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Showing posts from April, 2014

Free Writing - Take 41

Seems like forever since I visited this silly page. What started out as a way to joke and point fun at all things ludicrous ans absurd, my life included, then turned into movie reviews without any real review and some type of therapy. I realize now, how alone I am. The rain is keeping me awake, tickling my ear drums with it's soft sounds, as it cascades down some metal object out my window. It's ironic it would choose today. I stress, as in four hours I must defend myself against an injustice, I allowed to myself to succumb to. People always seem to be pushing the little guy, figuratively speaking, down. So today I stand up for myself. I feel like a child, asked to stand in front of the class and perform, never truly understanding the question. The once bright future, seems as dim as the light which shines on my weary face. Hiding the torment of the last few years. It truly hit me, when a stranger pointed out my decent. Not in anything other than my choice of words as once hap…

Easter Morning - I Have Risen (Way Too Early)

Asleep a little after 12. Awake at 2 and now it's 4. Perusing the media outlets that contain friends and strangers. Regrets and possibilities stare at me. Wish I could go back and take that walk and change the course of personal history. Wish I could get that one break that would propel my dimly lit future. I see potential partners everywhere, both romantic and business, but it never comes together. My mind is both 25 and 65, as I approach 45. My body is 85, getting older by the day.

I lay, thinking about my last few hours, of which I have 32. There will be a wonderful meal, shared with my father and some friends. My brother, his wife and the dog will be absent. I miss them. I show my emotions to no-one anymore. Years of pain have taught me that nobody cares for the tears of this clown. My face is covered with grotesque slots and marks, medicines seem ineffective and the stress is tearing at me. I need to be able to look people in the eye. A potential boss or maybe a date, but my …


YOUR PICKS 1Jadeveon Clowney
DE, South Carolina 2Greg Robinson
OT, Auburn 3Johnny Manziel
QB, Texas A&M 4Sammy Watkins
WR, Clemson 5Blake Bortles
QB, UCF 6Khalil Mack
OLB, Buffalo 7Jake Matthews
OT, Texas A&M 8Teddy Bridgewater
QB, Louisville 9Anthony Barr
OLB, UCLA 10Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
DS, Alabama 11Derek Carr
QB, Fresno State 12Eric Ebron
TE, North Carolina 13Mike Evans
WR, Texas A&M 14Taylor Lewan
OT, Michigan 15Aaron Donald
DT, Pittsburgh 16Kony Ealy
DE, Missouri 17Louis Nix III
DT, Notre Dame 18Marqise Lee
WR, USC 19Darqueze Dennard
DC, Michigan State 20Zack Martin
OT, Notre Dame 21Ryan Shazier
OLB, Ohio State 22C.J. Mosley
ILB, Alabama

2014 MLB Predictions (Yes, I realize it's three weeks late)

I hand wrote my predictions about a month ago and never posted them to my silly blog. So here they are.

American League:
East - New York Yankees
Central - Detroit Tigers*
West - Oakland Athletics
WC - Texas Rangers and Boston Red Sox

The Yankees will bounce back with a healthy Jeter and Tex. The addition of Ellsbury and McCann will help, but Beltran is the key, because he allows for Soriano, Ichiro, Gardner and Ellsbury to rest and/or play DH.  The Tigers will continue their dominance of the Central, due largely to their big 3 again. I know the popular picks are the Rangers and Angels in the West, but I'm loving the A's this season. They dominate at home and in a close division, that will be the difference.  Texas is too strong with their young players not to make the layoffs and Boston squeaks by Baltimore, Anaheim and Tampa Bay to get the last spot.

