I was reading some of my older blogs and I've realized that I have become soft. I have gotten downright silly at times. I need to get back to my roots. I need to start using this blog for what it was intended. Free Fucking Therapy. I think recently I've tried to get a laugh from one or two people, but lost sight of the fact that this used to really help me. So here it goes,
Recently I've had some online debates with people over politics. As everyone knows, I live in the heart of conservative Eastchester and my opinions stand out more than Chris Christie at a salad bar. This debate started with me making a comment on a friend's page and snowballed into a few people attacking me, some personally. Now, I'm always up for a debate as long as the playing field is even. Sadly, the most vocal opponent is to intelligence what Courtney Love is to class. The arguments are so painfully stupid, that at one point a friend messaged me and said "how can you take this...he's so fucking dumb." The fact was, it took everything not to call him a fucking asshole. Then some others chimed in and one person tried to keep the peace. One person I respect, but honestly, would love to know the websites he finds his information. I think it comes from Bill O'Reilly's toilet paper roll. The thing that got me incensed was being called a deadbeat who mooches off the system by a fucking coke head. Every time I see this guy he grinds his teeth so hard you can hear it. Sure he's successful financially, because they just came out with a report that assholes succeed in business over good guys. Congrats to you and your binge. I respect people's families too much to bash them openly on Facebook, but make sure the person you're bashing doesn't know a few of your dirty little secrets, before attacking you.
That being said, I'll probably take a break from arguing with, as I like to call them "room temperature IQ's, and I'll stick to discussing it with people who have some grey matter between their ears. Why is it, when I look on FB, all my republican friends post about Casey Anthony, they oppose gay marriage and they are big fans of Jersey Shore. Yeah, these are the people I want voting in our next election. What kills me, is their version of being aware is 30 minutes of Glenn Beck crying. Seriously, on average, and I'm not even kidding, I'd be surprised if the average republican I know has an IQ over 100. All the ultra-intelligent people I know are democrats, with very few exceptions. Listen, I am not saying you're always wrong, I can be too, but prove it with facts, not opinions. People would be very surprised to know that my opinion of Obama is that he sucks, but he sucks a hell of a lot less than what we could have had. I like John McCain, but he was going to continue Bush's antics and we'd be fucked. Enough on that topic, on to the next.
I thankfully have a ton of friends who are supportive of the gay marriage legislation that has passed. Sadly, I have some friends who think it's terrible. They scream about the fact that it's not a healthy place for a child to grow up in. First, they are only getting married right now. So the kid argument is moot. As for the child rearing conundrum, I'm going to give you three scenarios and you tell me which sounds worse. 1. A man and a woman who fight and end up in divorce using the kid as a pawn. 2. Two loving men or two loving women who raise their kid to be understanding of everyone and to accept people for who they are. 3. A woman who has a baby, but didn't have sex with her husband and the baby walks around telling everyone he's the son of God. Now which one sounds the most stable?
We all have our guilty pleasures in life and mindless TV has always been one, but the de-evolution of the human mind seems to be in overdrive. You revolve your schedules and your DVR around the most mindless shows. How the hell do you do it? I just can't handle the mentality of people who wake up on Thursday morning and go on facebook and write Jerzey Thursday. It's fucking sad. Remember when people used to watch Dallas and Dynasty? It was a fantasy. Rich, good looking people who epitomized the American dream.....plus some hanky-panky on the side. But Jersey Shore? This is everything we strive in life not to be and all you morons have made these ignorant fucks millionaires. These same people have made a celebrity out of Casey Anthony. I find it funny, that nobody knows who the West Memphis Three are, but everyone knows who Pauly D is. When Abercrombie and Fitch offered that guy money not to wear their clothing, I saw at least twenty posts of the news article. Who the fuck cares? Does anyone buy clothing based on what they see a moron in a wife beater wearing? Doesn't anyone feel a little silly watching people that are arguably dumber than them, trying to be even dumber? Guess not. We all have our guilty pleasures, but stupidity shouldn't be one.
