One of the things I love about coming to Ithaca, especially when visiting with Grandma, was the relaxed vibe here. Sure, there was the time spent helping her, but that was a privilege to do at her age. What I mean is during the down time. Sure when she was younger she liked walks on the beach or on some path, but she also loved to chat. I think I'm probably more like her than anyone else in my family.
When I go away on vacation with a group of people, it's always fun when we're doing group events and playing games, but the special times, the reason why I keep going back, is the times late at night when it would be me and one other person, just shooting the shit. Things would be said, maybe revealed is more apropos, that might not be said in a passing conversation.
So many of us make plans to go to dinner, to have our stories interrupted by waiters or other diners, chiming in and not quite getting where you are in the world or what you mean. Why can't people just sit and talk. I've found more and more, as technology increases and out connections to multiple people and groups becomes easier, that our ability to communicate lessens. People rush each other off the phone, with empty promises of picking up where they left off the next time. People feign exhaustion or make up errands in order of getting out of talking it seems. People just aren't comfortable with face to face conversations anymore.
A few months ago I met a friend for lunch. As the time ticked by, it dawned on me that minutes had turned to hours and the years that I'd known him, had been surmised on that time. What I found fascinating was that as well as I knew him, he became someone else in that time. He reiterated the things about him I'd already known, but he opened up so much of himself to me that I felt I knew him better after those three hours than I had over 27 years. It was because of talking and sharing. Something that seems lost on people today. And no, it's not a generational thing. I see the same irreverence in those who are older as I do with those who are young. I see it with those who are close to me and those who I've just met. It saddens me that our greatest attribute isn't being used.
I remember about a year and a half ago. I had a conversation with someone about everything under the sun. We talked about music, art, sports, kids, movies, science, religion, politics, and everything in between. There were differences of opinion and there were shared beliefs. As we spoke, we drew closer and closer. Ending up with a hand on each other's knees. Mere inches away from each other. A connection had been made and it was one of the best nights I'd had in years. She was younger, very attractive with one major "flaw." She was married and apparently happily so. As the evening drew to a close, we both knew what had to be done. We finished speaking, exchanging or thanks and our appreciation for one another. We then said our goodbyes, embraced and went our separate ways, never to speak again. We couldn't. It would have thrown both our lives into something neither one of us wanted for the other. We didn't scuba dive or go on a hike. We didn't dine at a five star restaurant or go to a Broadway play. We sat and we talked and experienced two lifetimes together. Something I will covet and hope to do again, but maybe more than once.
When I go away on vacation with a group of people, it's always fun when we're doing group events and playing games, but the special times, the reason why I keep going back, is the times late at night when it would be me and one other person, just shooting the shit. Things would be said, maybe revealed is more apropos, that might not be said in a passing conversation.
So many of us make plans to go to dinner, to have our stories interrupted by waiters or other diners, chiming in and not quite getting where you are in the world or what you mean. Why can't people just sit and talk. I've found more and more, as technology increases and out connections to multiple people and groups becomes easier, that our ability to communicate lessens. People rush each other off the phone, with empty promises of picking up where they left off the next time. People feign exhaustion or make up errands in order of getting out of talking it seems. People just aren't comfortable with face to face conversations anymore.
A few months ago I met a friend for lunch. As the time ticked by, it dawned on me that minutes had turned to hours and the years that I'd known him, had been surmised on that time. What I found fascinating was that as well as I knew him, he became someone else in that time. He reiterated the things about him I'd already known, but he opened up so much of himself to me that I felt I knew him better after those three hours than I had over 27 years. It was because of talking and sharing. Something that seems lost on people today. And no, it's not a generational thing. I see the same irreverence in those who are older as I do with those who are young. I see it with those who are close to me and those who I've just met. It saddens me that our greatest attribute isn't being used.
I remember about a year and a half ago. I had a conversation with someone about everything under the sun. We talked about music, art, sports, kids, movies, science, religion, politics, and everything in between. There were differences of opinion and there were shared beliefs. As we spoke, we drew closer and closer. Ending up with a hand on each other's knees. Mere inches away from each other. A connection had been made and it was one of the best nights I'd had in years. She was younger, very attractive with one major "flaw." She was married and apparently happily so. As the evening drew to a close, we both knew what had to be done. We finished speaking, exchanging or thanks and our appreciation for one another. We then said our goodbyes, embraced and went our separate ways, never to speak again. We couldn't. It would have thrown both our lives into something neither one of us wanted for the other. We didn't scuba dive or go on a hike. We didn't dine at a five star restaurant or go to a Broadway play. We sat and we talked and experienced two lifetimes together. Something I will covet and hope to do again, but maybe more than once.
Comments
Post a Comment