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Showing posts from October, 2010

Stupid Ideas and Inventions

There have been many a great invention over the years.  There is the wheel, the Frisbee, and of course Gold Bond medicated powder (if you don't know you better axe somebody).  Recently, I've noticed that some inventions aren't that brilliant.  Some are downright silly.  These are a few of the items we would all be better without.

Sunday Night Football - Going to work on Monday sucks enough as it is, but thank you NFL, you've given us three and a half more hours to drink, when we've already been out for seven hours.  Couldn't you have just been a little kind and started the game at 7pm?  No, I have to wait an hour and watch Andy Rooney for a fucking hour.  Thanks a lot. 

TV Remotes - I'm as lazy as they come.  I'll drive two blocks to go somewhere, using the excuse that I may go somewhere else later.  It's pathetic, but I'm not so bad that I can't stand up and walk three feet to change a fucking channel.  I have watched as people look franti…

People Are Strange

I don't know if it's the ozone, dietary habits or the incredible ease in obtaining prescription medication, but it seems to me that people are getting stranger and stranger.  Now this isn't to say we didn't have our share of nut jobs back in the day, but the prevalence is increasing at an alarming rate. 

While growing up in Brooklyn, my parents had a tenant who took them to court, accusing them of stomping their feet in the middle of the night and waking him up.  He also said we had made rude remarks to him and were horrible landlords.  So he had his day in court.  Everything sounded like a valid complaint until he said that my brother (who was two at the time) would call him a "crazy homo" and that my parents used to pour hot wax through the cracks in the floor to burn him.  Case dismissed!  That was nearly 25 years ago and now that story almost seems tame.

Maybe I'm just more perceptive than I was in my youth, but the number of people who talk to thems…

Some Random Thoughts and Baseball comments

The great thing about a blog is that your thoughts are documented.  That is unless you're wrong.  Well at the beginning of the season I picked the Texas Rangers to come in last in their division.  I also only picked four of the eight playoff teams correctly.  That's the worst I've done in about 15 years.  I did however pick the Phillies and Yankees to play in the World Series again....but it looks, as of now, as I might be wrong.  I should get Kudos for having the Giants in the playoffs though.  Not many "experts" did.  I should say that I also predicted Texas/Philly in the World Series back in June.

So what else is going on in my head?  Here are a few things.

I have decided that I don't like cold cuts anymore.  Unless it's salami pr proscuitto, I'm not interested.  In the past few years it's dawned on me that cold cuts (especially Boar's Head) are as bland as a Michael Bolton CD.  Cold cuts has joined pasta on my "why the hell did I used…

Fantasy Football's Greatest Exchange

Anyone who plays fantasy football knows there is a message board.  In the past 12 hours, my last opponent responded to my smack talk and then I offered somewhat of a rebuttal. Not really, it was more of a concession speech.  We've had some good exchanges, but this tops them all. 

Last night my victorious adversary came out with this gem:

Hopper, Hopper, Hopper...my DEAR Hopper! You know, as I get older, sometimes I am forced to realize that I'm never going to fulfill all the dreams of my youth...I'm never gonna play pro football or roam center field for the Yanks, I'm never gonna be super rich or famous. Nah, I'll just struggle along and hope for the best like everybody else. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis thing, I don't know. But this realization can be tough. It first struck me a couple of years ago, and I have to say, it was hard. I was a little down, maybe even depressed.....then Zak talked me into joining a new rotisserie league that was being run by Ja…

Some Random Thoughts For the Day

Sometimes things stick in my head and I can't them out.  It's part of why I started this silly blog.  I know only a few people read it and most think it's silly or dumb, but sometimes it's like a therapist.  Sometimes you need someone to talk to who won't speak back and offer their unwanted opinions.  Remember what they say about opinions. Believe me, I know, I'm one of the most opinionated people around.  So here's some thoughts that are keeping me awake at night.  OK, anything keeps me awake at night.

You know you might have a drinking problem when you spend a night drinking and nobody gets any better looking.  This is not directed at any of my personal friends, because I only hang out with beautiful people.  Ok maybe I do have a drinking problem.

I watched a girl, about 17, driving a Mercedes run four stops signs in a row.  When I caught up to her she was on a cell phone.  She then proceeded to drive right through a red light.  How is talking on a cell p…