When I first joined Facebook, or FB as the kids call it, I said to everyone that it would be the demise of friendships and relationships everywhere. I figured people would get drunk and post something on someones wall when they meant to send a message and all hell would break loose. Not to mention that everybody "friends" their exes. Hell I am friends with almost all my exes. Almost everyone I've ever slept with is a friend. I'm friends with other people's exes also. To be honest, I'm friends with people I don't really like that much. I'm friends with one or two people I don't even know. Who cares? I know I don't but some people do. I'm friends with exes and their spouses. I'm friends with a girl whose heart I broke, but you know what? We're friends in real life. I'm friends with people who broke my heart, but you know what? We're friends in real life also. People say life goes on and actually, it does.
The reason I like facebook is that it allows me to keep up with friends without being intrusive. I can read their status updates, their comments, look at pictures of their kids and not have to speak about it every time I see them. Which leads me to the best part of facebook. Hey, Moms and Dads out there. You love your kids, you think they are the most adorable thing ever, and you know what...nobody, and I mean nobody wants to spend 20 minutes of their life looking at their pictures or listening to them try and talk. Facebook allows me not only to look at my friends kid's pics, but not have to discuss them or hear the play-by-play of what was going on when it was taken. Even better, when I see them and they start to talk...I can say "saw them, facebook." It's truly beautiful.
Speaking of pictures. I gotta little bone to pick with everyone over the age of sixteen. If you feel the need to purse your lips, give the middle finger or the shocker, or pose for every pic in the exact same pose. You're, you're, you're a freaking imbecile. I'm sorry, every time someone takes a picture, why would anyone feel the need to pretend to kiss the camera? It's idiotic. It's also not very original. It also dawned on me that facebook has changed the way people go out. Who the heck takes pictures every time they go out? I've gone out quite a few times and in all those times, I think I've taken three pictures. I will also tell you this. I have never and will never take a picture of myself out. Seriously, even in foreign countries you can get someone to take your picture. Finally, Why do you feel the need to extend your arm and take the pic? What is that all about?
Status updates. The root of all evil. Wanna bash a team, tell someone something cryptic, maybe even quote someone and try and pawn it off as your own original thought. Well that's what status updates are for. I love saying the Yankees suck, or mentioning what I did with someone without giving their name, and quoting the Bible but using the name Ed instead of God. People think it's mysterious and spooky. Then they comment and you feel like you own the world. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit. I usually make jokes or try to antagonize the mentally less fortunate with my posts. You wanna know what I hate more than anything. When someone writes "John Doe is." How existential? The people that write this must be so smart. They are one with the world. They exist...let's give them a big hug and tell them that when they figure out how t write real sentences we'll give them a piece of chocolate. This infuriates me.
I thought school taught me that most people are stupid, materialistic, and insensitive, but school doesn't hold a candle to facebook. Listen there is nothing wrong with keeping things simple, being proud of what you have achieved and talking about it. That is fine. But listen, if you make a comment on someones page arguing with them, back it up with facts, even if you are making them up. Don't just make silly comments. If you put an update on about something or someone, take into account that what you are writing might hurt someone the message wasn't intended for. If you buy a house, be proud and show pictures. But or God's sake, we don't need to see every square inch of it, we don't need to know what it cost, and we definitely don't need to hear this every day for weeks on end. If you're going on vacation, all the best to you. Enjoy it with whoever you are sharing your time with. Get back put some pics up, we love it. What we don't need to hear is the blow by blow vacation recap. One nobody cares, and two, if we don't get six weeks vacation, we don't want to hear about every trip you take. Finally, teachers, and yes I work in a school so I get these benefits, stop complaining about how hard your day was. You work five hours half the days of the year. Most people work 8-10hrs 220days a year and make half the money you make. I apologize to all my teacher friends, but you guys know you have it good. Also, if you are a stay at home mom and every status update is about you getting your hair and nails done, getting drunk during lunch and going to spas....stop it! Child Services will be calling you shortly. AND PEOPLE! If you have kids, could you occasionally write something positive about the fact you have them. All I ever read is negative comments about pulling their hair out, crying, screaming. Single mom's & dad's, you are absolved of this wrath. You have the hardest job out there.
I love the lists. The top fives. We all love lists and I love seeing what other people like. I love seeing some guy I always thought was a tough guy saying he likes Rick Astley and Milli Vanilli for his favorite singers. I love when a girl says she's a Sox fan. By the way ladies, just so you know, we guys love the fact you love your hair, but seriously, guys love chicks in baseball hats. More pics please, haha! I created some lists and was surprised by how they took off. Does facebook owe me money? I need some.
Now here's my biggest pet peeve. These stupid clubs or whatever they are. Sure I'm a fan of Criminal Minds, but I chose to be. I love the Spice Girls. What I don't want is every time I sign on to have to sift through all those invitations to >insert disease or cause here<. If you have cancer, I will hold you in my thoughts the way I did my mother, but me joining facebookers for cancer cures isn't going to do anything. I'm sorry people in the police and fire departments lose their lives every year, but I don't need to join a charity for them every time it happens. By the way, back off, my brother and most of my best friends are cops & firemen and they don't do this crap. If something is dear to your heart post it on your page and people who need to will find it. Stop throwing me an Easter Egg or a Brett Favre Jersey. or an afternoon cocktail and for heaven's sake...the rain forest is not going to be saved because you sent me tulips. If you wanna do something with your tulips...well, you get the idea.
