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Showing posts from May, 2010

Drinkers Union Incorporated (DUI)

In the past I've been accused of being a fixture at the Piper's Kilt in Eastchester. I've always somewhat laughed at that, because I'm not there nearly as much as people think. When I do go out, it does tend to consist of multiple hours that most livers and kidneys can't fathom, but the number of days is greatly exaggerated. Recently, I've been expanding my horizons and going to other places. Rumors have been stirred about a boycott of my beloved Kilt, but they aren't true. We won't get into the reasons for my lessened visits, due to my desire to protect the innocent (and the guilty). A few days ago, a friend of mine made a comment that resonated in my mind. He said, "what if we started a union." The thought was that we would use our monetary expenditures as collateral for lower drink prices. It sounds silly, but we really started thinking about the impact we could have on the local drinking scene.

We started talking about who would b…

The Fountain

No this is not a blog about the beautiful sci-fi film by Darren Aronofsky, which starred Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet. No, it's not about some watery site with mystical powers that gives one eternal youth. No, this is about me. The Fountain is basically a shortened version of The Fountain of Useless Information. Many have called me this. Is it such a dishonor to be a walking search engine for the mundane? I'd like to think behind all the useless information there are some specs of actual intelligence. There is, or is it are?

More times than naught a time will come during the day when someone asks a question about an actor, song, team, player, historical event, food, or some other whimsical event and someone else will ask me. I've been told by many, that if ever given the opportunity to enter a trivia challenge that contains a lifeline, I'd be there choice. So far no calls and nobody splitting any money with me. There have been times however, where perks were granted du…

Insomnia: A Love Story

The fan blows cooling my brow,
while I rest upon the soft white cotton.
Visions in the dark comfort me,
almost make me feel as if you're here.
The digital clock ticks within my head,
while the minutes and hours I'm losing amass.
The pills I've taken are not the answer,
and I wonder if there ever will be.
Is it you or is it me,
that makes me dream when only I'm awake?
I see your face so clearly,
but only from a distance.
Only in my dreams, may I approach,
but they never come.
I suddenly drift into a state of serenity, becoming anxious to hold your hand. But just then, the sun peeks through the blinds,
telling me it's time to say goodbye.

Almost Ten Things I Like About You

OK, I know. First the three types of guys, then sundresses. OK, so maybe I'm lonely. But it made me think about my likes. The little things that the fairer sex does to get our attention. Maybe it's what they wear or something they do, but there are some things that just grab hold of me and make me interested. Some are subtle, some are more direct. They all just add a little something extra to the package.

I have already beaten the sundress thing to death, but there are some other items I find very attractive. Baseball caps are a biggie. If a girl is wearing a baseball cap and has long hair, I find it a huge turn-on. Especially if they wear it so their ponytail hangs out of the back. That's just hot. Now I think guys who wear hats backwards and aren't 19 are for the most part, tools. Yes, I'm talking to you guido! If you're not a catcher, turn that lid around, buddy. But, there is nothing cuter than a girl with a hat on backwards. Not sure why, but it's just …


As we experience the return of warm weather, many thoughts and feelings are conjured up. The sun's rays seem almost therapeutic to some. Bringing smiles to faces especially those who love to soak up the rays and bronze their skin. The hours after work and weekends seem longer. Time is spent outdoors sipping cocktails and enjoying barbecues and sunsets. People will flock to the beaches and enjoy summer's delights. I however, am happy for one reason. Sundresses.

I know many look forward to the bikinis, the short shorts, the halter tops and mini skirts. I look forward to the lovely sundresses. There's something so sensual about seeing a woman in a sundress. It's somewhat modest, but somewhat risque. When a woman is walking in a sundress, there so much to be seen, but there is still some mystery being left to ponder. Some are somewhat sheer and when the light hits it in the right way, it's magical. It's revealing without being trampy. I don't know what it is abo…

The Churchill Quote

"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." - Winston Churchill.

In the past few days this quote has popped up on quite a few Facebook statuses, followed by the instructions to Pass this around keep it going... let the country know that we can't afford Obama or his CHANGE!!!IF you don't agree, delete it! That is "one" of the few rights we still have left. It's an interesting quote and one that initially makes tons of sense and one would question the Obama regime and it's thought process, but the problem with the statement is that the bucket analogy doesn't quite hold water.

