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Showing posts from December, 2017

Someone Get The Lights

I've said goodbye to 2017 already. I did so last Friday, when I said goodbye to my beautiful niece, my brother and my sister-in-law. I later said goodbye to my kids and my new co-workers, leaving last, grasping on to it, as I did my niece earlier in the afternoon.

I promised her it would not be another 365 days before our next encounter. A promise I do not know if I'll keep, but it's something to strive for. She brings out a happiness in me. One that has been trapped. Her childish indifference towards me, often ignoring my silly face, to study the paper on which she draws, is refreshing. I do not control that situation, but should I look away, her calls; my name, bring a warmth that I can not describe. Her goodbye touched me, but it wasn't sadness, but an immediate feeling of excited anticipation. I didn't feel that last time, because I couldn't.

Last year, New Year's Eve, I was living, not staying, but living in a motel room. Daily sexual encounters to the…

First Time Sick In Five Years

Doubt. Skepticism. Disbelief.
I realize for many, the title sparks the above words feelings, but it's true. Aside from some sneezing due to pollen, mold or dust, it's been over five years since I've had an actual cold. Whether it's due to being back around children, chronically sick housemates or under-the-weather family visitors, I do not know, but I am definitely ill. A slight cough, that I managed to fend off, has returned and become harsh. The congestion was not present early on, but now it is here. I have so far avoided any fever, but I sense, as my body amps up the fight, it will be here soon. Sickness during a break from work. It seems like a visit from an old friend. 
When I first started working with children, my immune system would fight and kept me healthy, right up until the holidays and then, the simple act of relaxing, would bring on colds like I never knew. I'd usually be in bed for three, maybe four days, and then it was gone. Gone again until the n…

For Those Who Celebrate

"Happy......., For those who celebrate"

One of the most sincere and unintentionally cringe-worthy phrases in the English language. Yes, even more so than the embraced War on Christmas's Happy Holidays. It is never said with any malcontent, but it immediately divides us. Why, if we celebrate, wouldn't we want others to share in our happiness? Why, if we don't, wouldn't we desire to share in the happiness of others?

Forget the religious aspect of Christmas and think about this time next week. Children, awaken to the dark sky. Lingering in bed for an appropriate amount of time, until they can wake their parents or expect festivities. The coffee pot or the aroma of its contents is a good sign. The pitter-patter of tiny feet, scurry across the floor. Still in pajama, they embrace their parent(s) and any other loved ones present. Their widen eyes, fluttering heartbeats and excited minds, racing. They wait for the first gift, then another, and another. They receive …

October & November Movies

As the year speeds to an end, it has become abundantly clear that this year, in terms of volume, will be a failure in terms of movies. I'm currently at under sixty percent of my normal 300-325 movies per year. That being said, I've seen some great ones this year. Here's the last two months. October's list is embarrassingly small.

Top Of The Lake: China Girl - Impossible to top the original series and doesn't come close.Split - Shymalan's vision comes to life thanks to McAvoy, Buckley and Taylor-Joy!Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - More of the same starts to fade, but loved the conclusion.Woman In The Dunes - Beautiful, haunting and erotic. A film that lingers inside you. Peur(s) Du Noir - B&W Animated vignette. Stories are good, but animation is the draw.Rififi - Sadly, the DVD wouldn't let me finish the movie, but at that point, I stopped caring.Cria Cuervos - Wonderful acting, but this anti-Franco allegory didn't work for me.It Comes At Night - H…

The Final Month

Rabbit, Rabbit

Needed good luck and good cheer. Silly childhood sayings, myths and fables. This year winds down, and like all, since turning 40 (or was it 30), the years seem to flash by. Days drag, at times, even weeks, but the years are a blur.

As kids we measure time by holidays. In school or out. Our Sunday Best, fireworks, costumes and presents. As young adults, we waited for our weekends away with friends, maybe even spring break for the post-college crowd. In my 30's, it was watching other's kids grow and it was pleasant, but age creeps up and in our 40's, time and years are marked by those we've lost.

December. another Christmas and Hanukkah without my mother. Next yea will be my 15th holiday season without her. It shows. It's been years since I gave or received a gift. I don't want for anything, so I often think others need to feel as I. Selfish, I know, but I look back on the massive amounts of time and money I've spent, searching the aisles or si…