National League:
East - Atlanta Braves
Central - St. Louis Cardinals*
West - Los Angeles Dodgers
WC - Washington Nationals and …

Free Writing - Take 40

3:31 staggering towards the dimly lit hall, is it age or the coffee. A mid sleep trip to the bathroom that awakens me nightly. I look in the mirror and my tormented skin. My squinted eyes try to deflect the light and the frustration. Acne escaped my teen years, but has come after me with a vengeance. Everyone has their theory, as do I. I shuffle back to bed, sip from the water bedside. I crank the window open and the crisp air touches my warm face. I smile; birds chirp, but not to bother, but to chat, like two close friends, sharing their sorrows or is it their pleasures?  I roll over and reach for something. Am I asleep already or is the dream that preceded my trip coming back. It was pleasant, yet innocent. A trip to a cabin, they're always a cabin. Quiet, desolate, safe. Money, phones and stress have no place here. Two small to stretch out, we pull the blankets over us. She tells me of her fidelity and I tell her of my honor. I embrace her gently and we drift off. The birds tal…

The Pluses & Minuses Of Living Alone

Leaving the toilet seat up whenever you want
Not having anyone to blame when you fall in at 4am

Movie night: Horror
Nobody to protect from the scary parts

One egg omelets
Nobody to remind you to buy eggs

Saturday and Sundays laying in bed without plans
Saturdays and Sundays laying bed without sex

Toilet paper lasts twice as long
See that comment about eggs

Food bills are minuscule
Dining alone is depressing

Dinner is slightly overcooked, but nobody to critique it
Realization you made enough for two meals

None of her friends calling "to chat" at all hours
Nobody for you to chat with at any hour

Not having to clean up after yourself
Not liking the state of your apartment and the depression it causes

Never having to make your bed
Never having it look like a mess for the right reasons

Eating entire meals in bed without any worries
Waking up to food stuck to your leg in the morning

Not having to go to bed because someone else is tired
Staying awake all night because you miss tha…

A-Z Of What Is Pissing Me Off (2014 Edition)

I did this a few years ago and without looking back to see what I wrote then, I'm going to write a new one.  Interesting to see if the same things are on both lists or if I've evolved or devolved.  Here you go.

A- Ads. During the Olympics we hit a new low with 22 minutes of commercials for eight minutes of coverage.
B- Buses. I'm so sick of taking buses.  I used to love long drives.  Buses suck.
C- Climate deniers. Really? This shit seems normal?
D- Dumb people. They  truly are everywhere you look.
E- Envy. For the first time in my life, I've found myself envious of a few people.  It's an ugly feeling.
F- Facebook. It's become the whiniest, bitchiest, attention craving, miserable fucked, weather obsessed piece of shit website ever, but I stay for pics of my friends kids and stories of their accomplishments.
G- Guns. If you still think it's the people that are the problem, you're not educated in the crime rates in other countries.
H- Health obsessed lect…

Free Writing - Take 39

Today I lost a friend. Well, not exactly a friend, but a follower. A Twitter acquaintance that got fed up with a few days of negativity. It struck a chord. I have been. Do I have the right to be dismayed? Of course, but why should others be bothered? So what did I do? I punished myself. I won't get into how or why, but I neglected myself quietly, in an attempt to come to terms with a strangers annoyance. Silly? I don't think so. If someone that doesn't know me, saw ugliness, what did those close to me feel? Disgust? Should I have posted statuses about a trip in my shoes? For sympathy? Fuck sympathy. I need to man up and make changes happen.  First is to go to sleep before 5am

Quickie Review - Out Of The Furnace


This is the feel bad movie of the year. About as gritty and depressing as they come. That being said, the movie contains six of the best actors in the game and the casting is perfect. Harrelson is terrifying from beginning to end, Affleck is perfect as the stubborn younger brother with issues (possibly PTSD), Dafoe is slimy, but sympathetic, Whitaker is shockingly effective in a low key role, Shepard is the voice of reason and Bale is fantastic as the burdened lead. Add the lovely Saldana, as the heartbroken ex, looking fit stability in a world with very little brightness and you have a winner. The only complaint would be one silly scene early on and
a prophetic give away scene halfway through, but minor complaints. Not going to make anyone feel good about the world, but very effective.

Free Writing - Take 38

Money is the root of all evil or so they say. I have to agree. In our quest to attain it, even the smallest amounts more than we started with, some of us block out everything else. We forget the protocol and the rules, with our greed, for $5, $10 more turning us into animals that we keep caged in other cases.

Those are those who win money and freely share it with those around them and then there are the missed. There are those who dismiss the unwritten rules and those who purposely break them.  Those who extend the hand in gratitude, above and beyond are few.

