The clock ticks the weekend away, but it doesn't matter. This was a vacation for one, but a realization for me. A realization that I'm in more pain than I care to admit. That the simple act of sitting is becoming an issue. People laugh when they hear me complain, but they don't realize what this time last year was like. Wincing in pain as I walked over to demonstrate some sport for my kids, collapsing in sweat as I got home. I'd trade that pain for an hour a day with those angels. No beers and buddies to bounce my woes off of. Deaf ears surround me, both literally and figuratively. Even those on the other side of a phone, whether it be voice or text, seem uninterested in my plight. I can't say I blame them, as it's not a very exciting story. Movies, always dear to my heart, have taken the place of Friday and Saturdays laughing over shots of Jameson or whatever my friends poured me. I don't watch movies like I used to. They are no longer simple entertainment, but something I break down constantly. Going back in my mind. Tonight, I wanted to take a nap and I literally thought out an entire movies and ran it over in my mind, changing lines, characters and results, I couldn't stop thinking and then it came to the end and I was unhappy. I would have rather slept. Two hours I thought this through, thinking maybe this is the idea that lead me to writing it out. It wasn't. Even my title was comical and my inspiration a pop culture icon, famous for who knows what. I would love to know one of these people to understand what makes them tick and how one can be so calculating to maintain fame for doing nothing. Filet mignon for dinner, so incredibly odd in my mistake cooking it, yet it tasted perfect, with the onions and spinach. All three in a bite, tasted like a gourmet steak sandwich, sans the bread. It's not 5AM, I took out the garbage in a tee shirt just two hours ago. Snow angels tempted me, but I feared I'd be stuck. Darwin Award, my fond farewell.
Most people I know do not care about knowing the truth or facts, they only care about being the one who passes along information. I wonder if I could privately ask people why they use social media (honestly), what their reason would be. I don't think people without a sense of humor, realize how much fun the world can be. Even during the hard times. So many of us spend time thinking of mistakes and regrets, but if we really think about it, we've probably dodged more bullets than missed boats. You know when you sit by yourself reading, sipping some coffee or tea and you don't think about anything, but what you're doing? That!
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