Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from March, 2009

Engagement Rings

A man meets a woman, they fall in love and he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. That is beautiful, but before he asks for her hand in marriage, he must do the right thing and ask her parents for permission. That to is beautiful. Then again, if they said no, he's going to do it anyway, so really, what's the point? Kind of funny that in a few years he'll probably be on both knees begging either forgiveness or praying that she will find her way into the rear orifice of a wood-chipper. Before he does any of this though, he must buy THE RING!

These days the proposal ain't mean a thing if their ain't got some bling involved. Women have become so obsessed with having a nicer, bigger, shinier ring than their friends that guys basically mortgage their future on these pieces of gaudy trash. Years ago, the proposal itself was the important part of the agreement. Now it's the ring. It's because television has made believe that fairy tales can come true. I ha…

It is what it is

It is what it is. Those five words irritate me more than any catch phrase that has ever been uttered. I can't put my finger on it, but when I hear those words I immediately wish these people would be transformed into 9 years old and have Michael Jackson as their babysitter. I realize it's only a silly phrase, but it has been so overused and is now the new "Whatever." Listen, if you don't care to listen to what I'm saying, let me know. Don't let me speak to you, and then come back with this crap. If I'm saying that work has been slow and I have some debts I need to take care of, and I'm worried about if I'll be able to pay my rent, the correct response would be "that sucks, it's rough out there, hope it all works out." That would let me know you listened to what I said, agree that it is a dilemma, you don't really know what to tell me, but you wish me well. But when you say It is what it is. You're telling me that you don&…

The Man Crush

We use the word love way too much when we don't really mean it. We always say how we love a professional sports team, a movie, a certain food. Do we really love them? Dictionary.com's first three definitions of Love are 1. profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. sexual passion or desire. I don't think that I feel that strongly about anything that isn't currently breathing. What I'm trying to say is we like things, but we don't truly love them. In my last blog, I state that I loved Jake Ryan. Love is a strong word. I mean he's a good looking guy and all, but I wouldn't call it love. Seriously, how can you love a character? Maybe the real Jake Ryan isn't a nice guy, who knows? Let's just call it a crush. Which leads me to my next topic. The Man Crush.

I don't think sports figures we like can be considered a man crush because it&…

I Love You, Jake Ryan

As a teenager in the 80's, it seemed as though every summer there were thousands of teen movies. In reality, there were John Hughes films and everything else. Hughes' films not only captured the essence of being a teenager, but made us able to identify with characters and showed us that everyone is special in their own way. The one thing Hughes' films didn't have was eye candy for horny teenage boys.

For boys growing up in the 80's there were tons of young girls for us to fall in love with. There was Joyce Hyser in Just One Of The Guys, who is an aspiring journalist who dresses and pretends to be a guy to write a story. The entire movie leads up to her unveiling her voluptous breasts to show the guy she has a crush on she's all woman. Hooray for Boobies! Before that, we had Risky Business, and despite some girls liking Tom Cruise in his tighty-whiteys, the movie is all about Rebecca Demornay. She made prostitution cool. Seriously!

The 80's had movies that see…

He said what?

Have you ever said something that stopped people in their tracks? Have you ever said something that made complete sense when you thought it, might have made sense after you said it, but still people looked at you as if you just beat up a 6 year old girl in the playground? I have.

I've said stuff I've regretted. I've said stuff that was mean. I've said stuff I truly meant and still wished I hadn't. I've said "I Love You" when I didn't. I've said "I hate you" when I didn't. I've said a lot of things. One thing stands out, and only because of the reaction.

Let me set the scene.

I had just gone back to school and was taking classes at Manhattan College. I had transferred some credits and I believe at the time I was 26. I was in some freshman and sophomore classes with mushy minded teenagers who thought the secret to the universe was Happy Hour at Dorney Malone's. I was taking a sociology class with a professor who was about a ye…

Saving Money!

We all want the American Dream. A house/apartment we can't afford. A husband/wife we'll soon divorce or be hounded by for years to come. A child who we'll go into hock for, who will loves us until their teenage years. They will hate us through college, all the while we pay for vehicles, tuition, books, and bail (OK a select few of us). Then they will love us again, just before they ask us to help pay for that extra special wedding and to take care of our children. How can we get to this wonderful point in our lives? The economy is a mess and no end is in site, yet so many of us spend spend spend on silliness. Well we all love lists. Especially us Facebook fanatics. So here is my little helpful list to help you reach the American Dream...or at least afford alimony and child support while living in your one bedroom apartment spraying cheese-wiz into your mouth while you cry yourself to sleep wishing you spent the $9 for condoms.

1. Coffee - A can or bag of coffee makes about …

Jewelry/Candle/Sex Toy Parties vs Fantasy Sports

A few weeks ago I thought out loud and stated that "Women have all these Jewelry, candle, and sex toy parties, but what do men have?" Someone, who I wish I could give credit, but my memory is fading, explained that men have fantasy sports. At first, this made complete sense. I have repeated these words a few times in the last few weeks and thought it to be true. Then I started thinking about this and found it to be completely false. Follow me as I break it down.

These so-called parties involve one person making money, one person getting free stuff for hosting a party, and a group of people buying stuff they don't really need to help a friend out. Occasionally they get a ring, a candle or a sex toy that just, er, fits them to a tee, but usually it's a guilt purchase. For guys, we all go in knowing we're spending the same amount, and have the knowledge that nearly half of us will get our money back, with one or two people actually making a decent amount.

Let's ta…

Welcome to my blog

Good Day All,

I have just started this blog as a way to voice my opinions on various topics when I feel it necessary. Many times I feel I'm slightly overbearing in sharing my feelings, and I felt that this might be a way to voice them without having to hurt anyone's feelings (directly). Anyone who reads this is more than welcome to comment, as I always welcome a debate, and don't always see the world as others do.

In the next few weeks I will probably piss off some sports fans, some political know-it-alls, some foodies, some movie buffs, and some friends. I mean no harm, but there are times I feel like my word is the law. Hey this is my blog and I can say what I want, while others are free to disagree and if they so choose, start their own blog.

I am new to this and right now it is 3am and I am expected in at work in five hours. I guess the first thing you will learn about me is I am a bit of an insomniac. I guess I would classify myself as a middle-of-the-night inso…