You know what I haven't heard anyone mention recently, but heard about it constantly from 2001-2008? The fucking war! Unless someone posts something on Facebook asking everyone to repost in honor of someone has died, it goes unnoticed. I find it funny that I mention the hypicrosy of my so-called "concerned with the political landscape" constantly talking about Casey Anthony while soldiers are still dying and within a week, 14, yes 14 of my flag waving Republican friends posted different posts about soldiers dying. Glad to see I could be of assistance. Listen, I hate flag waving, because it's so phony. I don't love my country unconditionally, because unless you're one years old and need a tit to suck on to live, it's not a natural response to anything. Loving unconditionally is a biproduct of lacking knowledge (see religion or that annoying uncle at family barbecues). I just think that if you wanna be a flag waving American than admit when people you support fuck it up for everyone else. Admit that it's impossible to care about every soldier who dies in the line of duty. Don't pick and choose who is important and who isn't. Stop babbling about our judicial system, when someone nobody but Nancy Grace cares about gets off and you are appalled. Chances are the system has benefited you at some point also. I'm not saying you shouldn't care, but let's stop with the "please re-post" shit on Facebook. If I don't re-post it doesn't mean I'm a communist, that I don't love my mother or that I hope everyone with cancer dies. So seriously, shut the fuck up.
Another thing that is starting to get to me is people telling me what is healthy and what isn't. Listen, if I wanna drink a few beers and eat nothing but tomato and avocados, please don't tell me how I'm killing myself as you drive by with your Mocha Coolata. I don't want to hear how read meat will kill me when you have high blood pressure and you supposedly only eat cottage cheese and alfalfa sprouts. I understand what is healthy and what is not. I usually eat fairly healthy, but I have two vices; I like to eat and I like to drink. I've lost more than 50 lbs three times, so I obviously know what I'm talking about. Do I excel at staying in shape? No, but I also don't look like an Ethiopian with an orange spray tan.
I wish I could document the number of people who complained in the winter about the cold and the snow and then followed it up with complaints about the heat. It's called weather. Now I hate the heat and I do complain about it, but you don't hear me complaining about the cold. I love the cold. It warms me. If you're a normal human being and you sweat when it's 80 degrees, the heat sucks. If you are said normal person and you get cold when it's 40 degrees, put on a sweater or sweatshirt. It's that simple. How can you complain about something that is so simple to remedy?
Every once in a while I awaken in some serious pain. I have some serious ailments, which unfortunately due to this country's shit health care plans and some serious fucking over by Manhattan College, couldn't be fixed. A lot of people make comments about me bitching and moaning. To those people I say a grandiose "FUCK YOU." Ever hear the cliche "walk a mile in one's shoes?" Well imagine you couldn't bend your knee to tie those shoes without being in pain. Imagine sitting in a chair for a mere twenty minutes and not being able to straighten out your legs? Well if you can't imagine that, then please keep your comments to yourself.
Recently I've had some online debates with people over politics. As everyone knows, I live in the heart of conservative Eastchester and my opinions stand out more than Chris Christie at a salad bar. This debate started with me making a comment on a friend's page and snowballed into a few people attacking me, some personally. Now, I'm always up for a debate as long as the playing field is even. Sadly, the most vocal opponent is to intelligence what Courtney Love is to class. The arguments are so painfully stupid, that at one point a friend messaged me and said "how can you take this...he's so fucking dumb." The fact was, it took everything not to call him a fucking asshole. Then some others chimed in and one person tried to keep the peace. One person I respect, but honestly, would love to know the websites he finds his information. I think it comes from Bill O'Reilly's toilet paper roll. The thing that got me incensed was being called a deadbeat who mooches off the system by a fucking coke head. Every time I see this guy he grinds his teeth so hard you can hear it. Sure he's successful financially, because they just came out with a report that assholes succeed in business over good guys. Congrats to you and your binge. I respect people's families too much to bash them openly on Facebook, but make sure the person you're bashing doesn't know a few of your dirty little secrets, before attacking you.
That being said, I'll probably take a break from arguing with, as I like to call them "room temperature IQ's, and I'll stick to discussing it with people who have some grey matter between their ears. Why is it, when I look on FB, all my republican friends post about Casey Anthony, they oppose gay marriage and they are big fans of Jersey Shore. Yeah, these are the people I want voting in our next election. What kills me, is their version of being aware is 30 minutes of Glenn Beck crying. Seriously, on average, and I'm not even kidding, I'd be surprised if the average republican I know has an IQ over 100. All the ultra-intelligent people I know are democrats, with very few exceptions. Listen, I am not saying you're always wrong, I can be too, but prove it with facts, not opinions. People would be very surprised to know that my opinion of Obama is that he sucks, but he sucks a hell of a lot less than what we could have had. I like John McCain, but he was going to continue Bush's antics and we'd be fucked. Enough on that topic, on to the next.