Federal revenues increase almost every year. They generally do regardless of tax cuts or tax hikes. Only five times since 1962 have they decreased. Only five times in the last 48 years. Four of those years were from 2001 through 2005. During that duration, Bush lowered taxes …

How Will Lost End?

Let me preface this blog entry with the fact that I have watched Season 1 and probably four episodes of Season 2 and I believe Lost to be one of the silliest shows ever made. I think they had a plan, a la Sopranos, that would play out over a small number of episodes and it would make sense. Popularity caused them to create more ideas and these ideas spun out of control and became what the masses call "brilliant." Let me also point out that the masses are, for the most part, far from brilliant.

So how will this mess end? When I first watched the show I was struck by the silly symbolism. A man named John Locke who represents individuality and self governing, who believes we are innately good, unless faced with evil. Sounds like a famous philosopher named....John Locke! How original. I wondered if they'd throw in a character, maybe, his protagonist and call them Rousseau or maybe Hobbes. Little did I know until recently, but there was a Rousseau. How original. Then there is …

Technologically Advanced. Really?

Everywhere we go these days we see what could only be imagined years ago. Technology is getting better and computers run so many things now, that human interaction is getting less and less. Even when it's needed.

Today, I left work early and went to CVS. I picked up some toiletries and headed to the counter. A young woman scanned my items, asked if I had a CVS card and upon my negative response, she scanned the card on the counter. I got my savings and was out in a few minutes. No coupons printed out, no wasted paper. Technology works. Then I went to the gas station. I slid my debit card into the slot and pressed my pin numbers in. The display board said "see cashier inside." I walked in and he reset it. I did it again. Same message. He then reset the pump and he did it and pressed credit card. I said it was a debit and he said "oh sometimes that doesn't work?" Hmm? I then headed to my bank to make a withdrawal. I saw some woman in front of me getting frustr…

Mother's Day Memories

Last year was the fifth Mother's Day without mom. It was a sad day and I wrote a blog about how much she meant to me. This year, I awoke and started to chuckle. I thought about the silliness of this one day we deem Mother's Day. It's a day that was brought about by a woman who wanted a day to observe and respect mother's everywhere. The woman who pushed this to become a yearly occurrence, passed by Woodrow Wilson, actually fought to have it repealed due to the fact that she was upset with how it had become commercialized. I find it funny at what it has become and what people do, year in and year out, despite knowing it's silliness.

I started thinking about past years and the funny gifts, cards and things that happened. I used to always make a present for my mother when I was younger. Usually because it was a school project, but later I'd make cards or other presents. I have never had any artistic ability, but I remember once we had to make something wi…

What Kinda Guy Are You?

It's so funny. Men and women are so different in so many ways. Women in general like to shop, soak up the rays at the beach and watch love stories the likes of which no man can bare. Men on the other hand, seem to like drinking and watching sports, period! I'm making very broad generalizations, but my point is, I wonder if girls are like guys in what they seek out in a woman. I am not speaking about family values right now, I'm talking strictly physical attraction.

Now all guys like a pretty face, but guys are pretty much divided into three groups. Breast men, ass men and leg men. Oddly enough, you when you ask a buddy what kind of guy he is, you don't ever hear him say "I'm a pussy man." One because it's sounds like a self-loathing statement and two, it's a fucking given.

It's a funny phenomenon and I definitely don't want to get all Freudian with this entry, but I'd like to think it has nothing to do with our mothers, grandmothers or a…

A Letter to April

April in retrospect felt like it flew by. In reality it dragged. Not out of boredom, but out of the sheer amount of time I feel I spent awake during this month. Work finally started picking up and my after school gig was in full swing. Money was made, but in looking back, more was spent. It seems like that is the case quite a bit now. The stupor of March continued throughout the early weeks of April. March Madness came to a close, but was quickly replaced by opening day and the exciting Masters. Life doesn't revolve around sports though. Or does it? Hey one wonderful moment did come in August. The Yankees received their World Series Championship rings which were probably the ugliest championship ring ever made. I know, you'll take it however you can get it. I just love being a ball breaker.

April had some comical moments, like being awoken by my boss who asked me if I was coming in to work one day and I replied, "On a Saturday?" Apparently, it was Friday.…