Skip to main content

Me Time During The Holidays

“Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.”
 ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I spent Thanksgiving alone again and it was fine. The two days and nights that followed were spent entirely with my landlords. Something that hasn't happened before, despite living here for nearly eleven months. I craved solitude and when I got it on Sunday, I felt the anxiety float away. They returned and I laughed, with them. 

I've often spoke of the importance of solitude to my friends who are mothers. My friends who are fathers always seem to have that male bonding time during the holidays and never appear as hampered by the responsibility of making everyone else happy, well fed and appreciated during the holidays. I realize this is a generalization, but for me, well from my perspective, it's true.

Solitude is often viewed as a negative, but in small doses, it's a vacation from the act of doing for others. Something most of us do daily, but for a few, the aforementioned mothers especially, it's a myth. A legend they've heard, or a distant memory, since bringing children into this world. We hear the stories, told as jokes, of not even being able to pee or shower, but they aren't jokes. No, they are small cries for help, they've already accepted as being unheard. Shopping, errands, cleaning and the daily commute isn't the solitude they need. A detour, a book, a walk, a glass of wine when the kids are out with their friends, father or simply somewhere where there is no need to worry; that is what I speak of.

My mother used to go for rides. I followed in her footsteps when  I was younger. Do not believe for a moment age is an issue. Young people, yes, even your children need their Me Time too, but for those who carry the burden of providing, it's imperative. It isn't so much as a cliched recharging of the batteries, but taking them out and making sure they're all there. There is no time limit or time frame, but especially during this time of year, we all need some time to reflect. We need time to be introspective, appreciative of ourselves, for us, not for what we do for others. We need time to think about the last few days, weeks or months and think past the trees, menorahs and festive foods. A glass of wine, an ice cream Sunday or driving over the speed limit, without a sound coming from those car seats. A book or movie that has been set aside, or a hiking trail. A one man or woman karaoke show while enjoying a sunset. Whatever the chosen endeavor is, do it alone and remember, at the end of the day, despite what you may tell others, or even tell yourself, you are the most important person in your life. Take some time to remind yourself of that. In a season that sees us overcome with emotions, both good and bad, we often lose our sense of self. Recapture it. Own it. Enjoy it.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

11 Rules of Life - Bill Gates?

I read this on Facebook this morning.  A friend had posted it and said that every child should have to receive this. I of course read it and started to think.  I immediately wondered who really wrote this, as I rarely see things like this attributed to the proper person.  I immediately found it was written by Conservative Charles J. Sykes when he wrote a book about how America is dumbing down our youth.  I read it twice and started to wonder how true it was.  Below is a link to the actual picture I saw.





So let's look at each of the rules and analyze them.

Rule 1: Life is not fair — get used to it! - Life is not fair in that we are not all afforded the same opportunities based on race, creed, color, socio-economic background, but in general, those who are afforded the same opportunities to succeed are very often rewarded for their individual efforts.  Sure there may be underlying circumstances, but hard work is proven to pay more often than not and those who strive for success, migh…

A Strange Night

Awake, despite complete exhaustion. Cold, despite being covered. Shaken, despite being completely safe. Scattered, despite thinking of one topic. Forgetful,. despite the familiarity of my surroundings. Alone, despite being surrounded by others. Lethargic, despite the ease of the tasks. Giving, despite needing desperately to receive. Selling to buy, when I feel as if I should be buying to sell. Compassionate, when I need to be steadfast.
Faithful, when I need to be selfish. Awake, when sleep is needed more than anything in this world.
Handling stress now is not like it used to be. The stress is different and the ramifications are magnified. I used to covet stress and feed off of it. Now it feeds on me. Even the kids could not distract my thoughts. Today I must breathe and placate my mind. I feel as if I have no options, but I have two,  And neither is as serious as fight or flight. I always used to fight, except when it was warranted to fly. Have I learned or am I mixing the two up?
I …

Movies From The First Quarter Of 2019

I've promised myself I'd laugh more in 2019, so I've been watching a lot more stand-up and I've also made decided to venture into some British (and soon American) TV series'. My film list might look a little slower, but nothing can be worse than the last two years. I am committed to getting back to exercising my mind and watching classics. Just not every night. I have Oscar winners to catch up on; some new, some very old.
The Top Three: Winter, Sleep, First Man, The Age of Shadows The Bottom Three: Mandy, Neruda, The Innkeepers The Biggest Surprise: Eighth Grade The Biggest Disappointment: The Avengers Trilogy as a whole Best Series: River 
Bird Box - Tense, amazing acting, social commentary, homages. It lived up to the hype!Marvel: The Avengers - Fun, tons of action, corny humor. Comic book comes to lifeAvengers: Age of Ultron - nowhere near as much fun as The Avengers.Spider-Man: Homecoming - Great fun despite the lack of a bigtime villain.Avengers: Infinity Wars…