Thankful? I've written about this before. Why are people thankful for things they should be grateful for? To be thankful, is to be happy you have what you expected to have or, in most cases, relieved it's not worse. It's simply a feeling. In many ways, a superficial feeling. I'm thankful when someone sends me a Christmas card, but I'm grateful to have them in my life.
So why is it, in a day when our consumerism is at it's peak, when we cause stress on others to do things we should all do often, when we waste time, energy and money, are we thankful? Before rolling your eyes, realize for most of us, holidays are a stressful burden. A time when we put on a happy face, so that others don't have to see our daily troubles. Are we really thankful for that?
I will be spending my third Thanksgiving alone. Two years ago, I sat in an ice cold house, watching a movie. I don't even think I made dinner. Last year, a lonely motel room. One of two people in the entire complex. A kind stranger offered me a plate. This year, I'll be content, and yes, thankful to have a home, albeit not mine. I will be grateful for the food, however simple it may be. I will try to be festive in my own way. Grateful to a small handful of people. I'll think about the nearly 11 months I've gone without seeing my niece, my brother and sister-in-law. I'll get to see table spreads, where the yearly competition to see who can throw out more food will sicken me. I'll read news and wonder about those who are worse off than I am. I'll feel sadness and be grateful for what I have and that won't be a feeling. It will be determination. That next year, I'll be in a spot to offer my home to others, as my mother did every year. To those without family, friends or the means to "celebrate" a single day. A tradition our family sadly let die with her.
I'll hear stories of those who didn't appreciate someone being rude or someone lacking respect, but will know better. I'll think about a few who may be spending their last or sharing it with someone who is. I'll think about others and hope they are enjoying their day, never once thinking about whether those thoughts are reciprocated. I'll think about the children I know and take great pleasure in their naivete,
I'm not angry. Please don't misread this. I was the year before, and the year before that. Not this year. This year, I''ll be thankful to cook, but grateful for the food. I'll be thankful for the quiet, but grateful it's not merely loneliness. I'll be thankful I'm where I am in my head and grateful for the reasons why. I'll be thankful for the physical pain being gone and grateful for the small opportunities it's given me. I'll be thankful for a paycheck and grateful for those who were able to help when I had none. And as silly as it may sound to most, I'll be most thankful for the bed I sleep in and grateful for the little furry friend, Swag, who has in some odd way, understood my moods better than any human over the last two years. I like to think I protect him, but I know it's the reverse. He's changed my view of animals and I assume, if they knew, they'd be thankful.
I do hope people enjoy themselves. I realize the stress of planning, preparing, travel and relatives is a chore, but it's only a chore, because we make it one. The irony of Thanksgiving is, those who are most thankful, usually feel so after it is over, and I'm truly thankful I don't have to endure that irony.
So why is it, in a day when our consumerism is at it's peak, when we cause stress on others to do things we should all do often, when we waste time, energy and money, are we thankful? Before rolling your eyes, realize for most of us, holidays are a stressful burden. A time when we put on a happy face, so that others don't have to see our daily troubles. Are we really thankful for that?
I will be spending my third Thanksgiving alone. Two years ago, I sat in an ice cold house, watching a movie. I don't even think I made dinner. Last year, a lonely motel room. One of two people in the entire complex. A kind stranger offered me a plate. This year, I'll be content, and yes, thankful to have a home, albeit not mine. I will be grateful for the food, however simple it may be. I will try to be festive in my own way. Grateful to a small handful of people. I'll think about the nearly 11 months I've gone without seeing my niece, my brother and sister-in-law. I'll get to see table spreads, where the yearly competition to see who can throw out more food will sicken me. I'll read news and wonder about those who are worse off than I am. I'll feel sadness and be grateful for what I have and that won't be a feeling. It will be determination. That next year, I'll be in a spot to offer my home to others, as my mother did every year. To those without family, friends or the means to "celebrate" a single day. A tradition our family sadly let die with her.
I'll hear stories of those who didn't appreciate someone being rude or someone lacking respect, but will know better. I'll think about a few who may be spending their last or sharing it with someone who is. I'll think about others and hope they are enjoying their day, never once thinking about whether those thoughts are reciprocated. I'll think about the children I know and take great pleasure in their naivete,
I'm not angry. Please don't misread this. I was the year before, and the year before that. Not this year. This year, I''ll be thankful to cook, but grateful for the food. I'll be thankful for the quiet, but grateful it's not merely loneliness. I'll be thankful I'm where I am in my head and grateful for the reasons why. I'll be thankful for the physical pain being gone and grateful for the small opportunities it's given me. I'll be thankful for a paycheck and grateful for those who were able to help when I had none. And as silly as it may sound to most, I'll be most thankful for the bed I sleep in and grateful for the little furry friend, Swag, who has in some odd way, understood my moods better than any human over the last two years. I like to think I protect him, but I know it's the reverse. He's changed my view of animals and I assume, if they knew, they'd be thankful.
I do hope people enjoy themselves. I realize the stress of planning, preparing, travel and relatives is a chore, but it's only a chore, because we make it one. The irony of Thanksgiving is, those who are most thankful, usually feel so after it is over, and I'm truly thankful I don't have to endure that irony.
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