When I was a young child, there was never a kid's table. If there was, I surely wasn't seated at it. I enjoyed the adult conversation, listening, learning, and on occasion, adding my childish perspective. As a teen, I shunned the adult table and surrounded myself with my peers, but always felt as though I was out of place. As if I were in some maturity limbo. I felt I knew more than my teachers, more than my friends and much less than those I aspired to surround myself with. I then started working full-time after high school and felt like an old soul. My friends were stressing about a grade, while I was thinking about buying a car, a house, and more.
Fast-forward thirty years. I work with people the same age I was in the last scenario. They have their entire lives ahead of them, albeit, many of them with an Ivy league degree. They talk about trips, volunteer work in other countries, craft beers, and school. Tests, papers, and projects. I envy them. I have little to offer them in words of advice other than satisfaction in one's place breeds complacency. It's as bad as a drug addiction. It grows within you and never leaves, even when you make moves. Lateral moves feel as monumental as those which bring you up. Those which bring you down are doubly as devastating because that awful feeling of being content is shaken. I could tell them this, but I don't. They seem more focused than I was at that age. For all the talk in social media and print media about Millennials, they are a focused bunch. The problem Gen X and the Baby Boomers has is, they don't recognize their drive, because it's viewed as selfish.
And this leads me to the only other bit of advice I could give them.
Be Selfish. Do for you first and the rest will fall into place. Your personal happiness will turn into other's happiness. Without self-efficacy, you can not achieve the person you deserve to be. Without that person, you can't create a life where your life promotes other's happiness. How can one without the ability to achieve their own goals, no matter how minor, spread that success to another?
I've always been good at what I do, whatever it is, but I'm not good at turning that into what I can call success. I don't view money as success, but I do know, now more than ever, that the lack of money for doing a job, has hindered my growth. Not in terms of materialism, but in terms of self. That is a lesson I could teach my younger peers, but why would they listen to someone who is stuck where they are, seemingly their entire life? This is where I am and it makes me wonder, as I laugh with them, share silly stories about the kids, a meal, money woes, and living arrangements. I'm going to be 48-years-old soon and I have more in common with the early 20-somethings that I do with my friends who are my age. I can't even say I've lived more than they have. I have endured more, but that is something we all will do. How we do it is the key. I look around me and those who are selfish when it comes to other's pain, grief, and sickness, are the ones holding the chips.
So maybe this is the third lesson. If you're going to make a choice that will hinder your success, you'd better make sure you'll never regret it. I struggle with that decision every day and while I know deep down I'd do it again, maybe that knowledge is the problem. Are my decisions now; have they always been, made out of a disconnect to where I am in life, always thinking I'm still young enough to rebound? I sure know when I look at those I'm surrounded by, I don't feel 48, but when we all leave, and they discuss their plans, I'm reminded and it's a bit jarring. It happens every day!
Fast-forward thirty years. I work with people the same age I was in the last scenario. They have their entire lives ahead of them, albeit, many of them with an Ivy league degree. They talk about trips, volunteer work in other countries, craft beers, and school. Tests, papers, and projects. I envy them. I have little to offer them in words of advice other than satisfaction in one's place breeds complacency. It's as bad as a drug addiction. It grows within you and never leaves, even when you make moves. Lateral moves feel as monumental as those which bring you up. Those which bring you down are doubly as devastating because that awful feeling of being content is shaken. I could tell them this, but I don't. They seem more focused than I was at that age. For all the talk in social media and print media about Millennials, they are a focused bunch. The problem Gen X and the Baby Boomers has is, they don't recognize their drive, because it's viewed as selfish.
And this leads me to the only other bit of advice I could give them.
Be Selfish. Do for you first and the rest will fall into place. Your personal happiness will turn into other's happiness. Without self-efficacy, you can not achieve the person you deserve to be. Without that person, you can't create a life where your life promotes other's happiness. How can one without the ability to achieve their own goals, no matter how minor, spread that success to another?
I've always been good at what I do, whatever it is, but I'm not good at turning that into what I can call success. I don't view money as success, but I do know, now more than ever, that the lack of money for doing a job, has hindered my growth. Not in terms of materialism, but in terms of self. That is a lesson I could teach my younger peers, but why would they listen to someone who is stuck where they are, seemingly their entire life? This is where I am and it makes me wonder, as I laugh with them, share silly stories about the kids, a meal, money woes, and living arrangements. I'm going to be 48-years-old soon and I have more in common with the early 20-somethings that I do with my friends who are my age. I can't even say I've lived more than they have. I have endured more, but that is something we all will do. How we do it is the key. I look around me and those who are selfish when it comes to other's pain, grief, and sickness, are the ones holding the chips.
So maybe this is the third lesson. If you're going to make a choice that will hinder your success, you'd better make sure you'll never regret it. I struggle with that decision every day and while I know deep down I'd do it again, maybe that knowledge is the problem. Are my decisions now; have they always been, made out of a disconnect to where I am in life, always thinking I'm still young enough to rebound? I sure know when I look at those I'm surrounded by, I don't feel 48, but when we all leave, and they discuss their plans, I'm reminded and it's a bit jarring. It happens every day!
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