I keep saying free writing but keep having themes. I'll try to be different this time. I went into work ten minutes late this week. The latest I've been all year. One, two minutes, is usually my max. Coworkers joked that on-time is late for me. I wasn't even the latest. Oh yeah, and I did it on purpose. Not surprising, nothing was done in those ten minutes, except by the two people who were there last year. Interesting when people do nothing, then try to take control of the situation, once it's been set. Credit is so important for some. I am thinking of giving an anonymous gift. That's how important it is to me. I am so tired of the lack of accountability in the world, yet the desire, no demand for credit. The irony is lost on these insufferable souls. I'm tired after work. I wasn't tired after work last year. I'm exhausted. I'm doing the job of three people and missing out on why I do the job. I'm not the only one in this situation. The funny thing is the others who feel the same, who are really in the other group. It's frustrating, yes, but it's oh so much more exhausting. I wish I could sleep it off, but it's in my thoughts as I lay awake, and has even crept into my dreams. Although with the way I sleep, I doubt they are really dreams. Just different phases of being awake, half-dead to this world that is slowly becoming dead to me. At least there's food, drink, and the occasional bits of laughter. They're important. I consider that wealth, and right now I'm broke.
Most people I know do not care about knowing the truth or facts, they only care about being the one who passes along information. I wonder if I could privately ask people why they use social media (honestly), what their reason would be. I don't think people without a sense of humor, realize how much fun the world can be. Even during the hard times. So many of us spend time thinking of mistakes and regrets, but if we really think about it, we've probably dodged more bullets than missed boats. You know when you sit by yourself reading, sipping some coffee or tea and you don't think about anything, but what you're doing? That!
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