I had been contemplating doing this as a facebook note, but decided it might be a little personal and I'm just to shy to have my life displayed on facebook....OK I'm just fucking with you. Here it goes, the famous questionnaire that tells you everything you wanna know about someone, but really didn't care to ask.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? Mine is nothing symbolic or some cliche like to die alone. We all die alone in some way or another. Unless of course, we die in a car crash with others, but metaphorically, we all die our own deaths. My true fear is very strong winds. I shit you not. I'm probably less likely to be blown away than 95% of the world, but strong wind scares me. I've seen hurricane winds, but the thought of a tornado absolutely paralyzes me. There was a street sign on my corner that would flap in the breeze every time a bad storm came through and I swore that one day the sign would dislodge and kill me, Final Destination style. Serious, wind. Scares the shit out of me.
WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND? I've been sick for a week, so it's one of aggravation. Aside from the sickness, I feel somewhat worn down from the routine of life. I need a new challenge, maybe even a new locale, definitely some kind of stimulation. I'm also very distracted lately. My attention span is that of a gnat. This must change. I need to get back the ability to relax, watch a movie, not worrying about this and that. I'm also looking forward to a family Thanksgiving.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?(WAY OF SPENDING TIME) I would have to say curled up on a rainy afternoon or evening watching a great movie with a hot cup of coffee. Alone is wonderful. With someone special is perfect.
WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH? Richard Nixon - yes he had his faults, but he was borderline genius and did many good things while he was in office. All is overshadowed by the one bad thing he did, which in retrospect isn't half as bad as some of the stuff that has been done by president before and after Nixon's tenure. That being said, I think when all was said and done, he was more a misunderstood individual than a villain.
WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE? I am not one who admires people for the most part. We're all human. Some invent things, some make money, some have talent, but is another human really worth admiring? I guess if a gun was put to my head, I admire truly good parents. Parents, who despite their fatigue or personal problems, cook their children dinner and sit and talk with them about their days. I admire the kindergartner's parents whose child said please and thank you to me the other day without being told. I admire the first grader's parents, whose daughter stopped me from doing my class because she wanted to tie the 2nd and 3rd graders shoes so they wouldn't trip and get hurt. I admire the parents of the child who during a snack break had four mini muffins and gave three of them away to kids whose parents forgot to pack a snack, leaving him with one. Then when he saw that another kid didn't have snack, he broke his remaining muffin in half and shared it. I admire those parents. They are few and far between.
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL HERO? Max, from Where The Wild Things Are, because despite the power he found, he never forgot where he came from or where he belongs.
WHO ARE YOUR REAL-LIFE HEROES? My parents and grandparents. Six people who showed me more in my life than hundreds of teachers could ever do. They also showed me that you don't always have to say what people want to hear. I learned this by saying those things to them first.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION? Obviously family, but I don't think this is what the question is meant to mean. I believe this is a materialistic question so I will answer it as such. I do not own one thing in this world, I would not give up, in a second, for anyone I care abouts health and happiness.
WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST? There have been so many places I've been with friends and family and shared momentous occasions and feelings of happiness, but if I had to be selfish and only think about me, the choice is easy. The four summers I spent at Birchmont. Each one was special in a different way, but all were as close to perfect as I can imagine.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTERISTIC? I'm a big boy. I like to eat and drink and my body shows this. I wasn't always like that, it used to be my legs...or so I was told. Old age and bad habits will do that to you. Oh yeah and two torn ACL's.
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE (HATE) IN YOURSELF? My inability to clean my apartment to the point I can't have company. My apartment is smaller than most walk-in closets. My apartment might be a walk-in closet. Yet, there is a stack of paper on the desk and on the floor that rivals Vesuvius. I've got dust with born on dating since before some of my friends had their children. Oddly enough, dirty dishes is my pet peeve and I almost never have dirty dishes in the sink. Don't ask.
