Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2017

Someone Get The Lights

I've said goodbye to 2017 already. I did so last Friday, when I said goodbye to my beautiful niece, my brother and my sister-in-law. I later said goodbye to my kids and my new co-workers, leaving last, grasping on to it, as I did my niece earlier in the afternoon.

I promised her it would not be another 365 days before our next encounter. A promise I do not know if I'll keep, but it's something to strive for. She brings out a happiness in me. One that has been trapped. Her childish indifference towards me, often ignoring my silly face, to study the paper on which she draws, is refreshing. I do not control that situation, but should I look away, her calls; my name, bring a warmth that I can not describe. Her goodbye touched me, but it wasn't sadness, but an immediate feeling of excited anticipation. I didn't feel that last time, because I couldn't.

Last year, New Year's Eve, I was living, not staying, but living in a motel room. Daily sexual encounters to the…

First Time Sick In Five Years

Doubt. Skepticism. Disbelief.
I realize for many, the title sparks the above words feelings, but it's true. Aside from some sneezing due to pollen, mold or dust, it's been over five years since I've had an actual cold. Whether it's due to being back around children, chronically sick housemates or under-the-weather family visitors, I do not know, but I am definitely ill. A slight cough, that I managed to fend off, has returned and become harsh. The congestion was not present early on, but now it is here. I have so far avoided any fever, but I sense, as my body amps up the fight, it will be here soon. Sickness during a break from work. It seems like a visit from an old friend. 
When I first started working with children, my immune system would fight and kept me healthy, right up until the holidays and then, the simple act of relaxing, would bring on colds like I never knew. I'd usually be in bed for three, maybe four days, and then it was gone. Gone again until the n…

For Those Who Celebrate

"Happy......., For those who celebrate"

One of the most sincere and unintentionally cringe-worthy phrases in the English language. Yes, even more so than the embraced War on Christmas's Happy Holidays. It is never said with any malcontent, but it immediately divides us. Why, if we celebrate, wouldn't we want others to share in our happiness? Why, if we don't, wouldn't we desire to share in the happiness of others?

Forget the religious aspect of Christmas and think about this time next week. Children, awaken to the dark sky. Lingering in bed for an appropriate amount of time, until they can wake their parents or expect festivities. The coffee pot or the aroma of its contents is a good sign. The pitter-patter of tiny feet, scurry across the floor. Still in pajama, they embrace their parent(s) and any other loved ones present. Their widen eyes, fluttering heartbeats and excited minds, racing. They wait for the first gift, then another, and another. They receive …

October & November Movies

As the year speeds to an end, it has become abundantly clear that this year, in terms of volume, will be a failure in terms of movies. I'm currently at under sixty percent of my normal 300-325 movies per year. That being said, I've seen some great ones this year. Here's the last two months. October's list is embarrassingly small.

Top Of The Lake: China Girl - Impossible to top the original series and doesn't come close.Split - Shymalan's vision comes to life thanks to McAvoy, Buckley and Taylor-Joy!Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - More of the same starts to fade, but loved the conclusion.Woman In The Dunes - Beautiful, haunting and erotic. A film that lingers inside you. Peur(s) Du Noir - B&W Animated vignette. Stories are good, but animation is the draw.Rififi - Sadly, the DVD wouldn't let me finish the movie, but at that point, I stopped caring.Cria Cuervos - Wonderful acting, but this anti-Franco allegory didn't work for me.It Comes At Night - H…

The Final Month

Rabbit, Rabbit

Needed good luck and good cheer. Silly childhood sayings, myths and fables. This year winds down, and like all, since turning 40 (or was it 30), the years seem to flash by. Days drag, at times, even weeks, but the years are a blur.

As kids we measure time by holidays. In school or out. Our Sunday Best, fireworks, costumes and presents. As young adults, we waited for our weekends away with friends, maybe even spring break for the post-college crowd. In my 30's, it was watching other's kids grow and it was pleasant, but age creeps up and in our 40's, time and years are marked by those we've lost.

