Skip to main content

Free Writing - Take 94

Sorry if you read this to start your day, it's been bothering me for weeks and just needed an outlet.

It's been a while since I've felt like sharing much. I've shared with a select few, but it seems there's so much anger and depression in the world, but when you point it out, or even the wonderful things, you're told you have problems, your conceited or even worse, you're depressed. A few months ago, it was spread a round, that I was suffering from depression. Anyone who knows me well, understands that I take mental instability very seriously. It's something that I think is overlooked and sometimes we miss the signs of those truly suffering.  What bothers me most, is the person who decided to tell people I am suffering from a real illness, battles alcohol each and every night. They don't believe they have a problem, but it has rendered them completely useless for about 15 hours a day. Sadly, I don't care about their problems anymore, because they've made their bed. Is that horrible? No it's not. You can only point out someone's problem and ask them to look in the mirror so many times. It's affected their routines, their relationships, their ability to function,  to remember the simplest details and most of all it's made them lose sight of their priorities. Alcohol isn't addictive, it's the personality of the drinker that is. Alcohol is the invisible crutch. People used to label me, but those that really know, understand that I never drank, not even once, to drown a problem, to ease the pain or to make life go away. I drank to have fun. When I drank, I laughed, smiled and talked. I didn't sit in the dark, moaning people's names, falling into walls or trying to forget some silly obsession. When I felt pain, I either faced it or turned to a quiet space, where I could be alone, in thought and with the clearest head possible. It's why when things are really bad for others, they turn to me and they don't only see my back or my head, face down in my own fears. Depression is real and I feel for those who suffer and I reach out when I think there is need. Alcoholism is real too, but you know when it goes away? When you stop drinking. When depression's cause is taken away, we lose a life. Don't ever use the term depression and lightly as you'd use alcoholic, whether you agree with my definitions or not. It is a dangerous mistake and one used all too often.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...

Lists

Americans are obsessed with lists. Christmas Lists, Top Ten Lists, Shopping Lists, Hell, when I was a kid, one of the most popular books was aptly titled, The Book of Lists. We're obsessed. I make lists all the time and while I try to use the universally accepted limit of ten items, they rarely end up that way. That being said, lists are a terrible thing. I have never, not once in my life, used a shopping list. You know what I'm good at? Shopping. I buy what's on sale, forgoing the avocados this week and buying some peaches that looked ripe and at a bargain. I walk down every aisle and find things I'd never think to add to the holy list, but now see the large can is but 89 cents. Lists keep us from exploring. The inspiration for this, was not a rebuttal to a friends first blog, in which she lists things, proclaiming lists are a part of her life. No, this was inspired by a comical moment had at 5:18 in the morning. I went to get a glass of water and gazed in the frid...

If You Listen To One Speech - Lana Wachowski

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/videos/lana-wachowski-opens-up-about-difficult-past-and-attempted-suicide-20121024 Today I saw a link to a video for a speech by Lana Wachowski.  The last name rung a bell, but I could't put my finger on it. Lana, used to be Larry, one of the writer, director, producers of the Matrix trilogy, V for Vendetta and the upcoming Cloud Atlas.  Lana is transgendered and has "come out" as a woman.  She was being honored by the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't know what to expect when this broad woman with crazy hair and a raspy voice began to speak.  She began with the usual pleasantries and told of her hair dresser. She then tells of her desire to be a quiet person and how hard the success of the Matrix movies made this.  The first ten minutes is telling of how she's not quite ready to be this spokesperson.  Then she speaks about the new movie Cloud Atlas and reveals the heart of the movie and this speech. She states,"The resp...