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A Weird Mood

Today was a weird day from start to finish.  I had lots of thoughts today, but none about things I need to be thinking about.  I need to get some stuff done, but didn't feel like attempting them today.  I think it's because I was afraid they'd stress me out, but the irony is that by putting them off, I'm stressing myself unnecessarily.

Today I was thinking about someone who means a lot to me, but frustrates me too.  Part of the frustration is the distance that has been between us recently and part of it is there actions and some of them are mine.  It's rough when friends or family mean the world to you, but they also cause you pain.  It's hard to balance at times and once again, stress is caused.

I didn't want to face the day this morning.  I didn't eat a lot.  I didn't drink a lot.  I basically didn't really move today.  I had wanted to do a few things, but I couldn't get motivated.  I don't want to call it depression, but today, I just felt a little empty.  Like something in my life is missing and I know I can't have it.  I have pieces, but I don't have it all.  I have other things in life that aren't important in the grand scheme and they stress me.

Tomorrow I have some plans.  My mind will be elsewhere.  It had better be.  I don't want to ruin what should be a fun day.  Today was ruined from the start.  Albeit, the day was going to be one of cleaning and shopping, but it was important I got back on track.  Got the little things out of the way, because I need to get these petty distractions out of my world.

Tomorrow is now today and I'm not feeling much better.  Time to turn it around.

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