December. another Christmas and Hanukkah without my mother. Next yea will be my 15th holiday season without her. It shows. It's been years since I gave or received a gift. I don't want for anything, so I often think others need to feel as I. Selfish, I know, but I look back on the massive amounts of time and money I've spent, searching the aisles or si…

Me Time During The Holidays

“Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.”
 ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I spent Thanksgiving alone again and it was fine. The two days and nights that followed were spent entirely with my landlords. Something that hasn't happened before, despite living here for nearly eleven months. I craved solitude and when I got it on Sunday, I felt the anxiety float away. They returned and I laughed, with them. 
I've often spoke of the importance of solitude to my friends who are mothers. My friends who are fathers always seem to have that male bonding time during the holidays and never appear as hampered by the responsibility of making everyone else happy, well fed and appreciated during the holidays. I realize this is a generalization, but for me, well from my perspective, it's true.
Solitude is often viewed as a negative, but in small doses, it'…

The Riddle Of Thanksgiving

Thankful? I've written about this before. Why are people thankful for things they should be grateful for? To be thankful, is to be happy you have what you expected to have or, in most cases, relieved it's not worse. It's simply a feeling. In many ways, a superficial feeling. I'm thankful when someone sends me a Christmas card, but I'm grateful to have them in my life.

So why is it, in a day when our consumerism is at it's peak, when we cause stress on others to do things we should all do often, when we waste time, energy and money, are we thankful? Before rolling your eyes, realize for most of us, holidays are a stressful burden. A time when we put on a happy face, so that others don't have to see our daily troubles. Are we really thankful for that?

I will be spending my third Thanksgiving alone. Two years ago, I sat in an ice cold house, watching a movie. I don't even think I made dinner. Last year, a lonely motel room. One of two people in the entire …

The Strangest Year

As the sun sets this evening, it will mark an end to most tumultuous year of my life. In the course of the past 365 days, I've experienced an emotional test few I know personally have had to deal with. Do not misunderstand. I am not looking for sympathy, as I at no time was ill. I did not face death or disease, so I consider my troubles self made. It's simply been a painful year, made easier by some, mostly those I'd never have thought would be the ones when the year started. And as IS becoming expected, the ones I thought would be there for me have all but disappeared.

I will not bore you with details. Not to be cryptic or for need of attention, but out of a need to protect my sanity. I don't feel like revisiting certain pains and I don't feel like looking backward. I'm in a better place. Far from what anyone I know on social media would call good, but a better place. I am secure in a home, at least for the next two month and that's not something I could s…

Cold

Cold has evaded me for most of my life. Playing outside in the snow as a child, I had to practically be dragged inside. As a teen, the cold weather meant football, sometimes even shoveling snow for basketball. My work as a roofer, made the cold days seem pleasurable in comparison to the 90 degree days of summer. As an adult, shorts and a thermal, maybe a sweatshirt were all I needed for a winter day. Socks were optional.

Then I went vegan.

If there has been one dramatic change, aside from weight and body image, it's been the weather. A comfortable summer, but with much less heat than I anticipated. Less sweating, but also limited activity due to my surgery. Autumn seems to have faded after two, maybe three weeks and winter is here. The first snow yesterday. The second last night. A chill is in the air and has entered my bones for the first time in longer than I can remember. Three layers on my torso and I could feel the cold on my much less broad chest, my puny arms and running do…

Back Where I Belong

Work.

Work is a four letter word for most. If you work with children and view it this way, I'd be glad to part ways with you and I mean that with great sincerity. I point to social media often, but the number of teachers I am friends with is astounding. The number of those who complain about their job is minimal, but it's enough to be known. I have no use for these people and in most cases, remain friends out of a favor to others. I simply can't comprehend anyone working with children not feeling pride and joy, each and every day.