I thankfully have a ton of friends who are supportive of the gay marriage legislation that has passed. Sadly, I have some friends who think it's terrible. They scream about the fact that it's not a healthy place for a child to grow up in. First, they are only getting married right now. So the kid argument is moot. As for the child rearing conundrum, I'm going to give you three scenarios and you tell me which sounds worse. 1. A man and a woman who fight and end up in divorce using the kid as a pawn. 2. Two loving men or two loving women who raise their kid to be understanding of everyone and to accept people for who they are. 3. A woman who has a baby, but didn't have sex with her husband and the baby walks around telling everyone he's the son of God. Now which one sounds the most stable?
We all have our guilty pleasures in life and mindless TV has always been one, but the de-evolution of the human mind seems to be in overdrive. You revolve your schedules and your DVR around the most mindless shows. How the hell do you do it? I just can't handle the mentality of people who wake up on Thursday morning and go on facebook and write Jerzey Thursday. It's fucking sad. Remember when people used to watch Dallas and Dynasty? It was a fantasy. Rich, good looking people who epitomized the American dream.....plus some hanky-panky on the side. But Jersey Shore? This is everything we strive in life not to be and all you morons have made these ignorant fucks millionaires. These same people have made a celebrity out of Casey Anthony. I find it funny, that nobody knows who the West Memphis Three are, but everyone knows who Pauly D is. When Abercrombie and Fitch offered that guy money not to wear their clothing, I saw at least twenty posts of the news article. Who the fuck cares? Does anyone buy clothing based on what they see a moron in a wife beater wearing? Doesn't anyone feel a little silly watching people that are arguably dumber than them, trying to be even dumber? Guess not. We all have our guilty pleasures, but stupidity shouldn't be one.
You know what I haven't heard anyone mention recently, but heard about it constantly from 2001-2008? The fucking war! Unless someone posts something on Facebook asking everyone to repost in honor of someone has died, it goes unnoticed. I find it funny that I mention the hypicrosy of my so-called "concerned with the political landscape" constantly talking about Casey Anthony while soldiers are still dying and within a week, 14, yes 14 of my flag waving Republican friends posted different posts about soldiers dying. Glad to see I could be of assistance. Listen, I hate flag waving, because it's so phony. I don't love my country unconditionally, because unless you're one years old and need a tit to suck on to live, it's not a natural response to anything. Loving unconditionally is a biproduct of lacking knowledge (see religion or that annoying uncle at family barbecues). I just think that if you wanna be a flag waving American than admit when people you support fuck it up for everyone else. Admit that it's impossible to care about every soldier who dies in the line of duty. Don't pick and choose who is important and who isn't. Stop babbling about our judicial system, when someone nobody but Nancy Grace cares about gets off and you are appalled. Chances are the system has benefited you at some point also. I'm not saying you shouldn't care, but let's stop with the "please re-post" shit on Facebook. If I don't re-post it doesn't mean I'm a communist, that I don't love my mother or that I hope everyone with cancer dies. So seriously, shut the fuck up.
Another thing that is starting to get to me is people telling me what is healthy and what isn't. Listen, if I wanna drink a few beers and eat nothing but tomato and avocados, please don't tell me how I'm killing myself as you drive by with your Mocha Coolata. I don't want to hear how read meat will kill me when you have high blood pressure and you supposedly only eat cottage cheese and alfalfa sprouts. I understand what is healthy and what is not. I usually eat fairly healthy, but I have two vices; I like to eat and I like to drink. I've lost more than 50 lbs three times, so I obviously know what I'm talking about. Do I excel at staying in shape? No, but I also don't look like an Ethiopian with an orange spray tan.
I wish I could document the number of people who complained in the winter about the cold and the snow and then followed it up with complaints about the heat. It's called weather. Now I hate the heat and I do complain about it, but you don't hear me complaining about the cold. I love the cold. It warms me. If you're a normal human being and you sweat when it's 80 degrees, the heat sucks. If you are said normal person and you get cold when it's 40 degrees, put on a sweater or sweatshirt. It's that simple. How can you complain about something that is so simple to remedy?
Every once in a while I awaken in some serious pain. I have some serious ailments, which unfortunately due to this country's shit health care plans and some serious fucking over by Manhattan College, couldn't be fixed. A lot of people make comments about me bitching and moaning. To those people I say a grandiose "FUCK YOU." Ever hear the cliche "walk a mile in one's shoes?" Well imagine you couldn't bend your knee to tie those shoes without being in pain. Imagine sitting in a chair for a mere twenty minutes and not being able to straighten out your legs? Well if you can't imagine that, then please keep your comments to yourself.
