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Can't Sleep - A Christmas Carol

14 hours ago I got on a bus to come see my father and grandmother. The trip was long and tedious.  I dozed very briefly, but for the most part I entertained myself by texting and looking over the seat in front of me as a guy watched Mad Men on his laptop.  I've never seen Mad Men before but from what I gather, the entire show is about smoking, drinking and extramarital affairs.  Definitely not for me.

I finally arrived at my father's and settled in with some dinner.   Ironically, my father had made pot roast.  I know I am the only American alive that feels this way, but I can't stand pot roast.  Never have and never will.  Cooking a shitty piece of meat for a long time does make it tender, but it still makes it shitty.  Sorry Dad.  Looking forward to some seafood tonight and duck for Christmas dinner.

I'm a little stressed, because Christmas just isn't what it used to be.  We don't even exchange gifts anymore.  I thought, or should I say I had hoped to share some Christmas cheer with someone, but that wasn't to be.  I also had hoped to get together with a friend, but that too failed, but we'll connect after the new year.  I also had some traditions snapped, much to my dismay.

I guess it could be worse.  One Christmas a few years ago I stayed home.  I was sick as a dog and spent the entire day in bed.  My Christmas dinner consisted of a bagel with cream cheese.  Not one of the finer holidays.

It's tough emotionally this time of year.  I know I miss my mother more and more during these times.  I have good friends who have lost people close to them this year and I feel their pain during these days of supposed joy.  I will raise a glass to them and the one's they lost.  I will be saddened for those I can't be with,but I will enjoy those who I can.  For you never know when you'll be without them.


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