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS? Ignorance, being proud of your ignorance, and not willing to admit ignorance. If I don't know I say I don't know. I feel ashamed. I then go home and spend long sessions looking up info on said topic on the Internet. I will spend hours sometimes, so the next time, if it occurs, I am more prepared than anyone in the room. If only I had done this in school. I just don't understand how people can be proud of not knowing common knowledge things. I don't understand how "devout" Catholics, Jews, Muslims, etc don't know their own religion. I don't know why people don't understand things that are important to societies well being, and brag about it. For every intelligent conversation I have had in the past year, I have had this response given to me ten times "Don't bother me with that shit, I don't read or listen to the news...why should I care what goes on in Iran or Iraq or wherever were fighting." Seriously, this is almost a verbatim response to any debate. Scares me.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE? Sadly, socializing at the bar. I probably spend twice as much a month on going out eating and drinking as I do on rent. This is not something I'm proud of, necessarily, but I find the people that stay home all the time when they do come out, they all talk about the same things, and honestly I don't really care about your kids first shit or the excitement that this years Real World is giving you. Tila Tequila is a drink right?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JOURNEY? My next one. I'm not a traveler, per se, but I do like to go away. I don't need a plane, or a bus, or a train. My next journey was planned last weekend, but rainy weather changed my mind. I was going to go solo to my old stomping grounds in Brooklyn. Hit up Grimaldi's or Difara's for some pizza. Then over to Atlantic Ave to Sahadi for some of the world's best hummus and coffee. Then over to the Promenade and just stare at the Brooklyn Bridge. That was it. Maybe next week or the week after.
WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE? I've gained so much weight I don't think I look anything like I used to. I don't know if that's good or bad, but while I was never thin, I did have a pretty good physique back in my 17-19 years. I was strong, a good athlete, and could actually walk without limping or being out of breath.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVER-RATED VIRTUE? Purity. You can slice this one any way you like. This is not a good virtue. What's good for the Virgin Mary and Jesus, ain't good for people here on Earth. Seriously, some sick bastards love having sex with virgins. Makes them feel good about themselves. Really, for how long? Six minutes? Seriously, find me an impure girl and now we're talking. OK, so it's not about sex, it's a spiritual thing. OK, if I'm with someone who is living for the after world, I'm fucked. First off, we're not on the same mental plain and probably won't be honeymooning on the same plane, so why bother. I don't need pure thoughts, pure anything really. Unless I'm going to eat snow. Then purity is fine and dandy.
ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE? If I lie it is only not to hurt others. That being said, my lies are few and far between. You wanna know how you spot the liar. He's the one who never hurts any one's feelings. Lying is for cowards. Lying is for those who don't have enough value in their own lives so they make things up to give the impression of greatness when in reality, once their lies have been uncovered, they become smaller than they once were.
WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVER-USE? I refer to things as the best a lot, when they are in fact not even close to being the best. They are just above average for that time frame. I also say "I heard," when a lot of times, I read, or I was witness to, but I tend to say I heard, which is weird. I don't now why I do this. I am sure to be called out on this by anyone who reads this.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE? It's silly, but I wish I played sports in high school. I wish I did something at that time in my life that was more about a group than about me. I was a good athlete, and all due respect to people I went to high school with, a hell of a lot better than most of the better players in every sport. Obviously, I didn't have any thoughts of making it past high school, because at 5'9" 194lbs with speed like a baby cow, there wasn't much to dream about. I do wish I played for teams though. The camaraderie, the leadership, the coaching. I ended up coaching after high school and I realize how important it is to have someone show you how to do things better than you knew how. I always knew I could hit a baseball, but if I had played under our teams coach, I'm sure I would have hit it that much harder, that much further, and definitely that much more often. Big mistake, but I was young and dumb. It's silly now, but I think it would have made a big difference. I try in my own little way to make that difference in kids lives now.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT? Maybe saving someones life (a memory I'm sure she's long forgotten). I'll never know. I was leaving school in second grade and a friend of mine had walked ahead. We lived a few doors down from each other and always walked home from school together, rain or shine. I was talking to some of my friends when I noticed she was talking to someone in a car. I saw her open the back door and start to get in. I dropped my book bag and ran towards the car and grabbed her jacket and yanked it. She and I both went tumbling out onto the street and the car sped off, back door slamming shut as he drove away. We got up, I grabbed my books and we ran home as fast as we could. The man had told her that her mom had asked him to pick her up and take her home and she believed him. Maybe the story wasn't as dramatic as I remembered, but my mother told me that I came in the house crying my eyes out that someone tried to steal my friend. I'd say that's about as good as I'm capable.