The reason I like facebook is that it allows me to keep up with friends without being intrusive. I can read their status updates, their comments, look at pictures of their kids and not have to speak about it every time I see them. Which leads me to the best part of facebook. Hey, Moms and Dads out there. You love your kids, you think they are the most adorable thing ever, and you know what...nobody, and I mean nobody wants to spend 20 minutes of their life looking at their pictures or listening to them try and talk. Facebook allows me not only to look at my friends kid's pics, but not have to discuss them or hear the play-by-play of what was going on when it was taken. Even better, when I see them and they start to talk...I can say "saw them, facebook." It's truly beautiful.
Speaking of pictures. I gotta little bone to pick with everyone over the age of sixteen. If you feel the need to purse your lips, give the middle finger or the shocker, or pose for every pic in the exact same pose. You're, you're, you're a freaking imbecile. I'm sorry, every time someone takes a picture, why would anyone feel the need to pretend to kiss the camera? It's idiotic. It's also not very original. It also dawned on me that facebook has changed the way people go out. Who the heck takes pictures every time they go out? I've gone out quite a few times and in all those times, I think I've taken three pictures. I will also tell you this. I have never and will never take a picture of myself out. Seriously, even in foreign countries you can get someone to take your picture. Finally, Why do you feel the need to extend your arm and take the pic? What is that all about?
Status updates. The root of all evil. Wanna bash a team, tell someone something cryptic, maybe even quote someone and try and pawn it off as your own original thought. Well that's what status updates are for. I love saying the Yankees suck, or mentioning what I did with someone without giving their name, and quoting the Bible but using the name Ed instead of God. People think it's mysterious and spooky. Then they comment and you feel like you own the world. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit. I usually make jokes or try to antagonize the mentally less fortunate with my posts. You wanna know what I hate more than anything. When someone writes "John Doe is." How existential? The people that write this must be so smart. They are one with the world. They exist...let's give them a big hug and tell them that when they figure out how t write real sentences we'll give them a piece of chocolate. This infuriates me.
I thought school taught me that most people are stupid, materialistic, and insensitive, but school doesn't hold a candle to facebook. Listen there is nothing wrong with keeping things simple, being proud of what you have achieved and talking about it. That is fine. But listen, if you make a comment on someones page arguing with them, back it up with facts, even if you are making them up. Don't just make silly comments. If you put an update on about something or someone, take into account that what you are writing might hurt someone the message wasn't intended for. If you buy a house, be proud and show pictures. But or God's sake, we don't need to see every square inch of it, we don't need to know what it cost, and we definitely don't need to hear this every day for weeks on end. If you're going on vacation, all the best to you. Enjoy it with whoever you are sharing your time with. Get back put some pics up, we love it. What we don't need to hear is the blow by blow vacation recap. One nobody cares, and two, if we don't get six weeks vacation, we don't want to hear about every trip you take. Finally, teachers, and yes I work in a school so I get these benefits, stop complaining about how hard your day was. You work five hours half the days of the year. Most people work 8-10hrs 220days a year and make half the money you make. I apologize to all my teacher friends, but you guys know you have it good. Also, if you are a stay at home mom and every status update is about you getting your hair and nails done, getting drunk during lunch and going to spas....stop it! Child Services will be calling you shortly. AND PEOPLE! If you have kids, could you occasionally write something positive about the fact you have them. All I ever read is negative comments about pulling their hair out, crying, screaming. Single mom's & dad's, you are absolved of this wrath. You have the hardest job out there.
I love the lists. The top fives. We all love lists and I love seeing what other people like. I love seeing some guy I always thought was a tough guy saying he likes Rick Astley and Milli Vanilli for his favorite singers. I love when a girl says she's a Sox fan. By the way ladies, just so you know, we guys love the fact you love your hair, but seriously, guys love chicks in baseball hats. More pics please, haha! I created some lists and was surprised by how they took off. Does facebook owe me money? I need some.
Now here's my biggest pet peeve. These stupid clubs or whatever they are. Sure I'm a fan of Criminal Minds, but I chose to be. I love the Spice Girls. What I don't want is every time I sign on to have to sift through all those invitations to >insert disease or cause here<. If you have cancer, I will hold you in my thoughts the way I did my mother, but me joining facebookers for cancer cures isn't going to do anything. I'm sorry people in the police and fire departments lose their lives every year, but I don't need to join a charity for them every time it happens. By the way, back off, my brother and most of my best friends are cops & firemen and they don't do this crap. If something is dear to your heart post it on your page and people who need to will find it. Stop throwing me an Easter Egg or a Brett Favre Jersey. or an afternoon cocktail and for heaven's sake...the rain forest is not going to be saved because you sent me tulips. If you wanna do something with your tulips...well, you get the idea.
loved it. wink, wink!
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