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Showing posts from April, 2009

Red Sox Fan in NY

Anyone who knows me knows I am a die-hard Red Sox fan. No I never lived in Boston, never went to school there, never was molested by a Yankee, or had any family who hailed from there. Nope, I just love the Red Sox.

To be honest, when I was younger, I actually liked two teams: The Yankees and the Phillies. Basically, I liked who my parents liked. Mom was from Long Island and dad was from Philly. Thus my baseball devotion was split. To be honest, it was easy to like these teams. The Yankees won the series in '77 & 78' and the Phillies won in '80. My youth was quite enjoyable from a baseball standpoint. But there was only one problem. My favorite players were either Phillies or Red Sox. My favorite Yankee was probably Willie Randolph or Ron Guidry (who I still believe is the best player in baseball history, not in the Hall of Fame), but honestly, my favorite American League player was Carl Yastrzemski. I also loved Jim Rice and Fred Lynn. Even though I liked the Yankees, I…

The seven deadly sins...are they bad?

The Catholic Church preaches about the Seven Deadly Sins and the horrors of such sinning, despite the fact the sins themselves are not listed in the Bible in any form. There are lists of virtues, but nowhere is there a list of these sins. I am not a religious man, so I say...are they really bad?

Lust - lust was seen as bad, because such lusting after another human was seen as one's love in God being secondary. Then why if you are lusting properly does the other person yell "oh God!" Listen if there is a heaven, there is a lot of lusting going on, because honestly, it's one of our primal needs. Animals have sex, bugs have sex, people have sex. The need for that sex is not developed, it is inherent. Chastity is seen as a virtue, but that has to be taught. Now lusting after farm animals. That is just sick. Unless of course you promise to eat them afterwards. Hey, I'm sure a sheep would rather go out with that kind of a bang than one from a shotgun.

Gluttony - is over-…

How I Beat Anorexia!

Anorexia nervosa is defined as a mental illness characterized by low body weight and a distorted body image, with a severe fear of gaining weight. I would like to say, I have conquered this illness and now have some other mental illnesses to work on.

Listen, I'm no Jared from Subway, but I feel my story should be told. If I can help just one emaciated sole, I have done my job. It was a long fight, but I conquered my demons, and now I am not only twice the man I once was, but I provide small children with shade on hot summer's days.

It all started in the summer of 1988. I had just graduated high school and a friend of mine liked to drive around all night while I got drunk. So each night we'd buy some Doritos and a case of beer and a few of us would drive around. The weight started to rise, but I'd usually drink too much and puke, causing me to lose my nutritional overload. I guess I beat bulimia too when I come to think about it. I continued this charade, while slipping i…

John Madden Retires - Finally

Yesterday, John Madden retired as a football announcer. Yesterday I turned the volume up on my television. John Madden is a hall of fame coach and announcer and for what I'm not quite sure. He was successful as a coach but really didn't coach long enough to warrant hall pf fame status. His greatest achievement was slapping his name on a video game that changed the way sports games looked. Ironically, I think over the years the game, like the announcer has gotten worse.

My biggest problem with John Madden is that he's a TV announcer. If he was a radio guy, I'd appreciate his analysis, but when I watch a guy get tackled, I know he got tackled. I don't need someone telling me he got tackled. Adding bam, bop, pow or any other Batman-like sound effect doesn't change the tackle for me. He is truly Captain Obvious. He once said "offensive lineman are the biggest guys on the field, because they are the biggest, and this is what makes them the biggest guys on the fi…

One a lighter note, yeah right!

I apologize to anyone who actually cares enough to read my blogs for not posting one yesterday. I have promised myself not to write when I am annoyed, as I might post something to offend someone. Who am I kidding? I am sure pretty much everything I write offends someone. Frankly, I don't care. Here's my problem with everyone today. There is no individuality anymore. Everyone wants to be like someone else or be part of a popular group. Reality TV and our new wave of pop culture shows us that being petty and stupid is cool. Following the mainstream is the way to go. People, step right up and drink the Kool Aid, because you know what, if you are one of these dime a dozen people, you might as well kill yourself.

When did thinking for yourself become a uncool. I go out on any given night and I talk smack about Sports, Religion, TV, Politics, Child Rearing, Music or any other multitude of topic. You know why? Because I can. Because I know enough about any number of topics to carry a …

What happened?

In the past twenty years the things that matter most to me have changed so drastically I sometimes wonder if I am the same person. Did I get a lobotomy? Are body snatchers real?

In 1989 I was always avoiding my parents and family. In 2009, I cherish the moments I have with my father, brother, and grandmother. They are all the real family I have left and it makes me wonder if I didn't miss out on some stuff from yesteryear.

In 1989, I looked at females and wondered what they looked like naked. In 2009, I wonder if they can carry a conversation for 15 minutes without mentioning some reality TV show and if they actually know what is going on in the world.

