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Free Writing - Take 41

Seems like forever since I visited this silly page. What started out as a way to joke and point fun at all things ludicrous ans absurd, my life included, then turned into movie reviews without any real review and some type of therapy. I realize now, how alone I am. The rain is keeping me awake, tickling my ear drums with it's soft sounds, as it cascades down some metal object out my window. It's ironic it would choose today. I stress, as in four hours I must defend myself against an injustice, I allowed to myself to succumb to. People always seem to be pushing the little guy, figuratively speaking, down. So today I stand up for myself. I feel like a child, asked to stand in front of the class and perform, never truly understanding the question. The once bright future, seems as dim as the light which shines on my weary face. Hiding the torment of the last few years. It truly hit me, when a stranger pointed out my decent. Not in anything other than my choice of words as once happy posts on social media, turned into attacks on levity and happiness.  Today could be a tiny battle, won or lost, or could be
the beginning of something I'm not prepared for. Either way, I need to take a stand. How much easier must it have been in the times of swords and armor, when answers to feuds lay solely in one's own hands. Ah, there I go again, romanticizing a mundane thing. I think
I'll shut my and try and sleep. The simplest pleasure, so foreign to me. When I think about it long and hard I've never slept in this place I call home. It's because it's never felt like a home. Devoid of any of the things that make a house a home; laughter, joy, music love or the most simple of all, a heartbeat.

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