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Showing posts from August, 2013

Want to Win Your Fantasy Football League? Read This

Many people will be doing their fantasy drafts this weekend and while I don't pretend to be a guru by any means, I've had a decent history in drafting. I will also tell you right off the bat why I am not just another blowhard....I don't play fantasy football anymore.  Ever since I gave it up, I seem to be a freaking rocket scientist.  Last year, here were my sleeper wide receivers.

Cecil Shorts, WR, Jax - 55rec, 979yds, 7tds
Torrey Smith, WR, Balt - 49rec, 855yds, 8tds
Brandon LaFell, WR, Car - 44rec, 677yds, 4tds

I also told everyone who passed on a RB in the first two rounds to grab C.J. Spiller from Buffalo, who ended the season with 1200+ yards and six tds, but averaged 6.0 YPC. He also caught 40+ passes for over 400 yards and another 2tds.  I was however wrong on Jake Locker stepping up, but he didn't play every game, so I'll give myself an incomplete.

So here are my sleepers, followed by my potential good and bad.

QB
Cam Newton - passing stats should be bette…

A Few Thoughts For Parents & Kids For The First Week Of School

Apparently, my not being a parent means that I know nothing about parenting in some people's eyes.  Ironically, the number is about five times of people who have commented on my random blogs that I actually know what the hell I'm talking about.  Here's my resume.  I was the model student until about 7th grade. Then I became a complete slacker. Passing, but barely and rarely attending school. Then I took standardized tests and aced them, but seemed to manage to piss everyone on in the process. Did it hurt me?  I don't know.  I didn't get much out of high school from an intellectual or social angle, so I'm going to say no, but I do know that my earlier years were a pleasant game of give and take that molded who I am today.  I'm not going to get too deep, but just make some short recommendations based on my experiences and things I have seen over the years that are big issues with both parents and kids.

Dress - This is tough. You want your kid to fit in, but y…

Completely Random Not So Pleasant Thoughts

Can you imagine being a young impressionable black kid of about 10 years old and watching MLK and others on this day in 1963.  Can you imagine being a 60 year old black man today, seeing how little has changed?

You can not say you are 100% against the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and then sit there and tell me you're Pro-Life.

Minimum wage is $4 per hour less than the wage needed to be above the poverty line. That's $4 an hour. $32 a day. $160 a week. $640 a month. $8320 a year.  For many, that's what they spend on their yearly vacation.

People yell at me when I put down our judicial system. They say "Innocent until proven guilty!"  A man who was recently kicked out of a sex offender rehab program admitted to raping a teenage girl.  The judge said she "controlled the situation as much as he did" and was "old beyond her chronological age." He was sentenced to 30 days in jail.  The girl killed herself, because of the attack.  Oh yeah, the man…

My Facebook Dream - The Purge Style

Recently there was a movie called The Purge which detailed a country where crime was nonexistent because of one night of anarchy and chaos.  This is my dream for Facebook.  That one day, everyone would be completely anonymous.  I think about what I would do.  Remember, Facebook is technically all my "real friends."

As of today, this would be my list.

I would call out all the racists who feel the need to post every meme of a black kid killing a white person ever since Trayvon Martin was murdered.

I would call out all the hypocrites I know who openly cheat on their significant others, some married and praise how special they are on Facebook.

I would bash the fuck out of every mother who bought their teen a pair of pants that say "Juicy" on the ass, but find Miley Cyrus offensive.  Double bashing if they wear a matching pair.

I would question every parent who allows their high schooler to post pictures of themselves drinking, smoking and half naked in their bathroom.

Martinis vs Cocktails (Metaphor for our libido?)

It's amazing how much martinis are like one night stands. Despite them not being very complicated, we seem to take so much time and care to make them. We start them slow and finish them fast. Where as mixed drinks are like our relationships, where we add this and add that, basically knowing that the base is there and whatever we put into it will be enough to do the trick. Regardless of whether we sip them or gulp them, we always seem to try to get everything out of one before we go for another. So often requesting something different.

The Hypocrisy Of Bashing Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus was a child star.  Her father a one hit wonder on the pop country chart.  Now, 20 years old, the young lady is trying to shed her kiddie persona and become a woman.  She knows that to maintain her image would be to kill any chance at furthering her career.  I didn't follow her early career, so I don't know what kind of person she is, but to me, she seems on top of her game.  While the Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohans of the world are crashing and burning, she is just getting started in her adult career.  She might not have the acting chops of either of these two, but who knows.  Did anyone see cute little Drew Barrymore having the life she has had when they watched ET?  Did anyone imagine any of the adult success of Ryan Gosling when he was a mouseketeer?  I doubt it.

