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Showing posts from August, 2011

Ten Places I'm Dying To Go To (And Ten I'm Not)

I have done very little traveling and it kind of sucks.  I'd love to see a lot of different places, but there are also destinations I have absolutely not desire to see.  I think most of the places I want to go to are for the food.  Most of the places I don't want to go to are just because of the people who have told me they are great.  We'll see.

Places I want to go.

10. New Orleans - been there for Mardi Gras.  Wanna go back just to eat.
9. Australia - I know I'm dying by shark attack, why not go down under for it?
8. Italy - completely honest reason...I want to know just how little Italian Americans know about food.
7. Mount Rushmore - I have no idea, but I want to see it in person. 
6. Paris - I want to sit and eat pressed duck while sipping on delicious wines.
5. San Diego - Everyone I know who has been says it's the greatest place on earth.
4. Ireland - I want to show those pale fucks how a real man drinks.
3. Portland, Oregon - food, climate and did I mentio…

Random Thoughts: Things I LIke/Don't Like Lately

I liked it last night when an elderly man saw my Red Sox shirt and shook my hand.  Then told me, "I hope you enjoy the game, right up until the end." I dislike older people who think they are entitled not to have manners.

I like when people who haven't known me very long get me. I dislike when people who have known me for years don't get me....still.

I like when I see an older brother hold his sister's hand when they cross the street.  No matter what age they are.  I dislike when I see kids teasing other kids, because I know it's not their fault.  Their parents are assholes.

I like when I wake up in the morning and my shoulder hurts, because someone I care about was laying on it all night. I dislike when my knees and back hurt from doing stuff I used to do forty hours a week.

I like the passion that Democrats show when they are concerned with a cause.  I dislike the fact that Democrats are so lackadaisical about the things they don't care about.

I like th…

Hurricane Irene: The Day I Dropped The Ball

Irene started coming in sometime Saturday evening.  I laughed at Irene during the day and enjoyed some "storm is brewing" cocktails with friends.  As places started closing early, I continued the party, with full knowledge I had to be there for someone if things were to go bad.  As the rain began to come down harder, so did the beers and shots.  My friend came in and explained that she'd love to stay, but she had to get home because they were closing the roads.  We returned to her house to some flooding in the basement.  During this time, I fell asleep on the couch, while she spent the entire night dumping buckets of water.  

The next morning, I tried to defend myself, tried to make sense of it.  She was exhausted and I was well rested.  I did a very small part, but after the mess, not during it.  Not in the middle of the night, after she had worked 12 hours.  She had been up for more than 24 hours straight.  I had slept half the night.  It wasn't fair to her.  In h…

You're All Superficial: Gifts

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that I do not think or act the same way as others. I don't react to situations as others do and my reactions are sometimes seen as inappropriate.  I'm rarely politically correct, because i believe political correctness is usually one's way of saying, I have no morals or standards that I live by, so let me go with the majority.  The biggest difference I see is in the act of gift giving.

I've gone out of my way to buy someone something expensive and to much different responses than expected.  I've had people splurge on me, only to react in a way that let them know that they didn't really know me.  This can even be said for family members.  Even they struggle to know me.

I could give someone a diamond necklace, but if their reaction was one of utter jubilation, it would be at that very moment that I'd know, they weren't for me.  It's not to say I wouldn't think they are worth it, but there has to be a …

The MIxed Bag Blog - Suggested By Friends On Facebook

I recently wrote in a status update that I needed some suggestions for blogs.  A few people blurted our their suggestions and being that a few of them were ideas I didn't think I could write a whole blog about, I decided to combine their suggestions into one blog.  Below is my take on a wide variety of oddball topics.

The first person said they could inspire me.  While they have inspired me in ways, I don't feel it's right to disclose such information in a blog.  They've inspired me to be happy again.  Not just, laughing and joking with friends, but to feel an inner happiness that was lacking.  I'm going through a rough patch and people always think I'm strong, because I don't let things bother me. The truth is, Smokey Robinson's Tracks of my Tears is probably the perfect theme song for me.  The initial line, "people say I'm the life of the party, cuz I tell a joke or two," can sum up how I'm feeling most nights.  In the last few weeks…

The 25 Greatest TV Shows of All-Time

I was recently looking at a list of 100 greatest television shows of all-time and realized just how bad the shows on TV right now are.   There was not one current show other than a news show and three variety shows, two of which have pretty much jumped the shark.

In making my list, I tried not to romanticize my childhood, so there will be no Incredible Hulk or Six Million Dollar Man.  I tried not to overstate what's fresh in my mind, so there will be no Master Chef.  I'm using two criteria.  First, how much did this show impact me at the time and second, would I watch this again and have it still impact me.

As many know, I stray from the norm, so there will be no Seinfeld or Friends.  There will be no Lost or American Idol.  There will be no reality shows.  There will be no single events, such as the Super Bowl.  There will be no specials, though mini series will be included.  For the sake of this blog, I have gotten rid of foreign TV, so there will be no Monty Python (which w…


I wish I had money.  I wish I had money to give me the freedom to do some of the things I've been dreaming of.  I don't want to circle the world in a hot air balloon.  I don't want to eat at every great restaurant in the world....OK, I'm lying, that is exactly what I would do if I was rich.  But that isn't why I want money.

I want money because I have ideas.  I have an idea for a game show.  I have an idea for a reality cooking show.  I have an idea for a novel.  I have an idea for a screenplay.  I have an idea for a non-profit organization.  I have an idea for a new sports pool.  I have an idea for a vacation.  I have an idea for a house I want to build.  I have an idea for a dinner I want to cook.  I have an idea for a business I want to start.  I have a lot of ideas.

It's 5:01 now.  I have no ideas.  I just wish I wasn't here and I was there.  Listening to her breathe.


