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Making Life Easier...Really?

I have a curse. I notice stuff. I notice things constantly that drive me crazy. People say life is short and while I disagree, I can't stand wasting it. I'm not talking about things like sitting in traffic. That shit doesn't bother me for a second. I figure there's nothing I can do about it, so enjoy the view, the music and the solitude. How often can we be forced to enjoy our own company? I'm talking about the things people do that makes no sense. Things like these are what bother me, because people don't see the silliness in it.

Setting the table with bowls when you'll be serving the soup, stew, etc, directly from the pot. So basically you're saving time by setting the table twice?

Backing into the driveway, so it's easier to get out in the morning. The time it takes to back into most driveways is about twice as long as it takes to back out in the morning. Don't believe me? What someone do it.

Leaving early to get somewhere on time. Now there is nothing wrong with being punctual, but how often, in an effort to be somewhere early, do you forget something or end up sitting and waiting for others who didn't do the same? only Then find the frustration you feel from waiting has a negative effect on you mentally.

Writing notes. I can't stand the note writing, post it phenomena. If it's important you will remember it. If it's not, your writing it will only make you think of that one thing all day long, when chances are, there are many more important things to worry about. Calendars are fine, but individual notes are a waste of time and mental energy. Which leads me to....

Grocery lists. I will never understand these things. Unless you are preparing a specific dish, these are unnecessary. What they do is cause you to become a slave to the same foods, which in turn creates boring dishes. Case in point and I'm not one to normally complain, but I've had breaded tilapia, breaded pork chops, roasted chicken, the same kinds of cheese, the same drinks and the exact same snacks about 15 times in the past 15 weeks. I love walking in, seeing something and buying it. Maybe it's a lamb chop, maybe it's fish cakes or maybe it's cucumbers on sale. Sometimes it's something as silly as a bag of Goldfish that are normally $1.79, but because I saw them for $1.29, I bought them. Weren't on my list though...what do I do? Put them back?

Not putting makeup on so you can sleep ten minutes later. So ladies, aside from nearly killing us with your shadowy eyes in the left lane, what time have you really saved? Oh and when you finally get to work with that poor application, you know how you look? Tired. How was that extra snooze.

Fast food at the drive thru. The last three times (which have taken place in a span of about two years), that I've gone to a drive thru for breakfast, from the time I pulled in to the time I'm eating, took about 12 minutes. The average morning, I wake up, make a pot of coffee and while it's brewing, I throw a bagel in the toaster, sausage in a pan, then an egg with cheese on it. The toaster pops, I put cream cheese on it, the sausage on top, then the egg. I clean the dish and pour my coffee and sit down to eat. I've wasted no gas, no aggravation and no extra money for two arches. Total time, about 15 minutes. Are those three minutes that valuable? Oh and mine actually tastes good.

Making your bed. You're having company? No. Leave your bed alone. All making it does is make your cat think you hate him and want to deny him the warm spot you've provided. Plus, have you ever had a one night stand with someone who makes their bed? You feel like you've gone all 50 Shades of Grey, because you don't know what to do with the throw pillows? I'm gonna have intimate relations with you without a second thought, but I have to use quantum physics to figure out if the duvet gets pulled back, if we're under it, on top of it and again, am I allowed to throw the throw pillows on the floor. Shit, can we just go back to the bar, because by the time I figure this shit out, I could have backed my car into the drive thru, while applying my lip gloss.


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