Yes, I get it. We'd all love to sip margaritas and leave our pants in the drawer. I've lived that life. Not in the relaxed sense, but in the way where my options were limited and my physical abilities had become a burden. Recently, I returned and while not exactly what I'd like to be doing, I am happy again. I have stories, laughs and I feel energized. So much so, I am sleeping again. I have fears, but not once I'm there. Sure I h…

My Only Real Fear

I may have written about this before, but I can't be certain. While I've been known to be open, I rarely talk about fear, because to be honest, I'm not really afraid of much. Sure, I don't want to die alone, but I'm pretty sure we all die alone in some ways. I don't like the idea of not being loved, but well, we deal with that too. I mean real fear, from something completely out of our control. Mine is wind; strong winds.

The recent news of hurricanes bothers me more than people know. Seeing the devastation is tough and the poor support people are shown when nature's fury strikes, is always upsetting, but for me it's the cause that I find upsetting. Things like earthquakes, mudslides, sinkholes and tsunamis are scary, but for me, strong winds are simply terrifying. The pressure, the accompanying rain, thunder and lightning add to it, but for me it's that sound. That howl!

Last night, my window was open a crack, the soft whirl of my ceiling fan going…

In Control

Being in charge isn't for everyone. People say they are "take charge" or "control freaks," but the reality is, most of those who claim that are poor leaders. I do not know if I am a good leader. I was as a child, especially when it came to sports, but mostly and maybe secretly, because I didn't care much about winning. I've never actually cared about winning, other than the joy it brings others. It's a weird dynamic of my life, which spills over, both positively and negatively into other aspects of my life. I don't think it will change, but I'm seeing it's affects now.

For many years, I ran a program for kids. For years before that I was lucky enough to work for places that allowed me the freedom to, within reason, mold my groups in my own way. Well, after a three year hiatus, I'm back working with kids and I'm low man on the totem pole and I'm having difficulty with it. I'm having a problem being a cog. I'm having a …

Being There

I am about to be vague or some may see it as cryptic. I'll attempt to be brief. I'm just feeling a little flustered, confuses; possibly even bitter. Do most people think their mere presence equates to effort? I mean this is the most general way, but think about all facets of life, if you choose. A job, a relationship, even a marriage, a parent, a friend, even a tryst or an acquaintance. Have we become a society, a culture, where our presence is viewed as enough? Do we view just being present as enough? 
Think of people you've been with over the past twenty-four hours? Did the person serving your morning coffee, maybe even your breakfast, act as if you were more than just a person standing in front of them. Did you accept them for more than doing their job? What if it was your child or parent or spouse? Do you see them or the routine? Does how they do it make a difference or is their doing it simply enough? Some work in a class, a cubicle or maybe a site. Everyone plays the…

The One "Me Too" Argument That Still Has Me Seething

Yes, it's true, some of us good guys immediately think of our mothers and sisters first. Maybe our wives and our daughters. Maybe simply friends.There is nothing wrong with that, but it works a lot better when you simply think of women as fellow human beings. Try it.

I've seen the use of homosexuality used to explain it. Put yourself in the position of "How would you react if a someone of the same sex expected sex, because they bought you dinner, something nice or they were simply with you at the end of the night and wanted you?" That too works, in a sense.

I've seen half jokes about not saying anything to a woman you wouldn't want said to you in prison. Once again feeding of homophobia, as if it that were OK. I've seen every argument other than try to be better. Own your faults. Apologize for your behaviors, especially when drunk. Explain your feelings and realize that when your fantasies become expectations, you've already crossed a line. Work on it…

Odd Sunday Morning

I've been up at least an hour. That's not to say I didn't sleep, but the Sun and I don't seem to mesh well as of late. My friend Swag, who has been quite the cuddle bud lately, decided to go sleep in the kitchen. Maybe it's me, but more than likely, he's as thrown off as I am. The children are back, and for the first time in nearly three months, my weekends have not been my own. The stress of this was not something I expected, but the peaceful moments, especially in the early morning are something I will miss. Will I be here come next spring or summer, when the house is mine? I tend to think not, but then again, I have thought many things about my location in life and I've been wrong every time. Every time, since 2004. Not a single time was I correct. An odd thing for someone who strives to be "correct" as much as possible.