Might seem very cryptic, but when you count on people doing the right thing and they don't, it can become catastrophic and cause stress you don't deserve. $5, $10 or $15 from one or two people isn't the be all end all, but when it becomes 15-20 people, it adds up. Now I have to take fiscal responsibility for their greed. And at a time I'm counting my singles to figure out how to get to work and back and what I…

Stretching Chinese Food

Being frugal, broke and sort of trying to lose weight, I have come to the realization; Chinese food is the most economical way to make take-out a substantial substitute to regular shopping. Of course, you're going to need a few staples at home.

The other night, I was in the mood for wings, but didn't feel like paying $11-13 for a handful. So I called my local take-out joint and made a small order. The chicken wing combo (comes with fried rice & an egg roll), cold noodles with Chef's special sauce and one extra egg roll. One filling meal, but I had other plans. The entire check was $15.

I took the wings out (10) and wiped the rice off. Melted two tablespoons of butter in a skillet and dumped in the hot sauce. I then tossed the wings for about two minutes until completely covered in the sauce, threw them on a plate with some sliced carrots I had and I was enjoying delicious buffalo wings for half the cost of the local bar.

The next morning, I made a poached egg and place…

Random Thoughts

Been a while since I did this, but they are a plenty.

My dreams have been talking to me lately, both vividly and directly.

Mistakes made the past six weeks have me down, but they are all that kept me going during this time.
The kids have been out of control, but the stories are amazing.

If you ever want to know how much more money means to people than friendship, run a pool.

The hardest I've laughed in the last few days has been inside a taxi. Step it up people.

Facebook has me wondering if people honestly believe that their personal and/or family inadequacies are really societal issues. Parents need to be accountable for their children.

A year ago I talked on the phone 2-3 hours a day with friends.  Last month I spoke on the phone less than two hours total.

I've learned over the last year that physical pain is the single most exhausting thing one can endure. It makes me appreciate a few special people even more.

I personally don't believe in two common medical/psycholog…

Free Writing - Take 37

Eyes heavy, I take a pill. Sleep hits me immediately, but then the sound of rain awakens me. I stretch, thinking, what time is it? Four? Five? No, it's just midnight. Two hours. That was all and now I stare. Up at a black void. My life? The future is imminent and it's going to hurt. Thinking back to hours before, or was it days? Smiles. That moment when your close, to the point knees touch, one inside the other, but there is no romance, just comfort and trust. My phone's system changing trust to tryst, like it knows. Mocking me, ever so subtly. Two, three friends demand my attention and it is given immediately, without question, I am there. I never fail them, but then when I begin to speak, to look for that same behavior, I see their eyes withdraw, bodies turning, to kook at something, anything. The words fall on ears so deaf, caused by the booming sounds of selfishness. I reach out further, but they are gone. Physically sitting, nodding, performing an act of brilliant dec…

National Autism Day Is Every Day For Some

A few years ago, I had a class of kids who had all knew each other since kindergarten. They also put a boy from a different grade in who was a little bit different. This class was rambunctious and a bunch of wise-asses and I saw their faces when this other child entered. I was worried.

The first day, the team that received the new guy, was very upset. They ran in front of him to make catches and throws and despite this the boy didn't care. They did. I said nothing. By week three, a few kids realized, despite not being aware of the rules, he could hit, run, catch, kick, etc.

By week five he was getting congratulations and high fives from a few. By week seven, he still couldn't grasp all the rules, but the snickers had turned to encouragement. Then one day we were playing basketball and his team was winning. Everyone on his team had scored, so the other kids stopped trying to win and tried to get him the ball. What was amazing wasn't that his teammates did such s wondrfu…

Quickie Review - Gravity

Academy award nominee? Despite some beautiful special effects and at times a visual feast, Gravity is nothing more than a cheesy Lifetime movie. A script written in such a scattered way, with plot holes bigger than space's infamous black holes, the movie is so laden with sap, it could have been served with pancakes.

Bullock and Clooney are enjoyable, but this movie has every cliche imaginable. At 91 minutes long, some may accept it's mindlessness, but good grief, it even has a rebirth, a Marvin the Martian sighting and two or three "wait, didn't they just say not to do that?" scenes. Paired with an awful score, the visual experience is lost, by this bungled attempt to create the epic space catastrophe film. Truly an awful experience, that ironically never gets off the ground.