Miley Cyrus went on stage last night and did what every marketing expert on the planet couldn't do.  She got people to forget all the mega million dollar stars that were there and only remember her…

Quickie Review - Mud

I can't think of too many movies I've seen in the past year that I've looked forward to more than Mud.  After seeing, writer/director Jeff Nichols' first two films, Shotgun Stories and Take Shelter, I had incredibly high expectations.  When  I hear Michael Shannon was not the lead, I was concerned, but Matthew McConaughey's performances in Bernie and Killer Joe led me to believe he could convey the quirky dark qualities needed to be a Nichols lead.

Sadly, I was mistaken.  Mud falls short in reaching the level that the first two films did. This is not to say the movie is bad, because it isn't by any means.  It is just crosses a line that I've come to despise and the outcome was pure Hollywood.  The shining star of the movie are Tye Sheridan, who plays the 14 year old Ellis.  Aside from being in nearly every scene, he is believable on every level.  The problem is that the title character doesn't truly fit the role.  McConaughey is a very good actor, but h…

Quickie Review - Dead Snow

I've now seen Dead Snow three times. It's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it is arguably one the most fun rides you'll ever take in the zombie genre. It is in many ways a comedy, in that nobody really seems to be that upset by what is going on and the sarcasm is thick within the script.  That being said, it excels in areas most zombie films fail. 

I won't get into plot holes or any of the reasons why the film fails, but I will tell you why it's worth seeing.  The main reason is the zombies.  They aren't your typical George Romero zombies. They don't walk so slowly a tortoise could escape, don't scream brains and don't wander in all direction.  The are motherfucking Nazi zombies.  They aren't only Nazis, but they are smart, organized and here's the kicker.  They are faster than the people they are chasing.  Wanna know another reason why this movie is great?  Because once they dispose of the first two people (they have…

Free Writing - Take 27

Odd allergic reactions. Acne so bad, I refuse to go out in public. A hip so painful that I have trouble getting out of bed or off a chair.  This isn't how life is supposed to be at forty-three.  Looking for jobs to accommodate my "disabilities" and all I find is listing requiring long periods of standing for pennies per minute.  I'm not looking for a million, but maybe a handful of change.  Pain has been part of my life since 1997, but this isn't what I'm used to.  Headaches, acne, limping, wince inducing pain caused by daily chores.  Taking my right sneaker off to tie it, because I can't bear the agony from reaching for it.  All that I envisioned is gone, not lost, but gone.  Yesterday I watched little league on TV, remembering a time when I coached, when I was looked up to.  Remembering when there was a skill level that was more than the others. I miss those days, diving for balls, laughter from kids, drinks after they went home. Rinse and repeat.  I us…

Martyrs Review - Part 2 (As a metaphor for today's society)

Last night, I discussed the terribly disturbing movie Martyrs and gave my impressions and differing opinion on Martyrs in terms of what happened and how we were to perceive it.  I did so, strictly from an aesthetic point of view.  Looking directly at what we viewed and how we it could be interpreted. I still feel strongly that in the end, the role of martyr was switched from the tortured body of Ana to the unflinching beliefs of Mademoiselle, but I think the movie was heavily laden with metaphors towards our current world.

The first movie that came to mind while viewing Martyrs, was Michael Haneke's Funny Games. Funny Games is nothing more than a home invasion turned into an ugly game with no happy ending and not so ironically, nothing funny about it.  You realize early on, this is not a Hollywood film and the ending will not resemble what you are used to.  What Haneke was put the viewer in control, in a sense.  He later stated that the entire movie was a metaphor for our desensit…

Things Truly Annoying Me About Facebook

Yes, I know, the Facebook whore is complaining about Facebook.  Remember, half my posts are forwarded from Twitter, which I adore for it's craziness, informative qualities and different personalities. Not like Facebook, which has become as routine as my morning piss.  There is a reason why kids are fleeing the site like cockroaches when the light comes on....it sucks.  So here are the things that are driving my fucking crazy.

Stay at home moms.  If you post an inspirational meme at 6:10am and then again at 6:25am and then again at 6:45am, don't complain at 7:10am you were rushing like a madwoman to get the kids ready to catch the bus.  You have all fucking day, don't start your google search for inspirational bullshit before you feed your youngins.

