Hop's Thoughts

With the end of 2011 only hours away, I've decided to come up with some resolutions.  These aren't things I want to try and accomplish, these are things I need to accomplish.  All of these resolutions will be achieved. Period.

In the past year and a half, I'd lost about 55 lbs. I've probably gained about 10 of it back since October.  My goal is to get down to the weight I was when I first hurt my knee by the end of the year.  That's roughly another 20 lbs. 

I will become a little more active in finding a job (career) that suits me. I have been a little lax as of late and I need to find something soon.

I will address my sleeping problems and try and curtail my late night activities that add to the problems.

I will be a better listener.  I'm a great talker, but recently, I haven't always been the best listener.

I will treat myself, at least once a month to something I enjoy, such as a fine meal or something I might want.

I will try my hardest to see the good …

Everyone knows my knack of getting up to the jukebox and playing Spice Girls and Hanson, but these are not those songs.  Are they better?  You be the judge.  Here are my top 21 songs of 2011.  I may have missed a few or maybe i just think your taste in music sucks.  Well here they are.   Some songs may be from 2010, but were released during this year.

21. Raise Your Glass - Pink
20. Good Man - Raphael Saadiq
19. Give Me Everything - Pitbull w/ Ne-Yo, Afroman and Nayer
18. Honey Bee - Blake Shelton
17. Price Tag - Jessie J f/ B.o.B
16. Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes w/Adam Levine
15. Yonkers - Tyler, The Creator
14. Save The World - Swedish House Mafia
13. Sick Of You - Cake
12. A Thousand Years - Cristina Perri
11. Mean - Taylor Swift
10. Firework - Katie Perry
9. Stone Rollin - Raphael Saadiq
8. Lonely Boy - The Black Keys
7. Edge Of Glory - Lady Gaga
6. Knock Knock - Mac Miller
5. Video Games - Lana Del Rey
4. Rolling In The Deep - Adele
3. Nasty - Nas
2. Jar Of Hearts - Cristina …

2011, as have the last three years, has been a tumultuous ride, that for the most part has not been very enjoyable.  The parallels to 2009, arguably my worst year since my mother died, have been uncanny.  I have tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it, as it always is, happens to be a train.  For the coming year, I go into it with a bright outlook, but I also know how these things lay out.  Just because the Calendar on the wall changes, doesn't mean the wall changes.  It's just a shinier, newer version of the same old shit.  What I need is to paint that wall.  To make it at least appear different.  We'll see.  You never know, maybe this is my year.

January came in with some harsh weather and caused my car to die. Not bad, for a $1000 investment, in which I put exactly $400 into it in two years.  $700 a year for a solid, reliable car?  Not bad.  January was going on like all others.  Playoff football combined with drunken debauchery and an awful New York Jet…

Last Friday I mentioned on Facebook how little I enjoyed the bus ride up here. I left 50 degree weather to enter into a 26 degree night. The cold doesn't bother me, it's the frigid dankness.  The air always has that feel to it. The surrounding lakes give that vibe that it's always two seconds away from rain or snow.  The air at times feels even heavy.  That being said, this place is usually a time for me to relax and recharge the batteries. This time around, it was not to be.

My stay was affected by a serious lack of sleep.  Between night time sleep and naps, I was able to muster about 20 hours while her, plus whatever I get tonight.  I have my alarm set for 5 hours from now, but I'm not even tired.  It's taken it's toll and I do feel a little run down.

Thanfully, I was able to recharge my good eating battery.  The trip started out with a thid, as my father had leftovers of the pot roast he made. Not that he made it poorly, but pot roast is one of my least favo…

I am already going to hell. 

1. I haven't heard one Kwanzaa song yet.

2.  Hanging out with a 98-year-old telling past Christmas stories must be like hanging out with me on a Saturday night. You're guaranteed to hear the same story multiple times and with different outcomes.  Plus, I like to doze off mid thought.

3.  Can you imagine any Jewish person during the high holy days going into a store and saying "How much does the CHALLAH COST?"  I apologize to my mother for that one.

4.  How did Jesus become Santa, his disciples become Reindeer and Pontius Pilate become the Grinch?

5.  I have never seen a menorah tied to the roof of a car.

6.  Whenever I see girls dressed really slutty right after Christmas, it always makes me think what their father's were thinking while they were opening presents.

