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Been A While

Almost a month since my last blog. Haven't really been feeling it recently. Don't want my reality to be misconstrued as negativity. The reality is that life's getting harder to deal with. The physical pain is causing mental pain, more in the form of anxiety. Sleep is once again foreign, unless some serious sedatives are in order, but that is causing its own issues.  I'm treading water, but the weather seems to be getting worse and the waves getting bigger. Staying afloat is more of a chore than a mission, or act of survival.

With movies, my kids and a smaller handful of friends than usual, I keep my ahead above the tide. Sometimes it seems useless as the inevitable is bound to happen. I find solace in knowing those around me are well, or at least better off, but they need to be. Others count on their strength and survival.

The walls I've talked about pressing in seem tighter. The metaphor isn't really one at all, as the space that confines me seems more like a cell than a home these days. I sit outside now, gasping for air, waiting for the next hurdle. We all have them, I've just let them accumulate like some crazed outdoor maze.

Will the cheese be at the end or will I find myself lost? We'll see.

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