As I approach my 40th Birthday I think about my love for Rihanna and Lady Gaga, my desire to see Twilight: Eclipse and my goal to do nothing but sit back, eat, drink and watch sports, with the occasional intimate encounter thrown in. Oh yes, I did say 40 and not 14. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and all this other shit in my head that you're about to read.
Shutter Island was as predictable as a Keanu Reeves facial expression.
I think my letter to each month has ran it's course. I just don't feel like bing fucking nostalgic these days.
Why is it that so many healthy old people are so fucking miserable, but younger people with horrible diseases feel blessed, appreciate their lives and bring joy to others?
Pretty people who aren't conceited make me smile.
Vodka diets are interesting, so I hear.
Why do telemarketers keep talking after you say you aren't interested?
I've said it before, but when did standing sideways and giving the duck face become a social normality?
Every day I walk this earth I feel I get smarter. So what's the deal with Sarah Palin?
How many people can really shield their mouth with the inside of their elbow when sneezing or coughing?
Has anyone but me ever been shown a baby picture and not said "oh how cute?" Now, not to be rude, I say it before they show it to me.
If a friend's wife or girlfriend is wearing something where you can see something you shouldn't, is it OK to look?
Do people realize how badly they drive when they are talking on the phone with or without a headset?
Whenever I go to a bar, there always seems to be four single guys to every one single girl. With these odds, wouldn't you think more girls would be there? Where the hell do they go?
Is there anything good on TV anymore?
If everyone got paid the same amount, but only had to work twenty-five hours a week, I bet they'd get the same amount done.
If a person leaves all their inheritance to their dog, is there really any question they were fucking insane?
What has happened to society where the average age of a SUV driver is 40, a sports car is 55, and a four-door sedan is 25?
Is there anything more annoying than people who only tell you stories about their past?
When I look at pictures on the Internet, I get a funny feeling that bestiality is more prevalent than we think.
Not complaining, but when did every girl under 25 become a borderline lesbian?
Men in power are used to getting their way. Men with money are used to getting laid. Why are so many people surprised when there are these political and celebrity sex scandals?
If God made us in his image, can someone please explain me and Megan Fox.
Ever drive by large penitentiaries? Is it really that necessary to have that much unused land? Who mows the lawn?
I'm not making light of suicide, but I can't help but think if I jumped off the TPZ Bridge I'd only get really badly hurt.
and finally a little rant:
You know what drives me insane lately When friends of mine, who claim to be religious, say things like "oh that guy is exaggerating" or "that movie was so unrealistic" or "that was so far fetched" or "who could ever believe that?" Are you serious? Have you read the bible? It's like the basis for every crazy whacked out movie and book idea ever? Creatures, betrayal, angels, lights, seeings, talking bushes, cities turning to salt, fire and brimstone, Satan, prostitutes, sexless births, water being turned into wine and holiday dinners. And you think everything else is unbelievable?
These are the things that have been in my mind. What's been in yours?
Shutter Island was as predictable as a Keanu Reeves facial expression.
I think my letter to each month has ran it's course. I just don't feel like bing fucking nostalgic these days.
Why is it that so many healthy old people are so fucking miserable, but younger people with horrible diseases feel blessed, appreciate their lives and bring joy to others?
Pretty people who aren't conceited make me smile.
Vodka diets are interesting, so I hear.
Why do telemarketers keep talking after you say you aren't interested?
I've said it before, but when did standing sideways and giving the duck face become a social normality?
Every day I walk this earth I feel I get smarter. So what's the deal with Sarah Palin?
How many people can really shield their mouth with the inside of their elbow when sneezing or coughing?
Has anyone but me ever been shown a baby picture and not said "oh how cute?" Now, not to be rude, I say it before they show it to me.
If a friend's wife or girlfriend is wearing something where you can see something you shouldn't, is it OK to look?
Do people realize how badly they drive when they are talking on the phone with or without a headset?
Whenever I go to a bar, there always seems to be four single guys to every one single girl. With these odds, wouldn't you think more girls would be there? Where the hell do they go?
Is there anything good on TV anymore?
If everyone got paid the same amount, but only had to work twenty-five hours a week, I bet they'd get the same amount done.
If a person leaves all their inheritance to their dog, is there really any question they were fucking insane?
What has happened to society where the average age of a SUV driver is 40, a sports car is 55, and a four-door sedan is 25?
Is there anything more annoying than people who only tell you stories about their past?
When I look at pictures on the Internet, I get a funny feeling that bestiality is more prevalent than we think.
Not complaining, but when did every girl under 25 become a borderline lesbian?
Men in power are used to getting their way. Men with money are used to getting laid. Why are so many people surprised when there are these political and celebrity sex scandals?
If God made us in his image, can someone please explain me and Megan Fox.
Ever drive by large penitentiaries? Is it really that necessary to have that much unused land? Who mows the lawn?
I'm not making light of suicide, but I can't help but think if I jumped off the TPZ Bridge I'd only get really badly hurt.
and finally a little rant:
You know what drives me insane lately When friends of mine, who claim to be religious, say things like "oh that guy is exaggerating" or "that movie was so unrealistic" or "that was so far fetched" or "who could ever believe that?" Are you serious? Have you read the bible? It's like the basis for every crazy whacked out movie and book idea ever? Creatures, betrayal, angels, lights, seeings, talking bushes, cities turning to salt, fire and brimstone, Satan, prostitutes, sexless births, water being turned into wine and holiday dinners. And you think everything else is unbelievable?
These are the things that have been in my mind. What's been in yours?
Ever drive by large penitentiaries? Is it really that necessary to have that much unused land?
ReplyDeleteYou have to have a certain amount of land based on the amount of people there are in a facility that create waste water. It is an environmental engineering requirement. That is why you see man made lakes at some large buildings. Lakes can be substituted for large pieces of land. The reason we have these requirements is so we don't end up like Haiti.