyDeleteplease leave me out of your blog, and if you don't have anything nice to say, please just don't say anything.
I will use the same phrase as I did describing my mother's knowledge of fashion to describe nutrition. As someone who has forgotten more than you have learned about nutrition and one who has seen the cycle due to life experience which you lack, your thoughts and beliefs are based on the common trends and fads.
ReplyDeleteI have not been mean or rude. Believe me, if I wanted to attack your expertise on nutrition and fashion, I could be truly cruel. I have never gone there. The problem is, that you are a still a little girl. You argue you like a little girl, you react to criticism like a little girl and your actions and the way you live your life is that of a little girl. I've told you this in private, but you want to make it public. My point with you has always been that you need to be careful who you argue with. With about 99% of the topics that people want to debate me on, I am more aware of the facts than them. You may like fashion and think you know people. but my mother was in retail (hi end) for years. I know what classic is and I know what trendy is. You are a little misguided. As for sharing a conclusion, that is weak. Don't use other peoples thouhts and says "i agree with them." Something you do quite often. Unoriginality make your stance a tough one to sell. It's not rude, it's contructive.
There is a reason why people, like yourself, hate arguing with me. I'm prepared. While there are times I see things differently, based on others comments, they must be unique and not some text book babble that their college teacher regurgitated to them. There is an old saying that says "those who can not do teach." I agree. I can not play tennis, but I can teach it. Doesn't mean that every kid I teach can't do better than me. Doesn't mean I can beat anyone in tennis. But my teaching improves every year. It changes every year. I've known you for over five years and your methods and your reasoning has gone unchanged. You argue using the same points that you did two years ago about food, even though there are things that have changed. You need to keep learning and to adapt.
Today I learned something completely useless, but I learned it within the first half hour of waking up. I went online and read somethijng else and learned about someone. I watched something on TV and learned another thing. It's that which keeps me going and keeps me adapting. You don't do this. Being cute and laughing at stuff only takes you so far in life.
I could be brutally honest with you, but I would never want to truly hurt you. I have doubts about your devotion to the nutrition career. I have questions about your fashion knowledge. I also hate to see someone who is so genuinely kind to others take so much mental abuse in return. But have you ever listened to me? NO! So when you come after me in a debate, conversation, argument, you must realize that I am done pussy-footing around your feelings. You're an adult now and real adults treat others like adults. The problem is you wish to still be treated like a child and never be spoken down to. GThe reality is that innocence was lost on my me when I was 13. For most it's during HS. You want to maintain that. You can not be taken seriously as an adult and maintain youthful innocence at the same time. it's time to grow up.