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? I love Boston, but it's basically a quieter New York with a baseball team I adore. I don't think I'd wanna live there though. Nope, for me it would be in a little house with a screened in porch looking over Lake Wentworth in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire. I wouldn't need a big house. Just big enough that friends could visit, a fire could be set, and in the spring and summer we could hang our feet off the dock and feed the ducks or gaze at the eagles as they soared amongst the clouds during some of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever witnessed.
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A MAN? Honesty. There is no quality, virtue, whatever you want to call it that matters most to me than someone being honest with me. Male or female, honesty is what matters most.
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A WOMAN? Honesty.
WHAT IS IT YOU MOST DISLIKE? I dislike that a world of similar people try so hard to be different to the point that they must kill or alienate others to prove that they are right. Religions, nationalities, political beliefs, even ways people dress seem to cause such furor. In the end, we must all realize deep down that if we truly believe that a higher power created us, he/she did not create us to play his giant version of the game Risk. He/She created us to get along and adapt together, to thrive on a planet that has everything, if everyone shared. I have a problem with anyone telling me I'm going here or there when I die. Does it matter. Wouldn't you rather take the chance that this is our only shot and to soak up every second of it and love someone rather than hate them? I know it takes so much more energy to argue with someone than it does to hold them and kiss them. It takes much more energy to hate someones point of view than it is to accept their ability to have a viewpoint. It takes much more energy to punch someone than it does to agree to disagree and shake their hand. I hate that people can't accept we don't all believe the same thing or look the same. We all seem to have two arms, two legs and a head...doesn't seem to me like that was an accident.
WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN YOUR FRIENDS? I guess it would fall under loyalty, but what I value most is that I have friends that at times we don't speak for days, weeks, some months, some even years. When reunited, that isn't an issue. Sure we argue at times, we have differences of opinion, but time away, never strains our bond. I remember one time I had not seen a group of friends for one whole year. Not spoken to many for the year. We gathered together as we had on many occasions and there wasn't one awkward moment the entire day. At the end of the time, we said our goodbyes with the expectation that time would lapse before we spoke again, but all was good.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE? Quickly and painlessly, but the reality is I'll probably die of a horrible heart attack due to being overweight and not taking care of myself. I just hope it's not one of those embarrassing things where people think I'm playing a joke because my face is in a bowl of chicken wings. I also hope it's not something where other people have to take care of me. I don't like wiping my own ass at times, god help someone else having to do it. See that's called levity. Death ain't a fun topic, but we all get to do it.
IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR AN ANIMAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE? I think I would come back as a woman who had 10 kids. I'm very nurturing with children and almost motherly, but not in that "ooh my baby scraped his knee" kinda way. I think I'm tender enough kids feel safe, but tough enough they don't over do it. I've seen kids change in my classes when they look for that easy way out and they realize they aren't going to get it. I had one kid in a class who I basically taught that winning and losing was ruining his fun and he was too young for that. His father then basically challenged me to a game of one-on-one in front of his son, which I obviously declined, although the temptation was almost overwhelming.
IF YOU COULD CHOOSE AN OBJECT TO COME BACK AS, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
A penny. Plain and simple, I would like to make up for all the traveling I didn't do in this life.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO (WORDS YOU LIVE BY OR THAT MEAN A LOT TO YOU)? "The truth hurts, but it's better than lying." When people are fat you aren't supposed to say they are fat, because that's hurtful. I'm fat, kids tell me that I'm fat. Some are innocent and some are malicious. It's true, so how can I get mad. When someone says I'm stupid, I get mad, because the reality is, and some might disagree with me, but I'm not stupid. I used to have tests to prove it. But what about when you tell someone who is stupid that they are stupid. It's not socially acceptable, but it's true. Now if a woman says "does this make me look fat?" There is only one answer and that is no. This is the one scenario where telling the truth is in direct correlation to being stupid. If you lie on this one, you are smart. If you don't, you are celibate. I try to be truthful whenever possible, unless I feel damage will be caused. Then I have to adapt. I might not lie, but I might dull the truth. Political Correctness may one day doom our society. Truth never will.
