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Autumn Morning: A Metaphor

Saturday morning I awoke with a refreshed feeling. I decided on an early departure from my favorite watering hole and in return I received a decent night's sleep. Seven hours to me is the equivalent of a mini coma, minus any brain deficiency (although some would say it's already too late to save me). I lounged in bed briefly, got up and checked my e-mail, had some coffee and headed out for some breakfast.

I stopped at a neighborhood deli and ordered my bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. I couldn't help but notice the woman standing next to her very muscular boyfriend. She was wearing black leggings and a heavy sweatshirt. A very attractive face and a very toned physique. She paced up and down the deli and I was admittedly too distracted by her appearance to pay any attention to the conversation she, her boyfriend and the man behind the counter were having. A few seconds later, a boy walked in with a high school football jersey on. The boyfriend wished him good luck and told him how much he wished he could play. There is always that awkward moment, that thankfully goes unnoticed when a man my age realizes that the young woman he is appreciating is, not a woman at all, but a girl. I grabbed my sandwich, left the store and proceeded to my next stop. Slightly laughing at myself for not realizing in the first place that the girl had been wearing a sweatshirt with her school's name on it.

I enjoyed my sandwich as I drove down to my old stomping grounds of Garth Road for some great bagels. I had visions and thoughts of the wonderful cider barn that used to be in Armonk. Those delicious warm sugary donuts. A cold glass of cider. Reminded me of younger days where maybe the young girl I had previously seen, might have shown an interest. The cider mill is long gone, as is my youth. I drive down the road, turned past my workplace, noticed some leaves that had started to change. I parked my car and entered the bagel shop. I love the smell in that place. It takes me back to a much easier time. A time when my mother cooked my meals, did my laundry, and my father taught me lessons without letting me know. I thought of the years, and the hundreds, if not thousands of bagels I've consumed from this place. Good times, happier times, healthier times.

As I left the store and walked down to my car. I couldn't help but notice the car parked behind me. A bright yellow Porsche. Out stepped a very nice looking woman, late 40's-early 50's. Dressed in black sweatpants and a black shirt. She smiled as she passed me and walked into the bagel store. There was no love at first sight, there was no emotion attached, it was just a simple gesture. A simple gesture from a woman, definitely out of my league, that made my morning. I drove off and she quickly caught up. We shared a red light and then her car took off into the distance. I turned and headed for home. Through the tunnel, up the hill, and parked.

As I sat in my car, collecting my belongings and purchases it had dawned on me that we only appreciate the seasons we've experienced. We never seem to embrace what lies ahead. In the spring, we appreciate the warming temperatures, but are hesitant about embracing the glaring heat of summer. Then summer comes and we run into air conditioning and talk about how the spring was so wonderful, but already start to talk about school starting and vacations ending by autumn. Autumn approaches and the cooler temperatures begin, holidays are abound and we speak of the lazy days of summer and their wonders and fear a harsh winter. When winter does arrive we enjoy the family fun together during the holidays, we embrace the new year, but complain about the cold and speak of how nice the Indian Summer was in October. Spring arrives and the warming air makes us forget about the winter cold, all the time we complain incessantly about the rain and mention how even the snow is better, never taking time to appreciate that vacations and barbecues are just around the corner.

It made me realize that our lives are like the seasons. In our younger years, we are so much like spring. We live in the moment, no memories matter, we're building them as we go. As we age slightly and get into our 20's and early 30's. We reminisce about our younger days and most enjoy meeting that person they want to spend the rest of their life with, or at least that is the plan in our summer years. Many of us try and hold onto those younger years. Dating younger men and women, trying so hard to hold onto the past. As we enter our late 30's to even our early 50's. We look back at those trying times. The awkward teen years, the loves we've had and lost. We look at those who surround us with great warmth and affection. We think nothing of giving those younger than us a wink or smile. We have become like autumn. Our hair changes like the leaves of a tree. Our faces age and our bodies become rounder like the ripening pumpkins of the new harvest. Many of us lose ourselves in our children's activities, those of us who aren't attached or don't have kids seem to gravitate towards each other, in some sort of land-based life raft. Grandparents have entered the cold days of winter. Their heat is the love of their children and grandchildren. Birthdays and holidays consume their thoughts. They go about their daily chores smiling at whoever will accept their warmth. It so often goes unnoticed by those moving faster, who have busier schedules and only take time to notice the younger girl in the deli.

On Saturday morning, the air was crisp, leaves had started to change and fall. As I drove home that day, I realized that spring was far behind, barely visible in the rear view mirror. Autumn was upon us; upon me. Summer is a recent memory, like the smoke coming from a dampened barbecue fire. The seasons change, as do we and try as hard as I do to ignore, I have but two seasons left. It's my turn to smile at spring and summer. I can only hope they appreciate it as I do. I will try and appreciate winter and what lies ahead. I know I have a while before it comes, so I will enjoy Autumn and whatever it brings. I hope that I can have someone to share it with. Someone to enjoy the colors, the cool, and the brisk walks on the leaf covered path to winter. Regardless, I'll take it in and embrace it. The same way I did the newness and innocence of spring and the passion and heat of summer. The seasons have changed and I welcome this new beginning.

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