There's a new stress in my life, but quite possibly a good stress. I'll keep it under wraps for now, because I have r…

My (extremely weak) Anti-Trump Freestyle

Arrived in Westchester donning a sheepskin jacket,
Even back then I was causing a racket.
You're not like us and we don't like you,
Wonder how much more hate had they known Mom was a Jew.
Lily white people, like the shell tops of my Adidas,
Sitting in Math class, learning PMDAS.
Off to White History, learning about this, that and the other,
Could look for miles and couldn't see a brother.
Spent thirty years blinding myself to the racism of friends,
Social media arrives and many of those end.
Eight years of hate, but not cause he's black,
They feel so oppressed, but what is it they lack.
Middle class whites, talking about their plight,
Ignorance isn't acknowledged, they just want to fight.
They bashed him for healthcare and his knowledge of the constitution,
This isn't what they learned in the educational institutions.
They see in a Trump, a great white hope,
Ignoring the fact, he's a great big dope.
They use every excuse for him, even accepting his plan,
Bu…

2017: The Year Facts Went To Die

Thanks to FOX News, we have the war on Christmas, White People, Christianity, Wealth, The Anthem, The Flag and everything else viewed as "American."

Not reported in response, is the War on Intelligence.

Thanks to social media, "Blah Blah Blah," "ZZZ" and "Whatever" have become legitimate responses to facts, research, history, science and the proper use of the English language (you know, the language those who despise intelligent thought want made official). In the not so distant past, a debate was ended when someone could give irrefutable evidence that the other party couldn't argue to the contrary. Now, simply being contrary is a debate tool.

It's 2017, we have more people believing the Earth is flat, than we did two hundred years ago and we have just as many who believe the Sun revolves around the Earth as we do who believe dead people and illegal immigrants are voting against their candidates. The problem with this new found belief sy…

August & September Movies - 2017

2017 continues to be the year I watched the least number of movies in a calendar year, I have watched a few series, but then again I've watched a few shorts, so I'm about 150 behind the norm this time of year. At about 140, I'm well over 100 movies behind last year's pace. Doesn't look to rebound much, with the baseball playoffs starting and my life in a bit of a tailspin as of late. Well here's the best, the worst, and the rest of the last two months
Election - Johnnie To's triad film feels like a weak homage to Goodfellas and alike.The Spirit Of The Beehive - Second viewing and easily the most complex film I've ever seen.The Gospel According To St. Matthew - Biblical tour de force from Pasolini. Beautiful.The Devil's Candy - Solid acting and decent story gives way to horribly silly climax.Lifeboat - Re-watched. In my opinion, Hitchcock's greatest film.Strasek, de Vampir - Ode to Dreyer's Vampyr, it looks good in B&W, but fails miserably…

When You See It

Now, this isn't a photo with a hidden message, funny incident or a foot that looks like male genitalia. It's not a knee slapper or an "Oh my god" moment. It's when something that's been around you all your life, comes into focus as not being what it appeared. At times, I wonder what hurts more, the reality of it or the reality I ignored, not only the signs, but the warnings.

We are raised to love and respect our parents and grandparents. We are raised to. We are raised to listen and obey, value their wisdom and most of all, in most cases, we're told by outsiders to emulate their lives. We hear people say, "If I can be half the man my father was," or "If I'm half the mother my mom was," and then something following that pertains to luck. But here's where this has always fascinated me. We judge our father's on being men, but our mother's on being moms. Why?

I'm 47-years-old and I'm very happy being not even close …

Moments

In an attempt to romanticize my mundane life, I may exaggerate the power of simple moments, but it occurred to me, that locations have a time of day. What I mean by this is, for each place we visit, live in or come across, there's a time when that place is illuminated. Maybe it's routine that makes us seek out these moments, like being captive, waiting for the sunlight to stream across the cell. Many who work in office buildings probably feel that same need for a glimmer of hope, even if it is just light.

