Free Writing - Take 37

Eyes heavy, I take a pill. Sleep hits me immediately, but then the sound of rain awakens me. I stretch, thinking, what time is it? Four? Five? No, it's just midnight. Two hours. That was all and now I stare. Up at a black void. My life? The future is imminent and it's going to hurt. Thinking back to hours before, or was it days? Smiles. That moment when your close, to the point knees touch, one inside the other, but there is no romance, just comfort and trust. My phone's system changing trust to tryst, like it knows. Mocking me, ever so subtly. Two, three friends demand my attention and it is given immediately, without question, I am there. I never fail them, but then when I begin to speak, to look for that same behavior, I see their eyes withdraw, bodies turning, to kook at something, anything. The words fall on ears so deaf, caused by the booming sounds of selfishness. I reach out further, but they are gone. Physically sitting, nodding, performing an act of brilliant deception. My words only background music as they wait for me to stop so they might use my ear for their woes. Mine already forgotten and yet, I thank them and tell them I'm here, as they walk away. Friendship?

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White Privilege

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