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Free Writing - Take 86

I sleep four hours in the morning and about two in the early evening. That's my new sleep schedule. I like it, but I know it needs to end and reality needs to settle in. The reality is the scariest thing, because being behind the eight ball would be a blessing at this point. This is more like a bowling ball. So used to something small coming along and bailing me out temporarily, but it's always been because of who I knew. I feel at times like I don't know anyone anymore. I laid in bed today, thinking about a BBQ. Three people and the best food and drink ever. Not a single thing mattered that day, but the three people there. I think of all three of us and how far different our lives are. Happier, but alone. Free, but limited. Independent, but tied down by routines we've grown used to, neither in a bad way, nor a good. I think about why we were happy back then and why I don't feel that way about other situations. Honestly, when I think about that day and night, it was the most fun I've had in five years, that didn't include intimacy. We'll end on that note, before I truly become depressed.

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