Skip to main content

Half Capacity

Half capacity seems pretty appealing right now. I know, based on my own living situation, I'd take that in a heartbeat. The walls seem a little closer together. The sounds of snores, sighs, and nervous cackles tend to echo to the point of pain. The dirty dishes piling up, the hair on the ground, and the dried mud that my bare feet find seem more plentiful. As I try to concentrate on my own emotional stability, I watch as someone else, who was suspect to begin with, starts to turn into something I've seen before. Yet this is narcissistic, almost entitled. The mess is not a decaying mental state, but an announcement of presence. A need for acknowledgment where there is none, nor is it deserved. I do not take the bait and the filth intensifies. Transported, nature's dirt kicks up and somehow finds its way into my shoes. Tiny granite pebbles would feel like shards if not for the drying of my skin and the toughening of my soles. The other soul, the one with the U, is being tested. I think back to times before, not so long ago, when control was an issue. I think about the one thing I felt so deeply; disrespect. I breathe deeply, especially when outdoors. I let the brisk air fill my lungs and I think immediately of places I've been. They are not specific locations, but ideas. Past and future combine. Soft breezes, the sound of water, the smell of the grass and trees. Little kids laughing, women smiling, nods from the men. I imagine living without all of them or with just one, maybe two, maybe all of them, Anything, but this. Maybe half of them. Half capacity seems pretty wonderful.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...

Lists

Americans are obsessed with lists. Christmas Lists, Top Ten Lists, Shopping Lists, Hell, when I was a kid, one of the most popular books was aptly titled, The Book of Lists. We're obsessed. I make lists all the time and while I try to use the universally accepted limit of ten items, they rarely end up that way. That being said, lists are a terrible thing. I have never, not once in my life, used a shopping list. You know what I'm good at? Shopping. I buy what's on sale, forgoing the avocados this week and buying some peaches that looked ripe and at a bargain. I walk down every aisle and find things I'd never think to add to the holy list, but now see the large can is but 89 cents. Lists keep us from exploring. The inspiration for this, was not a rebuttal to a friends first blog, in which she lists things, proclaiming lists are a part of her life. No, this was inspired by a comical moment had at 5:18 in the morning. I went to get a glass of water and gazed in the frid...

If You Listen To One Speech - Lana Wachowski

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/videos/lana-wachowski-opens-up-about-difficult-past-and-attempted-suicide-20121024 Today I saw a link to a video for a speech by Lana Wachowski.  The last name rung a bell, but I could't put my finger on it. Lana, used to be Larry, one of the writer, director, producers of the Matrix trilogy, V for Vendetta and the upcoming Cloud Atlas.  Lana is transgendered and has "come out" as a woman.  She was being honored by the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't know what to expect when this broad woman with crazy hair and a raspy voice began to speak.  She began with the usual pleasantries and told of her hair dresser. She then tells of her desire to be a quiet person and how hard the success of the Matrix movies made this.  The first ten minutes is telling of how she's not quite ready to be this spokesperson.  Then she speaks about the new movie Cloud Atlas and reveals the heart of the movie and this speech. She states,"The resp...