Guys who obviously don't do a lot of the child care.  We don't need to see a picture of all ten minutes you held your child that day.  Do that shit all day long like you're supposed to.  I especially love it when you…

Review and More - Martyrs

In all my years of being a self-professed movie geek, I have come across very few movies that have shook me to my core.  There have been documentaries that have saddened me to no end, but very rarely did a movie, based on fiction, truly change me.  That was, until I viewed Martyrs. I resisted writing a review, because to not include spoilers, would insinuate that I feel this is a great movie and everyone should see it, which is not the case. This blog, which unlike my other movie blogs, will include a partial synopsis and spoilers.  It is intended to add a layer to two reviews written by some Twitter friends, that while I appreciated greatly, I felt left out one huge item.  Here are their reviews and please check out their website.  It is amazing.

http://www.thehorrorhoneys.com/2013/08/martyrs-keep-doubting.html

Let me preface this commentary with the fact that I watched Martyrs a little less than two years ago and before "meeting" the Horror Honeys, I haven't had a desi…

Question For Those Who Don't Cook

Why?

I am by no means a great cook, but making something myself, for a quarter of the price that tastes four times better is one of the most rewarding things imaginable.  I started very simple. Making myself breakfast.  I would make simple cheese omelets or something similar and then tried to perfect them.  I won't lie, I watched youtube videos of greats like Jacques Pepin make them and then I tried to do the same.  Now, if comfortable with the heat, I can make the fluffiest omelets, without a hint of brown, that just melt in your mouth.

As time went on, I started to realize what flavors went well and sometimes, even now, I strike out terribly.  That's when you grab your favorite condiments and go to town.  What it also does, is make you appreciate good food, even that which you have relatively often.  Now when I have a burger, I don't drown it in ketchup, because I want to experience the melding of the perfectly seared beef and the melted cheese (bleu almost always).  It …

Quarterback Rating - The Dumbest Stat Ever Created

I have a friend who claims to know sports.  He's a Cowboys fan and a big Tony Romo fan, so I could stop right here and you'd know where this is going, but I'll proceed.  His argument for Romo being classified a great quarterback is his regular season winning percentage and his QBR.

Here's why the stat is ridiculous.  For one, it doesn't stand up to comparing different eras. It doesn't really stand up to different seasons, because in one of his best QBR season, the team was 8-8 and was 6-4 when he was above his career average of 95.6, but one of his best games, was one in which he threw an interception, allowing for a last second field goal, when all he had to do was run out the clock.  He's barely penalized for this, because of his stats earlier.  I don't want to make this about Romo, so I'm going to look at one random game from last night's preseason game, which proves, the stat is ridiculous.

In the Ravens/Falcons game there were multiple quar…

Free Writing - Take 26

I haven't done this in a while, so I'm gonna let myself go for a full 15 minutes.  Sorry in advance to anyone who reads.

In Ithaca again, allergies, good, sorry, great food, better company and relaxation.  Not like at home, stepping over a bicycle, dirty clothes, wires and whatever I have crammed into my tiny apartment. Birds chirping, but now dogs barking incessantly all day long. Peaceful, serene, an escape from the nasty reality that has become my life.  Pain, sorrow, follows me everywhere, yet I hold my head high. Money is squandered on things like socializing, when it could be put towards things such as a doctor's visit.  Imagine, saving for a month to see a orthopedist?  I can not, I imagine the kind of doctor I'd need then, would examine my head, while laying on a couch, scribbling on a pad, I assume adding his $150 an hour charges together.  I've been there, done that.  I know more about the human mind than most, even my own. The one I hide with smiles from…

Nine Quickie Movie Reviews In One Post: Fish Tank, Beginners, We Need To Talk About Kevin, {REC} 2, Starbuck, Wendy & Lucy, Mama, Big Fan, Gunnin' For That #1 Spot

I've been computer-less for about a month now and it's driving me insane. Due to this unfortunate turn of events, which seems like it might be somewhat permanent for the immediate future, I'm lumping together my nightly reviews into one long blog. Feel free to take your time.  I'll be brief and as usual, no spoilers. 

Fish Tank is a coming of age story about a young British girl with hopes of using hip-hop dance as her way out of a dead end life.  It stars newcomer Katie Travis, who for lack of a better word, is perfect.  She displays strength and vulnerability, sometimes in the same scenes.  Her relationship with her mother and sister are strained and the addition of a man, Michael Fassbender, changes everything.  It's painful at times, but it's real. The soundtrack is amazing and the story transcends time periods.  A must for females.  I could write twenty pages on the complexity of this movie, but I'll let others see for themselves. ****1/2.

Beginners t…