WHO HAS BEEN THE GREATEST INFLUENCE ON YOU? This is the easiest question of them all. My father has been my biggest influence. There is almost nothing I do that is not in some way connected to him. He's one of the smartest people I know. He's read more books than I've looked at in some libraries. He started me on my appreciation to film. As a youngster he took me to a revival theater that was playing Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai. Who takes a little kid to an old black and white movie, with subtitles, where almost everyone gets killed? Did I mention it's almost four hours long? To this day, it's one of my favorite films. He opened my eyes to art and music. I was pointing out which composer was on the radio (at times) before he could when I was ten or eleven. He gave me an appreciation for fine wines and sometimes not so fine that were just as good. He made me do my homework and made me make sure that everything was grammatically correct and my spelling was perfect. I hated that, but now when people misspell words it drives me crazy. The one thing I think I learned from him that has stayed with me was when I would write a book report, an essay, or some type of research paper in grade school, he would read it once. He would make a suggestion or two and I'd add or subtract something. Then he would edit it. I would always ask him what he thought and he would always say "are you happy with it?" I would sit an reread it and go over it again and again, but in the end, I would almost always say "yes I am." He'd tell me "well, then you're done." When I got older, in high school and my college years, (with two complicated exceptions) I never once wrote a paper that I can remember that received lower than a B+. I sometimes rush through things, but if I've taken one thing from him, it's to be happy with what you've produced and be at peace with your effort. If my effort had been half of what I put forward, I don't think he would have pushed any harder. I think that was the lesson. He turns 75 today and I hope that one day, I can be 75 and have someone feel that I've impacted their life half as much as he impacted mine.
This concludes the questionnaire. I thought when I began this would be my shortest blog ever. It has taken me nearly two and a half hours to finish it. Albeit there were some distractions along the way, via calls, texts, etc. I don't know if anyone will read it start to finish, but I assume if you've gotten this far, you are not only a friend but someone who now knows me a little better than before. Au revior!
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? Mine is nothing symbolic or some cliche like to die alone. We all die alone in some way or another. Unless of course, we die in a car crash with others, but metaphorically, we all die our own deaths. My true fear is very strong winds. I shit you not. I'm probably less likely to be blown away than 95% of the world, but strong wind scares me. I've seen hurricane winds, but the thought of a tornado absolutely paralyzes me. There was a street sign on my corner that would flap in the breeze every time a bad storm came through and I swore that one day the sign would dislodge and kill me, Final Destination style. Serious, wind. Scares the shit out of me.
WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND? I've been sick for a week, so it's one of aggravation. Aside from the sickness, I feel somewhat worn down from the routine of life. I need a new challenge, maybe even a new locale, definitely some kind of stimulation. I'm also very distracted lately. My attention span is that of a gnat. This must change. I need to get back the ability to relax, watch a movie, not worrying about this and that. I'm also looking forward to a family Thanksgiving.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?(WAY OF SPENDING TIME) I would have to say curled up on a rainy afternoon or evening watching a great movie with a hot cup of coffee. Alone is wonderful. With someone special is perfect.
WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH? Richard Nixon - yes he had his faults, but he was borderline genius and did many good things while he was in office. All is overshadowed by the one bad thing he did, which in retrospect isn't half as bad as some of the stuff that has been done by president before and after Nixon's tenure. That being said, I think when all was said and done, he was more a misunderstood individual than a villain.
WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE? I am not one who admires people for the most part. We're all human. Some invent things, some make money, some have talent, but is another human really worth admiring? I guess if a gun was put to my head, I admire truly good parents. Parents, who despite their fatigue or personal problems, cook their children dinner and sit and talk with them about their days. I admire the kindergartner's parents whose child said please and thank you to me the other day without being told. I admire the first grader's parents, whose daughter stopped me from doing my class because she wanted to tie the 2nd and 3rd graders shoes so they wouldn't trip and get hurt. I admire the parents of the child who during a snack break had four mini muffins and gave three of them away to kids whose parents forgot to pack a snack, leaving him with one. Then when he saw that another kid didn't have snack, he broke his remaining muffin in half and shared it. I admire those parents. They are few and far between.