I have a very simple, honest question for my friends who are Yankees fans. Listen, I appreciate your franchise's success. I'm in awe of it. I have said many times, they are the best franchise in professional sports. I do not deny their overall greatness, however, why is it then that in 2004 I was told "26 rings." In 2007, I was told "26 rings." In 2009, when I pointed out we'd won two of the last six and you guys had won once in the last six, the response was "What have you done for me lately?" Doesn't this seem like a little bit of a contradiction in boasting technique? I'm all for trash talk, but keep it consistent.
This is completely unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but why do people who cheat on their golf scores keep score at all? I played in a foursome three weeks ago and I had my best round ever. I hit the ball like a 12 year old girl and I'm not very good. I play about three times a year and it's impossible for me to get better. I shot a legit 89. I made some great putts, I hit every par 3 off the tee and just made good shots. Only two flubs the whole day. The guys I played with regularly shoot in the low 90's (according to them). They shot 104, 106 and 110 respectively. They all admitted they had bad rounds. Here's the thing. They really shot 112, 114, and 114 (one guy took a nine on a par four, when he hit three balls in the woods, took an illegal drop, then took five shots to reach the green and had a 30' putt. That's an illegal 12 without putting and he took a nine. So the following week when they said they shot 85, 88 and 89, I was a little skeptical. I don't care, but it makes me wonder.
Finally, and I'm going back to politics for a minute. I'm currently out of work and it's lead me to try and think of brilliant money making schemes. I keep searching for that elusive light bulb to go off and I think it has finally started to flicker. A few of my more boisterous and intellect lacking friends, who find it impossible to go a day without ripping Obama, even though their problems have been the same for about six years, have given me an idea. I'm actually going to back everything they say. Everything they complain and blame democrats and say should be done by republicans I'm going to follow to a tee. So here's my business plan:
Fight these loose immigration laws. I'm going to go to local businesses and rat them out to the government. All the local landscapers, restaurants and construction companies will be the first on my list. I will make sure they are fined and the people deported. No more immigrant workers at low pay. Now these businesses will have to pay people on the books. Republicans are correct. I'm sure nobody will mind paying $100 to have your front yard mowed or $20 for a hamburger at the local pub. The business owners are all republicans, so why would they mind? Then I'm going to take a look at their books and all the payroll taxes that have been avoided since the illegal immigrants or off the books employees have worked for them. I've gotta imagine that even a company showing a $200,000 gross would be about $20,000 in payroll taxes. Imagine how that would help the government. Then, I'd form a subdivision to make sure that these employers are offering their employees health care benefits, since a universal plan is considered socialism. I'd make sure that every expense that they use for write-offs is valid. So when Joe blow takes his kids to Disney, I'd make sure that he pays for that out of pocket and doesn't use it as a tax deduction under travel and entertainment. I'd also make sure that no overtime is given either. Instead of paying someone time and half for 6-7 hours, I'd have that business hire someone else for the part time work. If you have four employees getting eight hours of overtime, I'd make sure they hired another person for 32 hours, thus lowering unemployment, which from what I'm hearing is suddenly a concern of Republicans. Finally, I'd immediately fine every business that subs work out to foreign countries to increase their profit margin. I'd tax them 10% of the profit they made and put that towards our welfare and unemployment system. I'd also have all the owners take a piss test. They are always complaining about welfare recipients and championing the Florida law of drug testing before receiving benefits (which I actually have no problem with and support it fully), so let's test them. If they pass, no problem. If they fail, they have to sponsor one person on welfare for one year. We'll call it the Hypocrite Tax. Imagine if everyone you knew who smoked pot, did blow, or took E donated that money to a food bank or to a homeless shelter. America would be a greater place. So I'm looking for funding. It can be private. I'll be the asshole everyone hates. I'm used to it.
Finally, I'd like to add that I'm not nearly as angry as I appear. I'm actually in a pretty good place mentally. I've got a lot of stress, but a few hours a day, it's been melted away. I don't know how long this will last, I usually fuck these things up, but as of now, I feel like I can concentrate on someone else for a change. Sure it would be nice to have money to throw around, but honestly, it's nice to be liked for who I am and not what I can buy. That being said, I'd love to do something special for the one bright spot in my life. I have some thoughts, but if you've read the previous thoughts, you know I need help.
Disclaimer: I did call out one or two people. I'd be shocked if they read this, but there is nothing I haven't said anything that isn't true. If you think any statements are about you, to be honest, they probably aren't.
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