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Hurricane Irene: The Day I Dropped The Ball

Irene started coming in sometime Saturday evening.  I laughed at Irene during the day and enjoyed some "storm is brewing" cocktails with friends.  As places started closing early, I continued the party, with full knowledge I had to be there for someone if things were to go bad.  As the rain began to come down harder, so did the beers and shots.  My friend came in and explained that she'd love to stay, but she had to get home because they were closing the roads.  We returned to her house to some flooding in the basement.  During this time, I fell asleep on the couch, while she spent the entire night dumping buckets of water.  

The next morning, I tried to defend myself, tried to make sense of it.  She was exhausted and I was well rested.  I did a very small part, but after the mess, not during it.  Not in the middle of the night, after she had worked 12 hours.  She had been up for more than 24 hours straight.  I had slept half the night.  It wasn't fair to her.  In her defense, she joked about certain aspects of my idiocy.  She made light of the fact I tried to cover my mistakes.  She then spent the rest of the day with me.  She made me dinner and she fell asleep in my arms.  I didn't deserve any of it.  I deserved to be sent on my way.  I deserved to be alone, to think about what I had, or should I say, hadn't done.  I deserved to be as upset as she was the night before.

This morning, I'm alone and she's back at work.  She left me laughing; a smile, a kiss.  I can't stop thinking about how much I messed up.  We've only known each other a short time and this was my time to shine.  To be the man and to prove my worth.  Somehow I managed to mess this up.  It was selfishness.  It was silliness.  I've told her how sorry I am, but it's not enough.  Somehow I have to make this up to her.  Make it up to myself, because I feel awful.  I have no answers other than to say, next time I'll be there.  I hope there is a next time.

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