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Showing posts from May, 2009

Anticipation

When was the last time you looked forward to an event and it lived up to your own self induced hype? I mean I look forward to sporting events all the time and many times they are epic battles, but did they live up to what I had envisioned? How many times have I gone out for a game and it went into extra innings. Sure the walk off home run got me off my chair at 1am, but I had to check the box score the next day to make sure I wasn't imagining this, because I was so drunk the night before that I had no clear memories.

How many times does a dinner engagement live up to the preconceived thoughts about it. The company is great, but the food is off that night, and while a good time was had by all, maybe you got stuck in two hours of traffic afterwards. What about the Thanksgiving dinner where you stuffed yourself to the gills only to get sick later that night. It's happened to me twice and it's my favorite holiday.

What about that girl that you can't believe your with? In th…

Ideas for Future Blogs

I don't have the creative juices flowing today, so I thought I'd list some titles I've been going over in my head and a summary of their content.

Youth in Asia - Mercy killing or a cute giggling girls in school girl outfits?

Dick Cheney & George W. Bush - shouldn't we have known if we stuck a dick into a bush administration, somebody would be getting fucked?

General Tso - China's answer to Colonel Sanders?

Strip Malls - not exactly as advertised.

Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson - would have so much more meaning if she was a leper.

Well maybe I'll get a little more in depth at a later date

Just the facts, ma'am

When did the facts in an argument become so unimportant? Was it during the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction? Was it earlier when Bill Clinton lied about having sex with "that" woman? Was it even earlier when Bush Sr. said "read my lips. No new taxes!" Was it when Reagan lied about funding illegal wars in Central America or selling arms to terrorist countries? Now this isn't a political conversation, I'm just trying to make a point. It seems that facts don't seem to hold much weight these days.

I recently had an ongoing political debate with an acquaintance on facebook and it occurred to me that the younger generation is even worse than mine. The younger generation believes that he who yells loudest and makes the last statement wins. They don't take much time to prove their point with facts, because to them, it is unimportant.

Let's get away from politics for now. Let's look at every day conversations. Steroids, for instance. Players know…

Looking Back At School

In today's world we have so much more information at our finger tips, it's only logical that today's kids are smarter than yesterdays. Only problem is, they aren't. What is happening? If I had the Internet in grammar and high school, I would have spent about a quarter of the time writing papers. Even in college, I had some serious hours logged in the library. Why are kids getting dumber?

It seems to me that in my father and mother's day, work ethic was stressed in every day life and especially in school. Kids learned at a very early age that hard work equaled success. This isn't necessarily true, but it is a pretty solid foundation in which to raise your children. Today's kids don't have a care in the world. I know kids today who are in high school and college who not only don't want to work, but refuse to work. In my generation, I'd be thrown out of the house. In my parents generation, a pretty nice belt mark would be emblazoned on a child's…

A few random thoughts

One would think insomnia would provide someone who is a procrastinator the extra hours needed to accomplish stuff. For some reason I just think of more reasons not to.

A decent steak costs $15 at the supermarket. I will not pay $25 for a good steak, but I will pay $45 for a great steak.

For anyone who may be a lawyer. Can you advise me on how to sue the Internet for my weight gain and lack of motivation?

When little girls start to develop they get a training bra. Some women are obviously just quitters.

I wonder if any girl has told her man "it's not the size of ship, it's the motion in the ocean" and then threw up on him.

The other day when it was hot out I didn't wear socks. My sneakers got pretty smelly. I thought this was a bad thing, but have you ever noticed that stinky feet smell exactly like original Doritos?

People that go on crash diets so they can speed date have obviously not learned their lesson.

If the Internet has taught me anything, it is that I must go t…

That Kindergarten List

Remember a few years back that dopey list came out titled Every I ever really needed to know I learned in Kindergarten? Well I happened upon it recently and realized it's complete horseshit. Let me break it down.

1. Share everything - this sounds good, but you will be called a socialist or fascist and people will hate you. He with the most toys at the end wins. Isn't that what Bill O'Reilly would have you believe this country was founded on?

2. Play fair - playing fair never seems to work. Somewhere, someone is cheating and they are benefiting from it. If you want to get ahead, cheat. It works for politicians, baseball players, CEO's and illegal immigrants. Why shouldn't you cheat to get ahead like everyone else?

3. Don't hit people - sorry, some people just deserve a smack.

4. Put things back where you found them -especially when you're rifling through someones drawers looking for money. The only time this is true is if you lift a child up. Put him back, becau…

Rain Rain Go Away

All I've heard from people on the radio, on TV, on Facebook, in person is "when will this rain stop?" People, shut the hell up. Rain is a beautiful thing. It makes things grow, it brings us rainbows, and on those special occasions it dampens the spirits of people who are perpetually happy. I hate those people anyway.

Rain gives us opportunities we don't normally have. Just the other day I caught my neighbor attempting to run between the drops, her white button down shirt moistened by the spray from the heavens. As I sat in my car with a Ted Bundy grin, she got closer. I had moments ago cursed the droplets as they pelted me, but they had now transformed this completely average 9 to 5 businesswoman into a dreamlike girls gone wild pixie. She disappeared as quickly as my libido had risen and I drove off thinking about how much I loved this shower of H2O.

Rain also gives us more common pleasures. Is there anything better than curling up on a rainy day with a book or a good…

Peter Luger's Steakhouse

About five years ago a group of my friends had reservations to go to Peter Luger in Brooklyn. Being a former Brooklynite, I was very excited. The night before we were to go, my mother, who was fighting cancer, took a turn for the worse. I backed out of the festivities and missed what was hailed as the ultimate steak. Two evenings later, my mother passed away. Shortly after my mother's passing I was out with one of the members of the Luger evening and after offering his condolences, pledged that we would make another reservation. Our group decided on Election night. Since that first night, we have since gone to Smith & Wollensky's, Bobby Van's, Jakes, and returned for a second showing at Luger's.

Luger's doesn't look like much when you walk in. An average size bar, a check in area that looks like a betting window at a racetrack and old wood tables with no table clothes. Some say the waiters are surly, but they are probably just tired of dealing with years of …

BBQ's

Well BBQ season is upon us and I'm excited. Every year I get invited to a number of BBQ's and low and behold, someone of you are going to be shocked, but I have some complaints. No, I'm not complaining about being invited, I'm complaining about the rules that are always broken. Here are my top ten items that everyone should adhere to.

1 - Don't be cheap. Everyone invited should bring something, but should call the host/hostess and ask what to bring. I always get pissed off when we have this hot grill ready for meat and veggies and everyone brings dessert. Who the hell wants dessert at the end of a BBQ? I want MEAT! Sure if someone grabs a fruit platter or a watermelon that is always great, but what's with all the desserts? Also, if you bring a veggie burger, you should immediately be thrown out the door. I'm all for grilled veggies, but no veggie burgers! I don't care if your vegan or Vulcan, no veggie burgers on the grill.

2 - Serving the food. Host/host…