7.  You ever notice how much joy drunk adults get by tackling a snowman?  Kinda fucked up being they know kids made it.

8.  I think the most epic moment of anyone's lif…

I've had a serious problem sleeping this holiday season. Normally when I come to my father's house I sleep much better than at home. Not this trip. I've been here since 8pm Friday.  At the moment, I've been here for 81 hours.  I've slept for a total of nine hours.  I am feeling the stress of no sleep and I'm not happy. It's affecting my mood.  My mood has affected others.  Some of have turned that mood around at times, some haven't been there for me. It's the holidays, they might have been busy. 

Coming up Ithaca it made me think of little things I miss dearly.  Some of the things, I miss because I'm not here, some I miss because I am and some, well, I've been missing for some time now.  Living along has it's perks, but the number one thing I miss is having breakfast with someone.  More than anything, I miss waking up earlier than whoever I'm with and making them breakfast in bed.  What can be better, than waking up, putting on a pot…

Anyone that knows me, knows I love to eat and I am very critical of most places.  I grew up eating things like moussaka or paella every couple of weeks.  It was more likely we'd have lamb burgers with tzastiki sauce than a regular hamburger.  I can count the times a year we had pizza for dinner on one hand.  Chinese every other Friday, maybe.  Sushi once a week.  When I was younger, I had escargot at least once a week. Then we moved to Westchester and the level of food dropped significantly when dining out, but it only enhanced dining in.  My mother would make things like duck, rabbit or squab.  Sure we had boring things like breaded cutlets, spaghetti and roasts, but those seemed like oddities.  We always ate well and it changed me. 

One thing that has always been instilled in me, regardless if I'm dining in a top notch restaurant or grabbing pub grub.  The care it's made with an the company you dine with makes all the difference.  I've eaten a perfectly cooked porter…

Once again, my good friend Insomnia has grabbed hold.  I was texting a friend and I explained my intentions of going to sleep.  I wished her a Merry Christmas and tried to sleep.  After about twenty minutes, I dozed off, only to wake up two hours later. I am now wide awake, a second night of less than three hours of sleep.  I started thinking about my childhood and the anticipation of Christmas morning. 

I was never one of those kids who couldn't sleep or went right to bed, fearing Santa wouldn't stop by.  Usually the presents were under the tree before hand and my curious self would run over a light inventory of the packages marked for me.  Of course, Mom and Dad would inevitably have hidden on or two of the better items.  I remember as a young boy always spotting the Nerf football that was a Christmas staple.  This gift was usually one needed out of necessity, as the previous years looked like a pit bulls chew toy.  The funny thing is I can't remember any gifts I've …

14 hours ago I got on a bus to come see my father and grandmother. The trip was long and tedious.  I dozed very briefly, but for the most part I entertained myself by texting and looking over the seat in front of me as a guy watched Mad Men on his laptop.  I've never seen Mad Men before but from what I gather, the entire show is about smoking, drinking and extramarital affairs.  Definitely not for me.

I finally arrived at my father's and settled in with some dinner.   Ironically, my father had made pot roast.  I know I am the only American alive that feels this way, but I can't stand pot roast.  Never have and never will.  Cooking a shitty piece of meat for a long time does make it tender, but it still makes it shitty.  Sorry Dad.  Looking forward to some seafood tonight and duck for Christmas dinner.

I'm a little stressed, because Christmas just isn't what it used to be.  We don't even exchange gifts anymore.  I thought, or should I say I had hoped to share so…

I was going to write a blog about the best movies made in the past two years, but being that I only watch movies on DVD (hate going to the theater), my list is too short.  I do have four movies at home which I was told are good, but haven't had the patience to watch them.'  That coupled with the fact that I only rated four movies with five stars in the past year, makes it more difficult.  Hands down the best movie I've seen made in the last two years was Winter's Bone.  We'll see if it holds up when I get around to this. 

So instead, I am going to write a to-do list for the next 14 days.  Many of the things are simple and some are almost guaranteed without me trying, but after a discussion with someone a week ago, I think a list is an important thing to make.  So here it goes, in no particular order.

