No, I'm not talking about VHS tapes.
I'm talking about our minds. I don't understand meditation completely, and I'll also add, it's because I'm ignorant on the topic and I can't sit with my legs crossed without being in pain. So I've crossed that off my bucket list. What I do actually partake in, quite a bit, is a daily reflection. It helps and it hurts.
We all have those nights where we sit up thinking, but I spend a good portion of my before bedtime, thinking about my day, however mundane it may be and reflect on what I could have done differently. How I could have assisted others, created conversations simply by saying Hello, or how my little spec of dust in humanity could have made a difference. No, this is nothing profound, but something small I do for myself, which I believe may help someone else.
Think of watering the plants. If you forget, you tend to over-water them the following day, creating some odd form of guilt release for yourself, but in reality, you're really just hoping to be better, for the plants. I told a story about a woman's sincerity on a checkout line recently, but yesterday, I failed the basic test of human decency by not saying "Hello, how are you?" to a young woman working as a cashier. I didn't do the norm because she looked angry and I didn't want to force her into a situation where she had to incur the annoyance of social pleasantries with a complete stranger. As I drove home, I realized this wasn't who I was. Later that night, I thought of ways I could possibly make it up to her, realizing quickly I was over-thinking this. It doesn't change my error, but maybe my guilt and frustration with myself was a good thing.
Do not think my version of rewinding always takes a negative connotation because that would be untrue. I ran into two of my kids today and while the discussion was brief, I beamed when I saw them. The mother obviously noticed, although unsure of who the old, unshaven guy smiling at her kids was. This rewind gave me great joy and built my anticipation for the coming school year even more. In a town where people run into each other every day, I had not seen a single of my kids, their parents, or any of my coworkers since June. I miss them all because they give me purpose and I hope I give them something in return.
Today, I may or may not interact with people. These interactions will be either good or bad, but I know I will remember not to ignore the pleasantries, the smiles, and most importantly, the humanity of simply being present. It's not about random acts of kindness, it's about being a human being and treating others better than you'd like to be treated. Nobody ever aspires to be the same, so let's stop pretending to do unto others, is important. Do unto others, better than you'd have them do unto you.
I'm talking about our minds. I don't understand meditation completely, and I'll also add, it's because I'm ignorant on the topic and I can't sit with my legs crossed without being in pain. So I've crossed that off my bucket list. What I do actually partake in, quite a bit, is a daily reflection. It helps and it hurts.
We all have those nights where we sit up thinking, but I spend a good portion of my before bedtime, thinking about my day, however mundane it may be and reflect on what I could have done differently. How I could have assisted others, created conversations simply by saying Hello, or how my little spec of dust in humanity could have made a difference. No, this is nothing profound, but something small I do for myself, which I believe may help someone else.
Think of watering the plants. If you forget, you tend to over-water them the following day, creating some odd form of guilt release for yourself, but in reality, you're really just hoping to be better, for the plants. I told a story about a woman's sincerity on a checkout line recently, but yesterday, I failed the basic test of human decency by not saying "Hello, how are you?" to a young woman working as a cashier. I didn't do the norm because she looked angry and I didn't want to force her into a situation where she had to incur the annoyance of social pleasantries with a complete stranger. As I drove home, I realized this wasn't who I was. Later that night, I thought of ways I could possibly make it up to her, realizing quickly I was over-thinking this. It doesn't change my error, but maybe my guilt and frustration with myself was a good thing.
Do not think my version of rewinding always takes a negative connotation because that would be untrue. I ran into two of my kids today and while the discussion was brief, I beamed when I saw them. The mother obviously noticed, although unsure of who the old, unshaven guy smiling at her kids was. This rewind gave me great joy and built my anticipation for the coming school year even more. In a town where people run into each other every day, I had not seen a single of my kids, their parents, or any of my coworkers since June. I miss them all because they give me purpose and I hope I give them something in return.
Today, I may or may not interact with people. These interactions will be either good or bad, but I know I will remember not to ignore the pleasantries, the smiles, and most importantly, the humanity of simply being present. It's not about random acts of kindness, it's about being a human being and treating others better than you'd like to be treated. Nobody ever aspires to be the same, so let's stop pretending to do unto others, is important. Do unto others, better than you'd have them do unto you.
Look at that... You are doing a mini step 10 (AA) love it! If your not into the whole God thing, just ignore that word it's not necessary, any type of faith or belief in the energy floating around the universe is fine :-)
ReplyDeletehttps://addictionrecovery.lds.org/steps/10?lang=eng
Thank You! I did not know this thought process was part of the recovery process in AA. While I'm far from religious, I do love studying religion and the overall idea of being good to others. It's a coincidence, but the night after I wrote this, I watched an Italian Film called The Flowers of St. Francis. Assisi has always been my favorite of the Christian saints and this movie is somewhat how I'm trying to live. Albeit the poverty thing isn't by choice, but the minimalist views towards material wealth is. I'm definitely going to check back later and read the other steps and see how much other aspects of my life resemble them. Thanks Again!
DeleteMy pleasure … https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/twelve-steps-and-twelve-traditions don't skip the 12 traditions they are a work of genius!
ReplyDelete