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Free Writing - Take 42

Signaling quickly, but checking and double checking my mirrors, I enter the fray. First time behind the wheel in six months. Immediately, I pick up what's difficult to carry while walking. Toilet paper. I spend the evening in a laundromat, enjoying the perks if my freedom. Is this what life's become? I don't like the smell of the clothes. I fold them quickly and stop for a burrito. It used to be my Monday night tradition, but now that has turned into drinks and the annoyances of old men. I'm approaching that point in my life and I fight it with Coors Light and whiskey. I think about every erong decision I've ever made and Jesus it's alarming. The list is staggering in comparison to those right decisions.  School, work, women, friendships. All weighted to the side of faults. Those who love me expect a ray of sunshine to shine through onto me, but my doctor's orders to abstain act as a metaphor. The darkness suits me. It shows my best side. Hiding my fears, my suffering and my mistakes, whereas in the light, I'm a joker, a mentor a friend to those in need. I needed someone these past few months, but here in the dark, it's hard to know when anyone is really with you.

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