1. Enjoy my holiday without the stress that has been bothering me.  I hope not, but this may be my grandmother's last Christmas.  At 98, you have to "start&q…

Let me start off by saying that the last two, maybe three years have not been my finest.  I've had some good times and I've had some bad, but for the most part my life has been in disarray.  I've made mistakes and I've made some good choices.  I've been hurt and I've hurt others.  I have trusted those I shouldn't have and forgot about some I should have paid more attention to.  I've lost people and have friends who have lost loved ones.  I've been angry and I've been thrilled.  I've run the gamut of emotions almost on a daily basis and most of you have read all about it.  I have been an open book since "finding" Facebook and part of my thinks that must change.  There are some who love being a topic or a mention in my blog, but there are others who wish to remain anonymous.  I really need to find an outlet for a lot of my frustration and boredom.  I also need to find a source for more happiness.  All that being said, I've had so…

Since my mom passed away, I haven't really celebrated Hannukah.  When she was alive, we lit the menorah, spun the dreidel and we definitely had latkes with our meal.  Hannukah isn't known for it's meals, but my mother would always make a brisket at some point.  We always had matzo in the house, but then again, we did most of the year.  When I was little I would receive presents every night, but as I got older, I'd usually just get one big present.  I must say, getting little presents eight nights in a row was pretty awesome as a kid.  While I've never been religious, I do miss the festival of lights. 

One thing dawned on me recently while discussing the holiday time of year.  All the years I was alive, Christmas trees and wreaths adorned many homes and businesses, but menorah's and dreidels were few and far between.  Do you know what?  Nobody commented.  There wasn't a bunch of people protesting or complaining about their absence.  I don't know if it…

Last Friday I was giving two kids tennis lessons.  It was about halfway through the class and the little girl in the class was acting up.  She was being silly and wasn't paying attention and I was getting a little frustrated.  She's an adorable little girl, but she loves to act out.  At one point we were picking up tennis balls and she walked over to me and asked me if I had seen her dog tags.  I said, I saw them around her neck, but didn't know what they said.  They explained that she has diabetes, what kind of diabetes she has and lists her parents phone numbers.  She read all the information with such pride.  The class was coming to an end and I wished her happy holidays and she wished me back.  I told her I'd see her in three weeks and all of the sudden she got this sad look on her face.  She asked me why three weeks and I explained that there is no school for the next two Fridays and that we wouldn't meet again until January 6, 2012.  She said that made her sa…

Christmas songs are generally awful.  They are filled with Hallmark sentiment and are as sincere as me telling you God Bless.  Aside from a small few, they are generally geared towards the pagan aspects of Christmas and not the religious.  Every year a new cover of an old classic comes out and everyone hoots and hollers about it and within a few years it disappears from our memories.  Normally I'd have a top ten list, but I'm hard pressed to think of ten songs off the top of my head where one or two wont nauseate me.  So here it goes. 

5. Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC - When this came out during the opening scenes in Die Hard, everyone went nuts.  It wasn't the first Christmas rap, but it was and still is the best.  It's funny and hits on all the traditional aspects of Christmas in a completely new way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR07r0ZMFb8&ob=av3e

4. Wizards in Winter - Trans Siberian Orchestra - Technically not a song, because their are no vocals.  It may no…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nIRJVmZ4K8&feature=related

I know people have more important things in their life than to listen to me rant and rave about religion, because I have my feelings and you have yours.  I would do nothing ever to criticize anyone's beliefs unless they tried to push those beliefs on to me.  I've had it done and crushed people's attempts.  Not with contempt and nastiness, but with intelligence and common sense. The link I attached above is the genius Christopher Hitchens questioning the existence of a higher power.  It is one of the many videos in which he does so and with an eloquence that is unmatched.

During this time of year, we get a lot of religious arguments.  Christ in Christmas has already been attacked in this blog, so I'll desist.  I was raised to question everything.  In doing so, it's become evident that in my world, there is no God.  I stated on Facebook this afternoon, that I always doubted God, but after reading the Bibl…

I read this on Facebook this morning.  A friend had posted it and said that every child should have to receive this. I of course read it and started to think.  I immediately wondered who really wrote this, as I rarely see things like this attributed to the proper person.  I immediately found it was written by Conservative Charles J. Sykes when he wrote a book about how America is dumbing down our youth.  I read it twice and started to wonder how true it was.  Below is a link to the actual picture I saw.





So let's look at each of the rules and analyze them.

Rule 1: Life is not fair — get used to it! - Life is not fair in that we are not all afforded the same opportunities based on race, creed, color, socio-economic background, but in general, those who are afforded the same opportunities to succeed are very often rewarded for their individual efforts.  Sure there may be underlying circumstances, but hard work is proven to pay more often than not and those who strive for success, migh…