I'm sure this has always been present, but nothing in my childhood matched the first glimpse of the outfield grass, while walking through the shadowy tunnel of Yankee Stadium, on way to my seat. The bright lights making the lush grass glow, still gives me shivers. I sometimes wondered, if there was a heaven, might this be what it looks like. 
Later in life, there was a moment, shared with five friends in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire. We took our folding chairs, placed them in…

Me vs We

I was listening to politicians in Mexico and San Juan this morning and you heard the pain and fear, but also the trembling sincerity in their voices. The main concern was making sure our citizens were safe. They reassured them all would be done to take care of the damage, but that they must first protect themselves and their loved ones. I then listened to Trump use words like I and my, using hyperbole to describe the natural disasters, recovery and rebuilding efforts. I and My, in contrast with We and Our.

 It doesn't even have to be taken politically. It's about the person at this point. It's just so frustrating, when we look back at how America dealt with both gas/oil crisis, Iran hostage crisis, a crumbling economy and increased debt, 9/11, housing market collapse, recession, wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, those that preceded them, and every natural disaster in between....it's always been We, Us, Our.

 I miss that terribly.

Why Did He Go There?

I have a new roommate. He's 25 and like most people his age, he is wise beyond his ears. Yes, ears was intentional. His intelligence, his profound thought and his life experience is simply something that sounds good; to himself. There's very little substance to it and within his ears, I sometimes question whether there is a light on. Like many his era and younger, he appears to have a strange sense that if you leave something and it's washed, fixed, repaired, assembled or replaced, he has achieved. Many people will blame parenting, society or participation trophies, but I question those people. I also condemn that thought process as being part of the problem. A proverbial out for an entire generation. My feeling is, he simply lacks knowledge in an era, where it's so easily accessible, one must make attempts to appear smart, as to avoid questioning. 
So why am I bashing this young man? Many reasons, but I do have fun with the child, at times. One afternoon I happened to…

The Screen Has Been Too Dark

Every year, since I was young, I have watched movies. Almost every night. I've never been much on television, and rarely as an adult, have I had "my shows." In fact, I've not owned a working television for over seven years. I now have one in my bedroom, but so far, I've only watch sports. Movies are, and always will be "my shows."

In the course of any given year, I will watch approximately 350 movies. I rarely re-watch movie I've seen, but still will do so, if I've forgotten them. This time, last year, I was approaching movie #250. The year before, #240. This year, I've watched a paltry 130. While many may laugh and think of this as much ado about nothing, it has a great impact on my mood. Even more so, I've not had many people to discuss my films with, because nobody I have left in my life embraces the art of cinema, as I do.

I realize this all sounds petty, slightly conceited and incredibly minor, when one looks at the woes of surround…

A Hare Of Despair

I love my cat.

Anyone who knows me well, knows in many ways, he's why I exist or quite possibly why I still exist. He sets my schedule. He makes me wonder, worry and at times, most times, makes me feel important. I sense he knows this and there are days he plays this against me and others allows me to appreciated feeling in needed. He senses my moods, when humans can not, but unlike them, he shows deference, always.

He also likes to hunt.

His tally of field mice is in the thirties, and that is merely the number I know of. He has eaten some whole, but usually shows those to me first. He occasionally comes home with feathers stuff to his whiskers. That number is much lower. Being vegan, for moral reasons, the deaths bother me. I then put myself in his mind and realize it's these instincts, skills if you may, that set him apart from humans. He is not doing it for sport, but at times, to feed me. In his mind, I am aloof and can not fend for myself. In most humans minds, we own cat…

Sixteen Years Later

I know it's probably not as often as I believe, but is it always a high, cloudless, light blue sky on this morning, every year? This morning's, with the sun and the moon both visible, brought back memories, both awful and promising.