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL HERO? Max, from Where The Wild Things Are, because despite the power he found, he never forgot where he came from or where he belongs.
WHO ARE YOUR REAL-LIFE HEROES? My parents and grandparents. Six people who showed me more in my life than hundreds of teachers could ever do. They also showed me that you don't always have to say what people want to hear. I learned this by saying those things to them first.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION? Obviously family, but I don't think this is what the question is meant to mean. I believe this is a materialistic question so I will answer it as such. I do not own one thing in this world, I would not give up, in a second, for anyone I care abouts health and happiness.
WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST? There have been so many places I've been with friends and family and shared momentous occasions and feelings of happiness, but if I had to be selfish and only think about me, the choice is easy. The four summers I spent at Birchmont. Each one was special in a different way, but all were as close to perfect as I can imagine.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTERISTIC? I'm a big boy. I like to eat and drink and my body shows this. I wasn't always like that, it used to be my legs...or so I was told. Old age and bad habits will do that to you. Oh yeah and two torn ACL's.
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE (HATE) IN YOURSELF? My inability to clean my apartment to the point I can't have company. My apartment is smaller than most walk-in closets. My apartment might be a walk-in closet. Yet, there is a stack of paper on the desk and on the floor that rivals Vesuvius. I've got dust with born on dating since before some of my friends had their children. Oddly enough, dirty dishes is my pet peeve and I almost never have dirty dishes in the sink. Don't ask.
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS? Ignorance, being proud of your ignorance, and not willing to admit ignorance. If I don't know I say I don't know. I feel ashamed. I then go home and spend long sessions looking up info on said topic on the Internet. I will spend hours sometimes, so the next time, if it occurs, I am more prepared than anyone in the room. If only I had done this in school. I just don't understand how people can be proud of not knowing common knowledge things. I don't understand how "devout" Catholics, Jews, Muslims, etc don't know their own religion. I don't know why people don't understand things that are important to societies well being, and brag about it. For every intelligent conversation I have had in the past year, I have had this response given to me ten times "Don't bother me with that shit, I don't read or listen to the news...why should I care what goes on in Iran or Iraq or wherever were fighting." Seriously, this is almost a verbatim response to any debate. Scares me.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE? Sadly, socializing at the bar. I probably spend twice as much a month on going out eating and drinking as I do on rent. This is not something I'm proud of, necessarily, but I find the people that stay home all the time when they do come out, they all talk about the same things, and honestly I don't really care about your kids first shit or the excitement that this years Real World is giving you. Tila Tequila is a drink right?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JOURNEY? My next one. I'm not a traveler, per se, but I do like to go away. I don't need a plane, or a bus, or a train. My next journey was planned last weekend, but rainy weather changed my mind. I was going to go solo to my old stomping grounds in Brooklyn. Hit up Grimaldi's or Difara's for some pizza. Then over to Atlantic Ave to Sahadi for some of the world's best hummus and coffee. Then over to the Promenade and just stare at the Brooklyn Bridge. That was it. Maybe next week or the week after.
WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE? I've gained so much weight I don't think I look anything like I used to. I don't know if that's good or bad, but while I was never thin, I did have a pretty good physique back in my 17-19 years. I was strong, a good athlete, and could actually walk without limping or being out of breath.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVER-RATED VIRTUE? Purity. You can slice this one any way you like. This is not a good virtue. What's good for the Virgin Mary and Jesus, ain't good for people here on Earth. Seriously, some sick bastards love having sex with virgins. Makes them feel good about themselves. Really, for how long? Six minutes? Seriously, find me an impure girl and now we're talking. OK, so it's not about sex, it's a spiritual thing. OK, if I'm with someone who is living for the after world, I'm fucked. First off, we're not on the same mental plain and probably won't be honeymooning on the same plane, so why bother. I don't need pure thoughts, pure anything really. Unless I'm going to eat snow. Then purity is fine and dandy.
ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE? If I lie it is only not to hurt others. That being said, my lies are few and far between. You wanna know how you spot the liar. He's the one who never hurts any one's feelings. Lying is for cowards. Lying is for those who don't have enough value in their own lives so they make things up to give the impression of greatness when in reality, once their lies have been uncovered, they become smaller than they once were.
WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVER-USE? I refer to things as the best a lot, when they are in fact not even close to being the best. They are just above average for that time frame. I also say "I heard," when a lot of times, I read, or I was witness to, but I tend to say I heard, which is weird. I don't now why I do this. I am sure to be called out on this by anyone who reads this.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE? It's silly, but I wish I played sports in high school. I wish I did something at that time in my life that was more about a group than about me. I was a good athlete, and all due respect to people I went to high school with, a hell of a lot better than most of the better players in every sport. Obviously, I didn't have any thoughts of making it past high school, because at 5'9" 194lbs with speed like a baby cow, there wasn't much to dream about. I do wish I played for teams though. The camaraderie, the leadership, the coaching. I ended up coaching after high school and I realize how important it is to have someone show you how to do things better than you knew how. I always knew I could hit a baseball, but if I had played under our teams coach, I'm sure I would have hit it that much harder, that much further, and definitely that much more often. Big mistake, but I was young and dumb. It's silly now, but I think it would have made a big difference. I try in my own little way to make that difference in kids lives now.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT? Maybe saving someones life (a memory I'm sure she's long forgotten). I'll never know. I was leaving school in second grade and a friend of mine had walked ahead. We lived a few doors down from each other and always walked home from school together, rain or shine. I was talking to some of my friends when I noticed she was talking to someone in a car. I saw her open the back door and start to get in. I dropped my book bag and ran towards the car and grabbed her jacket and yanked it. She and I both went tumbling out onto the street and the car sped off, back door slamming shut as he drove away. We got up, I grabbed my books and we ran home as fast as we could. The man had told her that her mom had asked him to pick her up and take her home and she believed him. Maybe the story wasn't as dramatic as I remembered, but my mother told me that I came in the house crying my eyes out that someone tried to steal my friend. I'd say that's about as good as I'm capable.
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? I love Boston, but it's basically a quieter New York with a baseball team I adore. I don't think I'd wanna live there though. Nope, for me it would be in a little house with a screened in porch looking over Lake Wentworth in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire. I wouldn't need a big house. Just big enough that friends could visit, a fire could be set, and in the spring and summer we could hang our feet off the dock and feed the ducks or gaze at the eagles as they soared amongst the clouds during some of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever witnessed.
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A MAN? Honesty. There is no quality, virtue, whatever you want to call it that matters most to me than someone being honest with me. Male or female, honesty is what matters most.
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A WOMAN? Honesty.
WHAT IS IT YOU MOST DISLIKE? I dislike that a world of similar people try so hard to be different to the point that they must kill or alienate others to prove that they are right. Religions, nationalities, political beliefs, even ways people dress seem to cause such furor. In the end, we must all realize deep down that if we truly believe that a higher power created us, he/she did not create us to play his giant version of the game Risk. He/She created us to get along and adapt together, to thrive on a planet that has everything, if everyone shared. I have a problem with anyone telling me I'm going here or there when I die. Does it matter. Wouldn't you rather take the chance that this is our only shot and to soak up every second of it and love someone rather than hate them? I know it takes so much more energy to argue with someone than it does to hold them and kiss them. It takes much more energy to hate someones point of view than it is to accept their ability to have a viewpoint. It takes much more energy to punch someone than it does to agree to disagree and shake their hand. I hate that people can't accept we don't all believe the same thing or look the same. We all seem to have two arms, two legs and a head...doesn't seem to me like that was an accident.
WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN YOUR FRIENDS? I guess it would fall under loyalty, but what I value most is that I have friends that at times we don't speak for days, weeks, some months, some even years. When reunited, that isn't an issue. Sure we argue at times, we have differences of opinion, but time away, never strains our bond. I remember one time I had not seen a group of friends for one whole year. Not spoken to many for the year. We gathered together as we had on many occasions and there wasn't one awkward moment the entire day. At the end of the time, we said our goodbyes with the expectation that time would lapse before we spoke again, but all was good.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE? Quickly and painlessly, but the reality is I'll probably die of a horrible heart attack due to being overweight and not taking care of myself. I just hope it's not one of those embarrassing things where people think I'm playing a joke because my face is in a bowl of chicken wings. I also hope it's not something where other people have to take care of me. I don't like wiping my own ass at times, god help someone else having to do it. See that's called levity. Death ain't a fun topic, but we all get to do it.
IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR AN ANIMAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE? I think I would come back as a woman who had 10 kids. I'm very nurturing with children and almost motherly, but not in that "ooh my baby scraped his knee" kinda way. I think I'm tender enough kids feel safe, but tough enough they don't over do it. I've seen kids change in my classes when they look for that easy way out and they realize they aren't going to get it. I had one kid in a class who I basically taught that winning and losing was ruining his fun and he was too young for that. His father then basically challenged me to a game of one-on-one in front of his son, which I obviously declined, although the temptation was almost overwhelming.
IF YOU COULD CHOOSE AN OBJECT TO COME BACK AS, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
A penny. Plain and simple, I would like to make up for all the traveling I didn't do in this life.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO (WORDS YOU LIVE BY OR THAT MEAN A LOT TO YOU)? "The truth hurts, but it's better than lying." When people are fat you aren't supposed to say they are fat, because that's hurtful. I'm fat, kids tell me that I'm fat. Some are innocent and some are malicious. It's true, so how can I get mad. When someone says I'm stupid, I get mad, because the reality is, and some might disagree with me, but I'm not stupid. I used to have tests to prove it. But what about when you tell someone who is stupid that they are stupid. It's not socially acceptable, but it's true. Now if a woman says "does this make me look fat?" There is only one answer and that is no. This is the one scenario where telling the truth is in direct correlation to being stupid. If you lie on this one, you are smart. If you don't, you are celibate. I try to be truthful whenever possible, unless I feel damage will be caused. Then I have to adapt. I might not lie, but I might dull the truth. Political Correctness may one day doom our society. Truth never will.
WHO HAS BEEN THE GREATEST INFLUENCE ON YOU? This is the easiest question of them all. My father has been my biggest influence. There is almost nothing I do that is not in some way connected to him. He's one of the smartest people I know. He's read more books than I've looked at in some libraries. He started me on my appreciation to film. As a youngster he took me to a revival theater that was playing Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai. Who takes a little kid to an old black and white movie, with subtitles, where almost everyone gets killed? Did I mention it's almost four hours long? To this day, it's one of my favorite films. He opened my eyes to art and music. I was pointing out which composer was on the radio (at times) before he could when I was ten or eleven. He gave me an appreciation for fine wines and sometimes not so fine that were just as good. He made me do my homework and made me make sure that everything was grammatically correct and my spelling was perfect. I hated that, but now when people misspell words it drives me crazy. The one thing I think I learned from him that has stayed with me was when I would write a book report, an essay, or some type of research paper in grade school, he would read it once. He would make a suggestion or two and I'd add or subtract something. Then he would edit it. I would always ask him what he thought and he would always say "are you happy with it?" I would sit an reread it and go over it again and again, but in the end, I would almost always say "yes I am." He'd tell me "well, then you're done." When I got older, in high school and my college years, (with two complicated exceptions) I never once wrote a paper that I can remember that received lower than a B+. I sometimes rush through things, but if I've taken one thing from him, it's to be happy with what you've produced and be at peace with your effort. If my effort had been half of what I put forward, I don't think he would have pushed any harder. I think that was the lesson. He turns 75 today and I hope that one day, I can be 75 and have someone feel that I've impacted their life half as much as he impacted mine.
This concludes the questionnaire. I thought when I began this would be my shortest blog ever. It has taken me nearly two and a half hours to finish it. Albeit there were some distractions along the way, via calls, texts, etc. I don't know if anyone will read it start to finish, but I assume if you've gotten this far, you are not only a friend but someone who now knows me a little better than before. Au revior!
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