I was reading some of my older blogs and I've realized that I have become soft.  I have gotten downright silly at times.  I need to get back to my roots.  I need to start using this blog for what it was intended.  Free Fucking Therapy.  I think recently I've tried to get a laugh from one or two people, but lost sight of the fact that this used to really help me.  So here it goes,

Recently I've had some online debates with people over politics. As everyone knows, I live in the heart of conservative Eastchester and my opinions stand out more than Chris Christie at a salad bar.  This debate started with me making a comment on a friend's page and snowballed into a few people attacking me, some personally.  Now, I'm always up for a debate as long as the playing field is even.  Sadly, the most vocal opponent is to intelligence what Courtney Love is to class.  The arguments are so painfully stupid, that at one point a friend messaged me and said "how can you take thi…

Hypothetical Scenario: Republican Point of View

A girl's ex-boyfriend got her pregnant, beat the shit out of her, stole all her money and broke up with her at a bar.  You walk into the bar, see she's in need of comfort and start talking to her.  You know you can't make everything better in one night, but you really like her and want to do the right thing.  You start dating that night. 

According to the Republican point of view: You're the father, you're being brought up on charges of assault and theft and the ex-boyfriend is absolved of everything thanks to you.  I think I'm starting to understand now.

Bachmann/Palin 2012.  The Democrats need someone to blame...oh wait, if they are elected, it's still our fault?

The Most Dominant Athlete of Our Time

I am 41.  I have watched MJ and Jeter get ring after ring with the rest of their All-Star teams.  I watched Tiger Woods, pre-meltdown.  I watched Kobe and Shaq.  I watched Bird, Johnson, Kareem and Dr. J.  I watched Gretzsky and Lemieux. I watched Edwin Moses and Carl Lewis.  I watched Larry Holmes, Mike Tyson and Julio Cesar Chavez. I watched Bill Rodgers and Grete Weitz.  I watched Javier Sotomayer jump 8' (the second most amazing athlete ever).  I've seen many, but in my opinion, for seven years, there was only one athlete who changed the way I watched baseball.  Pedro Martinez.

Pedro Martinez was one of the few players in team sports that made you forget about everyone else on the field.  When he pitched, everyone seemed to be in awe.  For seven years between 1997 and 2003, he set a pace which was impossible to compete with. At somewhere between 5'9-5'11 and 170 lbs soaking wet, Pedro dominated from start to finish.  During that time, he pitched to an incredible 11…

Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills

If you've been paying attention to the news today, you've heard that the trio called the West Memphis Three has been released from prison after 17 years of incarceration.  I'm not going to blog and let my personal feelings of the judicial system bias what this movie depicts, but everyone should see it.  For every Casey Anthony case, there are many more of these.  Three adolescents who aren't smart enough or rich enough to defend themselves against lynch mobs.  These boys, accused of taking three other boys lives, had in return, their lives taken away for seventeen years.   Below is a link to the first movie on Netflix.

While not as powerful as it's predecessor, the second part, filmed three years later is equally as harrowing.  Below is a Netflix link to that film.…

A Few Theories I Have

Women are given a handbook at birth called "never let them know what you mean." Men receive a handbook that is called "and a side of bacon."

Man got too cocky in the 80's and now all pizzerias suck.  Tombstone is officially the best pizza made.

Fashion is cyclical.  I was with a girl wearing a snap bracelet watch, then saw girls wearing daisy dukes and a guy wearing mirrored shades.  Thank goodness I saved all my Zubaz pants.

The rise in gas prices is a test.  Bottled water costs more per gallon and nobody realizes.

Your teenage girls dressing like whores is punishment for you wearing a jeans jacket with a Stryper patch on it.  Or was it Winger?

Pixar movies are proof that drugs aren't really all that bad.  Drugs are proof that you can watch pretty much anything that looks cool.

About three years ago, Oprah relieved God of his duties.  How else do you explain Obama being fortunate enough to run against an old codger and a blunt force trauma victim?  Oh wait…

Kicking Feng Shui's Ass

A lot of people have theories on why relationships work.  Some trust the zodiac, some believe online dating questionnaires and some people believe in fate.  People also believe that how their furniture and tapestries are placed mean inner peace.  Some think money can't buy you love and some believe it can.  There are a lot of things that come into play, but I believe there is one thing that truly determines if a relationship has any chance at all.  Where one sleeps.

I remember listening to a friend of my parents speak one night.  He was a spiritual man.  By spiritual, I mean he smoked a lot of weed and most of his experiences were bi-products of a combination of the drugs and the fact he was looking for answers.  He spoke about relationships and he went around the table and asked the people (mostly couples, but some divorced) which side of the bed they slept on.  All the marriages going strong had the man sleeping on the left side when facing the bed, those who had suffered relati…

Some Completely Irrelevant Things People Don't Know About Me

I have hit Michael Kay with my car (very lightly).  One year later I had his nephew in one of my sports classes.  As a gift, they gave me a Yankees hat.  On a side note, the other side of the family was cousins with wrestling's McMahon family.

I rarely check my real mail every day, but my e-mail constantly.

I once stayed awake (in college for over 100 hours straight doing a paper).  It's the only grade on a paper I received lower than a B+ on.  It was Kinesiology.

While running down the street in NYC, I once knocked Gene Shallit on his ass.  He got up and said "Fuck You!"  I said "You're Gene Shallit!"  I was 14.

 I once drank a fifth of Gordon's Gin and two 40oz of Old English 800 in one night....when I was 13.

I skipped 3rd grade and got held back in 10th.

I scored a 92 on a Mensa practice exam....I also went to summer school twice.

Once during Monday Night Football my buddy Kenny and I ate either 120 or 140 Buffalo Wings before the game ended.  T…