 I don't normally post about this and actually, I normally don't post at all on this day, but it's the first year that I've felt we're worse off than we were on this day 16 years ago. Obviously, nothing compares to the horrors of that day, but the country, almost immediately, came together. Those on the fringe, have grown into what is now running the country (and media) and while they are still a minority, they are no longer silent. Their hate is bold and brash, mush like the terrorists from a little over a decade and a half ago.

 It's just an odd feeling for me. As someone who grew up peering out my bedroom window at those majestic towers, I commented a long time ago, about a tangible loss of innocence. I remember when I fi…

2017 NFL Predictions

Yeah, I know, the Chiefs shocked the Patriots and I know Eric Berry is done for the year (Horrible!)
But here it is, one game in
And yes, I realize I've not exactly gone out on a limb with my pick for champion

AFC EAST
Patriots - 2
Bills
Dolphins
Jets

AFC NORTH
Steelers - 4
Bengals
Ravens
Browns

AFC SOUTH
Texans - 3
Titans - 6
Jaguars
Colts

AFC WEST
Chiefs - 1
Chargers - 5
Broncos
Raiders

NFC EAST
Cowboys - 4
Eagles
Giants
Redskins

NFC NORTH
Packers - 3
Lions
Bears
Vikings

NFC SOUTH
Saints - 1
Falcons - 5
Buccaneers - 6
Panthers

NFC WEST
Seahawks - 2
Cardinals
Rams
49'ers

Wild Card 
Steelers over Chargers
Titans over Texans
Falcons over Cowboys
Packers over Buccaneers

Divisional
Chiefs over Texans
Patriots over Steelers
Saints over Falcons
Packers over Seahawks

Conference
Patriots over Chiefs
Packers over Saints

Super Bowl Champs - New England Patriots

Take A Minute And Remember, It's 2017

I defend every human who comes here and their right to dream about a better life
I defend the LGBTQ community and their right to love, marry and be respected for who they are.
I defend POC and their right not to be treated differently, because of their skin.
I defend Muslims and their right not to be judged by the actions of a few.
I defend the poor, of which I am now one, but very few I know can relate.
I defend a living wage and American's right to achieve some semblance of he American Dream.
I defend women and their rights to be treated as equals, both in the workplace and in society.
I defend everyone's right to vote and believe it should be as easy for each and every one of us.
I defend every child's right to a proper education.
I defend every human being's right to shelter, food and healthcare.
I defend every human being's right to choose what happens to their own bodies.
I defend every human being's right to be happy and feel safe in their world.
I defen…

Forget His Politics For A Minute

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.
William Arthur Ward

I'm as critical of Donald Trump, if not more, than most. I don't like his political views, his goals or his ideals, but truth be known, the things that bother me about him most are not political in nature. In fact, the single most telling sign we were headed where we are now, lies in his disposition and it's not something one can fake.

I've never seen a spontaneous photo that shows joy on his face. The joy that comes from looking at your spouse, your child or a beautiful view. I don't like that he doesn't have a dog or a cat, and rumors have it he never has. I don't like that he never speaks candidly about his favorite book or movie, his favorite composer or pop artist. I don't like that despite his great wealth, his lone known piece of art is a portrait of himself. I don't like that he doesn't speak like any other president or t…

Old Posts

I do not do it often, but every now and then, I glance back at old posts to see where I was in my life. This morning I looked and realized I was coming to the end of something I tormented friends with, called 100 Days of Hopper. In this day, in 2014, I wrote of my decision to leave Westchester for good and all the reasons. There was no joy in leaving and definitely no joy in staying. The change in my life has sadly had very few positives. It's changed me. It's made me more cynical, if that were possible. It's made me question the humanity of others and see people without their facade. It's also made me pay attention to what they say, and I believe I've learned to read messages between lines they don't realize they've revealed. Sadly, I don't really believe I've found much out about myself, other than the walls my mother described so often. She could always set me straight, even if only for a while.