In 1989, I loved sports, but wouldn't care if I missed a game. In 2009, I never miss a big game. While this aspect of my life might seem childish, it's those special moments in sports that bring me happiness.

In 1989, I loved to fight. Seriously, it's sick, but I loved it. I got into some fracas almost every weekend. I almos…

Baby Bucket List

Everyone knows about the Bucket List. The list of things you want to accomplish before you die. Well, I don't plan on dying this year, but there are a few easy things to attain that I would like to try before this year ends. I've been slacking and I've let three and a half months go by before starting this list. So here it goes. Now mind you, these are not monumental achievements, but things I could probably accomplish in a weekend, but probably won't for any number of reasons.

1. Play Beer Pong - as a professional beer drinker it's almost criminal that I have not played this game. It seems to me to be the perfect sport for me. For some reason I have never played. To be honest, I've never even seen the game being played. Can someone please invite me to a game. I love to drink, I love sports, and who doesn't like Mononucleosis? It's the Kissing Disease!

2. Try Foie Gras - it's rich and bad for you. PETA is against it. How could this possib…

All about Facebook

When I first joined Facebook, or FB as the kids call it, I said to everyone that it would be the demise of friendships and relationships everywhere. I figured people would get drunk and post something on someones wall when they meant to send a message and all hell would break loose. Not to mention that everybody "friends" their exes. Hell I am friends with almost all my exes. Almost everyone I've ever slept with is a friend. I'm friends with other people's exes also. To be honest, I'm friends with people I don't really like that much. I'm friends with one or two people I don't even know. Who cares? I know I don't but some people do. I'm friends with exes and their spouses. I'm friends with a girl whose heart I broke, but you know what? We're friends in real life. I'm friends with people who broke my heart, but you know what? We're friends in real life also. People say life goes on and actually, it does.

The reason I like fac…

Holy Week

I find it kind of funny that the week that includes Passover and Easter is called Holy Week. Since when are the most important dates on the religious calenders for Jews and Catholics hyped like a used car ad? Surprisingly enough, if you ask most people what the biggest holidays are they will say Christmas and Hanukkah. After all, most people are stupid.

So how do we celebrate Jesus' resurrection from the dead following his crucifixion? We color eggs, eat chocolate bunnies, and pig out. Nothing quite says thank you lord for dying for our sins quite like chocolate bunnies. Seriously, what the f***? Who thought of this? We'll get back to this. One thing I guarantee most Catholics don't know is that Easter is the Greek word for Passover. Sure, the Bible states that the wine was eaten after the bread, which is the reverse order in a Passover Seder, but it's semantics, the Last Supper was a Passover meal. Then there's the famous Da Vinci painting. I think onl…

The Last Time the Yankees Won

For years I was a long suffering Red Sox fan. Then they won and everything changed. The shoe was on the other foot, or should I say sock? Now it was the dreaded Yankees on the outside looking in. Most Yankees fans answer every question with "26 Rings baby." I've always thought this was kinda funny, because it was always either you win it all or you're nothing before then. It sure does seem like a long time since that October day in 2000 when they last won.

How long has it really been? Bill Clinton was in the White House. Matchbox 20 was popular. Tom Hanks was stuck on an island having odd relations with a volleyball and Russell Crowe was just becoming a household name. Hell that blond hottie from Heroes was the coach's little daughter in Remember the Titans. It was so long ago steroids weren't an issue. As a matter of fact, the Yankees probably lead the league in guys who ended up testing positive. Thank you Mr. Canseco.

The most notable difference was obviousl…

Maslow and Today's World

I was taught a lot of things during my many years in school. I say taught, and not learned, because I don't really feel I learned that much. Many things I was taught I already knew. Many things I was taught aren't so anymore. Many things I was taught were opinions of people, given a position of authority, and hammered into the heads of innocent minds. One thing that stood out in my years of schooling, and one thing which still resonates today was the Hierarchy of Needs developed by Abraham Maslow in the Early 1940's.

Maslow studied the top 1% of college students and of exemplary people such as Albert Einstein. This pyramid of needs is put in order of importance, with the basis of life listed on the bottom and the top being self-actualization. Now while his "research" only looked at the elite, it struck me as quite accurate, in that so few of us realize our own self worth, many for reasons decided in the lower levels of this pyramid. I feel today, as I have met tho…

Remember your first time?

Do you remember your first time? I remember mine. I was nervous. I didn't know if it would live up to the expectations. There could have been a million people around, but it was just the two of us. I gazed lovingly, awe struck by the beauty. It was right there in front of me for the taking. I spread the sides gently to see what was in store. I could see it glisten and could smell it's deliciousness. I leaned in and soaked in the aroma. I nibbled at it and the juices flowed down my chin. I couldn't believe how moist it was. I knew this was a moment I would cherish for the rest of my life. In seconds the experience was over. In a way I was let down, because it was over before it started. There would be other times. Maybe it was because it was my first time, maybe I was just overzealous. Who knows, but damn that first Piper's Kilt burger was delicious.