Three Years Ago

Three summers ago, my life was a lot different. I was in an awkward position financially and I'd really come to grips with the fact that a lot of the summer was going to be spent on my own. I got into a habit, almost every night of taking walks. Some short, some long, some with a destination in mind, some without, but almost every night, rain of shine, I walked. The cooler temperatures allowed me to enjoy it, although I can remember evenings, drenched in sweat or frozen solid, depending on the season. I was in pain, because of my knees, but these walks cleared my mind, my lungs and whatever else seemed to ail me. I don't know exactly when my hip issue started, but unlike my knees, the hip was a mystery. I woke up one morning, my hip was stiff and when I left the house, I was in agony. I assumed I slept wrong and it would right itself once I stretched it out. Three years later, that isn't the case. I've learned to live with not just pain, but agony. The limited range of motion is actually more of a hindrance than the pain and has affected more than just walking, but that's not really what I'm thinking about now. I'm thinking about those walks. So often, on rainy evenings, thinking about nothing at all, but the moon, the stars and all I had to enjoy in life. I'd then come home, be quickly reminded of my awful apartment, but I'd fight it. I'd let those walks carry me through until the next. I'd give anything for one of those walks right now, but I don't think I'd return.