I also read a post about that one friend. The one w…

Ed Lavandera:

CNN has a journalist named Ed Lavandera and while filming the flooding. He kept rolling, kept reporting as an elderly man was removed from his home. He kept reporting while pulling the elderly man onto a boat. He then pulled the family's dog on, still reporting. Then he paused, as he relayed the message to the studio that the man's wife was bring brought out, he said "Give us a minute. She has Alzheimer's and we don't know what condition she is in. It was a rare moment of compassion in a field where a photo or a sound byte is everything. Moments later, the woman was filmed, but he demanded the cameraman put down the camera and help, reassuring the woman "you look great,"

Forget that this reporter was putting himself in harm's way, doing more than he was sent to do. Forget he showed basic human decency by assisting in rescues. In the height of the madness, when people don't think straight and most reporters would be thinking about their careers, p…

I Wonder If...

I left the library today. Three movies in my hand, knowing one was at home. I thought about how I'd be back on Monday to return them. Who knows if the woman with her three kids, one in her arms, maybe three, four months old, and two others, maybe four or five, wanted one of them. The automatic doors opened and I was immediately hit with the smell of a diesel exhaust. The gray haired lady approaching winced and her nose twitched like Tabitha. She gasped a little, then passed. I turned the corner and saw a woman in a short black dress checking under the hood of her car, almost leaning in far enough that the workers across the street would be rewarded for their stare. I walked down the street, passed a bow legged old man, wearing a slightly too small blue polo shirt, with a tattoo reminiscent of Popeye. I nodded, then thought of whether he was a sailor and if he'd seen battle. A muscular man with ear buds passed again, almost trying to bump shoulders with me on the more than wide…

Sharing Space: Do Unto Others

I've never been a neat freak, but have always taken pride in how I treat other people. While living in other people's homes, even if for a single night, I've always made sure to, at the very least, leave it as it was before I arrived. I do not think we can excuse people based on age or ignorance. I don't think being respectful of other people's property, especially their homes, is a learned behavior. I simply don't believe one needs to be told to be respectful to do so.

Living in other people's home has taught me a lot. I've learned that the expectations other have of me are very often the exact behaviors they lack within themselves. I've learned that my level of respect both for their material items, privacy and general comfort, is not always reciprocated. I've also realized that sarcasm and playful jokes are not effective in remedying these inconsistencies. Many times I find, it's just easier to do what needs to be done and move on.

The re…

This Nazi Stuff

I had to unfriend someone on Facebook yesterday.
I have three rules about friends, as it relates to Facebook.

Don't get nasty with my other friendsDon't lie about meDon't you ever fucking sympathize with Nazis Now here's the thing. I don't think this kid realizes he's sympathizing with Nazis, but that's somewhat how Nazis began. The naive, the complicit, the cowards and the stupid, didn't want to ruffle any feathers, so they either went along or stayed quiet. A few years later, six million Jews and many millions of others were killed. This is known. This is taught in school, by our elders and it's clearly understood that while history has a habit of repeating itself, never again will we allow Nazis to be a thing, especially in the United States of America.
So it's 2017 and I have a friend, an ex-friend, because I'd likely lay him out if he stood by his posts, whose comparing some group called Antifa to Nazis. Now, I'm not up on my Antifa …

Funny Patriostism

I just spent the better part of an hour writing an epic blog on American Patriotism. As I reached the end of what had turned into more of an essay, I realized something. I had spent the entire time explaining what isn't patriotism, referencing many things I've read or heard lately, in defense of patriotism. It was all nationalism, socialism , capitalism, Marxism, communism, conservatism, liberalism and a few other ism I don't know the names of, but nothing was patriotism. It then dawned on me that patriotism isn't a love of country anymore, but a love of a country we all desire, but as the current culture has shown us, isn't attainable.

My main theme was "we all hate Nazis."
Another theme was "we all SAY we hate white supremacy."
Finally, the last theme was, "do we really love our neighbor?"
I deleted that and this is all that remains

Nearly every great politician has spoken of patriotism in terms of questioning one's government, f…